


Somebody Like You

by puskababy



Series: Feels Like Home [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Children, Gay Sex, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 07:16:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 52,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puskababy/pseuds/puskababy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After loosing his husband Adam is struggling to raise their two kids while maintaining his career. After divorcing his wife, Kris is also struggling to balance his two jobs and raise his son. The two meet when their kids join the baseball team and sparks fly, but is the still grieving Adam ready to move on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first ever foray into this fandom. Written in 2010-2011.

“Jamie!” Kris yelled, bending down to pick up another of his son’s toys that had been scattered around their home. They seemed to be everywhere, hidden behind every box. His new apartment looked like a bomb had hit it, half unpacked boxes scattered through each room. 

“What Dad?” Jamie’s voice, sounded mildly annoyed. Kris sighed and continued picking up various items from the floor, toys, clothes, dog biscuits. It seemed Cyclone Jamie had well and truly made land fall. 

“You wanna get your stuff ready for the beach? We can take Max if you want” Kris said, smiling at their black Labrador, who was sleeping in the small yard. 

Jamie came racing down the hall then, his young face lit up with excitement. “Really?”

Kris laughed as Jamie ran outside to get the dog, automatically ruffling his son’s hair when he returned. “Of course, now hurry up. I’ll take you back to your mom’s on the way home”

Jamie nodded and ran off to grab something or other, while Kris walked into his bedroom and started packing the overnight bag, shoving Jamie’s clothes inside. It was only a small room, much smaller than the one he had at his mom’s house, but Jamie didn’t seem to mind. Kris didn’t care either, as long as he got to see his son. 

Ever since his divorce Jamie stayed with him Thursday through to Sunday, after which he would return back to his mom. Even though they were no longer married, Kris and Katy still got along relatively well, once she’d gotten over her bitterness. It had taken her 2 years, but they were finally at a point where they no longer screamed at each other. 

Of course, the main reason Katy had screamed at him in the first place, was that Kris had come out, which had been the sole reason for their divorce. Katy just couldn’t understand how, after five years of marriage, Kris was suddenly interested in guys. But it had been something that Kris had been struggling with for a long time, and it had taken a tremendous amount of courage for him to actively do something about it. 

“Ok dad, lets go” Jamie called impatiently. Kris packed up the rest of Jamie’s clothes and went out to his waiting son.

***

Jamie took off as soon as they reached the beach, dragging the dog behind him and leaving Kris to walk slowly along the waters edge. It was unseasonably cold tonight and Jamie was content just to play in the sand, dancing out of the way of the cold water.

Kris ambled along, suddenly wishing he had someone with him, a hand to hold or something equally comforting. It had been two years since he’d had anybody, he’d had few relationships since Katy, but just hadn’t found the right one yet. Things hadn’t exactly been very easy either. A lot of his former friends had sided with Katy after the divorce, so he found he had to start over again. But between his job at the local coffee place, and his three gigs a week at a club downtown, he wasn’t doing too badly on the friends department. 

“Hey Max! Max!” Jamie shouted, racing after the dog, who’d now run up to another man who was sitting up amidst the dunes. Kris jogged up, feeling the cold breeze whip his face and hair. 

“Sorry about him,” he panted, “Max come here!” 

“He’s ok” the man said, reaching out and scratching Max’s ears. Kris laughed as the animal rolled onto his back, exposing his belly. The man smiled softly and scratched Max’s stomach, giving Kris a good chance to have a look at him. 

The man was tall, even though he was sitting, and was dressed impeccably in black jeans and a blue button-down shirt. His hair was black and spiky, and there were silver rings on each finger. But the main thing Kris noticed, was the mans eyes: a startling blue lined with black eyeliner. They were a little red and bloodshot, but Kris suspected this was from the chilly breeze. 

“Ok then Max, leave him alone. Not everyone wants to scratch your belly” he said, tugging the leash. Max remained where he was, tongue lolling out of his mouth happily. 

“Dad come on will ya?” Jamie called, snapping Kris out of his thoughts, which seemed to be caught up with the mans eyes. He smiled before pulling the dog up. 

“Nice meeting you” he called as he jogged off, feeling the man watching him, even though there was no reply.


	2. 2

After another long day in the studio, Adam drove home in a daze, pulling into his driveway and heading inside, his mind almost too exhausted to form thoughts. His mom was in the kitchen, and called out when she heard the door open. 

“Adam? Would you come in here for a sec honey?” 

He leant on the counter, watching her stir a pot of something. 

“What’s up ma?”

Leila sighed softly, looking troubled. “Evan got into some trouble today at school”

Adam frowned. “What happened?”

“He was fighting with another boy. Nothing serious happened, and he’s not suspended but he’s got detention”

“Where is he?”

“In his bedroom, I think he just wants to be by himself for a little while” 

Adam scrubbed his hands over his face, “Ok then”

“Why don’t you go freshen up before dinner? It’s almost ready,” Leila suggested, patting Adam’s back gently. 

Adam slipped off his jacket as he walked through the house, pausing when he heard the sounds of the television in the living room. His 8 year old daughter Anna was watching TV quietly, sitting about an inch from the screen where an old home movie was playing. 

Adam’s heart constricted as he watched the screen, his late husband’s face and voice bringing the memories rushing back. The movie was one of his favourites, the one he’d taken of Brad and the kids playing in the pool at his parents house. Tears gathered in his eyes and fell unchecked down his cheeks as he listened, his heart aching at hearing Brad’s voice again. 

Anna laughed as the movie played, and suddenly Adam couldn’t take it anymore. Dropping his jacket on the hall table he bolted from the room, heading out the back door to the beach that bordered his home. He didn’t stop running until he reached the dunes, sinking down into them and burying his face in his hands. 

He cried for a long time, his shoulders shaking in silent sobs. Finally he looked up, the chilly breeze quickly drying his tears. 

“I miss you,” he whispered, wishing that wherever Brad was, he would hear him. If he listened carefully he could almost hear Brad’s voice, echoing in the crash of the waves, or the sudden gust of wind. 

Adam was so lost in thought that he didn’t even notice the black Labrador bounding up to him until the dog licked his hand. 

“Hey there,” he said, scratching the dog’s ear and wondering who he belonged to. He didn’t have to wait long, as he spotted another man jogging up the beach toward him, a young boy trailing behind him. 

“Sorry about him,” the man panted, “Max come here”

Adam smiled and scratched Max’s ears again, watching the dog roll onto his belly. “He’s ok”

The other man was silent, gazing out over the beach where the young boy was playing in the sand. Adam snuck a quick glance, admiring his appearance, the open honest expression, the kind brown eyes. He was cute, and exactly his type. 

The man laughed, “Come on Max, not everyone wants to scratch your belly”

He pulled the dog up and jogged away, turning back for a moment to offer a quick grin. 

“Nice meeting you” he called, before jogging away with the dog. Adam didn’t reply, content just to watch and let the cold air dry his tears.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Ranga' is a term we use here in Australia in regards to someone with ginger hair. It can be used good-naturedly or otherwise.

“Papa, we need to go or we’re going to be late” Anna said, squirming on her chair. Adam nodded, checking his watch for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. They had about half an hour before the kids needed to be at school. Anna was dressed and currently he was braiding her long dark hair. Evan was sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, still in his jammies. 

“Evan, come on you need to get dressed. Your clothes are all laid on the bed, you just need to get in them” Adam suggested, talking around the hair tie in his mouth. Evan pushed aside his cereal bowl and darted into his room. 

“Is he ok?” Adam asked Anna, who was fiddling with the sparkly bracelet around her wrist. Like both her dads, she had a love for everything sparkly. She rolled her eyes.

“He’s being dumb just because Stuart Randal called him a ranga at school last week” she said, shoving some books into her bag. 

Adam finally finished the braid before he stood up, satisfied that Anna was organised enough. He walked quickly into his son’s room, finding Evan curled up on the bed, the blanket drawn over his small body. 

“I can’t go to school today Papa, I’m sick” he said, faking a cough. Adam sat down on the side of the bed, pulling the blanket back so he could see Evan’s face. 

“Anna told me what happened at school last week. Was that why you were fighting with that other boy?” he asked gently, feeling his heart twist when Evan nodded and crawled into his lap, clinging to the front of his shirt. 

Adam cuddled him, feeling Evan’s strawberry-blonde hair tickle his chin. “It’s ok honey”

“I don’t want to go to school”

Adam sighed, wishing he could keep his little boy safe. “I know, but you have to go to school Ev, you’ve still got lots of stuff to learn”

Evan shook his head. “I’ve learned it all Papa”

“Dad we have to go!” Anna shouted from the living room. Evan folded his arms over his chest, his bottom lip sticking out. Adam sighed. 

“Come on Ev, I’ll help you get dressed.”

Despite his protests, Evan allowed Adam to help him get dressed in his uniform and in no time at all they were piled into the car on the way to the school, a couple blocks away. 

Evan was silent the whole way, and Adam had a sudden idea. 

“Hey Evan aren’t baseball tryouts tomorrow afternoon?”

Evan smiled. “You remembered?” 

“Of course I did, you’re going to make the team this year how could I not remember?”

Evan settled back into his chair, his little face radiant. Adam smiled and tried to concentrate on what Anna was saying, but she was talking a mile a minute, her hands waving in the air. Adam chuckled, marvelling at how much she was like Brad. She had his colouring, the dark hair and pale clear skin, while Evan had inherited Adam’s ginger hair and freckles. 

He couldn’t believe Anna would be 8 later this year, and Evan was 7. It had been Brad who’d suggested children, after a year into their marriage. Both kids had been conceived using sperm from each of them, through a surrogate, which was why the kids had inherited some of their parent’s genes. It had been the best decision Adam had ever made, apart from proposing to Brad, and he didn’t regret a moment, even if sometimes things were hard. 

After a quick kiss on the cheek, Anna raced off once they reached the school grounds, eager to catch up with her friends. Evan lingered, holding Adam’s hand as he walked him to the classroom. 

“So you’ll be here to pick me up this afternoon right?” 

“Of course I will, then we can go practise some catching in the yard if you want. I’ll find your mitt today”

Evan rolled his eyes. “It’s ok Papa, you don’t have to do that, I know you don’t like sports”

Adam laughed. “I’m sure uncle Neil will play with you”

Evan was a little clingy when it came time for Adam to leave, but he was ok in the end, buoyed with the promise of baseball practise that afternoon. After he'd left Adam headed off down the highway back to the studio and another full day of recording.

***

Kris was waiting at the school gate at 3 that afternoon, still in his work clothes. He’d come straight from work, after having to bail on the last hour of his shift. Katy had called to inform him she’d be held up for another couple of hours, and couldn’t be there to pick up Jamie. So Kris had come, after a little grumbling at his ex-wife and her slackness.

Jamie raced out as soon as the bell rang, hurling his hag at his father and immediately launching into a play-by-play of his day. 

“Oh and I met this really cool kid Evan and he has the coolest hair colour ever and we’re both going to try out for the baseball team tomorrow” Jamie rattled off, looking excited. 

“Baseball huh? I didn’t think you were interested, and what do you mean Evan has cool hair?”

“Oh my God Dad he’s so cool, but kinda quiet. His hair is red, but Stuart Randal doesn’t like him. I just think he’s jealous. I shared my cookies with Evan and told him he can come over whenever he wants. He can right Dad? Right?”

Kris laughed. “Of course he can.”

“Oh and how come you’re picking me up? Mom usually comes to get me” Jamie continued on once they were in the car and on the road. 

“You mom had some work emergency and so I’m here instead. Want to practise catching this afternoon?”

“Sure Dad, Evan says his Dad isn’t really into sports. I think he said he was a singer and can't play any sports, even though Evan says he tries”

Jamie prattled on all the way home, informing Kris of how Evan was simply the coolest guy ever and how he wanted to invite him over for a sleepover. They managed to find Jamie’s baseball mitt in one of the boxes and played a few games after dinner. 

Jamie was asleep in bed by the time Katy came around to pick him up. 

“Can you carry him out to the car Kris?” she asked tiredly, leaning against the doorjamb. 

“Can you come to baseball tryouts tomorrow Dad?” Jamie murmured sleepily as Kris settled him in the back of Katy’s car. 

“Of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll see you tomorrow” Kris whispered, kissing Jamie gently on the forehead before stepping back and watching the car head slowly down the street.


	4. 4

True to his word Kris drove out to the oval the next afternoon, parking in the small lot next to a shiny black Mercedes. He could see a few parents and children walking around the edges of the grounds, and eventually spotted Katy standing a small distance away, chatting on her phone. Her back was turned, so Kris walked straight up into the seating area, watching Jamie, who was with a small group of kids out on the grass. 

He could see a ginger-haired kid standing with him, and wondered if it was Evan. Jamie waved excitedly at him before concentrating on what the coach was saying. After a moment Kris wandered over to the railing, listening to the instructions and chuckling at the energy of the kids. If only he had that much energy after a day at work. 

“He looks happy” Katy said as she walked up, her phone still in her hand. 

“Yeah he does” 

“Did you have any idea he wanted to try out for baseball?”

Kris shook his head. “Nope, but you know kids. They get all excited on a spur of the moment thing”

Katy smiled, gazing out at the group. Jamie was now having a go at pitching, hurling the ball at another boy. He had a strong arm, and wound up well, moving quickly and lithely. Together he and Katy watched in silence until the end of the practise, when Kris wandered over to a bouncing Jamie. 

“Did you see me pitching! Dad I had so much fun”

Kris ruffled his hair. “You were great”

Jamie looked around before beckoning the same ginger-haired boy Kris had watched earlier. 

“Dad this is Evan”

“Hey Evan, you were great out there” Kris said, smiling. Evan smiled shyly before waving at someone behind Kris. Kris turned around to see a tall black-haired man walking briskly toward them, a small girl beside him. He was vaguely familiar, but Kris couldn’t quite place where he’d seen him before. 

“Hey Evan, nice work out there” the man said, bending down and hugging Evan tightly. 

“Thanks. This is my Papa, he’s a singer” Evan announced proudly, after he’d been released. 

Kris smiled politely, feeling a surge of butterflies when he met the other man’s gaze. He was attractive, almost absurdly so, and had a friendly smile on his face. 

“I’m Adam Lambert, nice to meet you” he said, extending a hand. 

“Kris Allen” Kris said, feeling those butterflies surge again as Adam’s warm hand enveloped his own. 

“Papa can I go play with Jessica?” the little girl asked, tugging on Adam’s jeans, which Kris noticed were very stylish, and very tight. They hugged his legs, outlining his trim figure. 

“Of course honey” Adam replied, watching her race off to a group of girls gathered by the railing. 

“So did you make the team?” Adam asked after a moment. 

Evan rolled his eyes. “Not yet Papa. They have proper tryouts on Friday afternoon. This was just a practise, duh”

Adam chuckled and glanced at Kris, shrugging slightly. “I knew that”

“No you didn’t Papa, but it’s ok” Evan said, giggling. 

Adam laughed, a high lilting sound. Kris chuckled, totally seeing Jamie’s earlier point about Evan’s Papa not being into sports. He glanced down at Adam’s hands, dismayed when he saw a thin silver band on his ring finger. Why shouldn’t that surprise him? Of course someone like Adam would be taken. 

“So are we ready to go then?” Kris asked, slinging his arm around Jamie. 

“Yeah, my stuff is over there” Jamie said, pointing to where Katy was. She was back on her phone again, and Kris grit his teeth. 

“Well, we better get going too. It was nice meeting you Kris. I’ll see you Friday?” Adam asked a little hesitantly. He chewed absently on a painted fingernail. 

Kris smiled. “Sure, I’ll keep my eye out for you” 

Adam smiled and headed off with Evan, sliding his dark glasses down to ward off the afternoon sun. Kris tried not to stare as he went, but he seemed to be hypnotized by Adam, his eyes glued to the sexy body that was walking away. 

“Come on Dad, I have to go now” Jamie said, rolling his eyes when he saw Kris staring. Kris flushed but followed his son over to where Katy was standing. She looked a little perturbed, and Kris wondered if she’d seen him oogling Adam. While Jamie seemed to be fine with it, Katy was still dealing with it. 

“Ok then, well I’ll see you on Thursday.” Kris said. Jamie nodded and waved at Evan, who was walking backwards beside his father. Kris chuckled and headed off, butterflies rising again when he realised the shiny black Mercedes he’d parked next to, belonged to Adam. 

“We really should stop meeting like this” Adam chuckled, chucking a gym bag into the back. 

“Yeah,” Kris muttered, trying to fight the urge not to stare. He called out a final goodbye, and a promise to meet up on Friday, before heading out of the lot, cursing himself for his inability to say anything mildly intelligent around attractive men.


	5. 5

The next two days passed uneventfully for Adam and his little family. He even tried playing baseball with Evan, but gave that up after he broke a fingernail. Evan didn’t seem to mind though, he was happy to play with whoever came along. He seemed like a different boy, and Adam couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of his newfound friendship with Jamie Allen. 

This afternoon found them all relaxing in the living room while Adam prepared dinner in the adjoining kitchen. Anna was lying on her stomach doing her homework while Evan was on the computer playing games. The room was peaceful, and it was times like this that Adam missed Brad the most. He would have been helping the kids out with the homework, or making dinner. 

Adam sighed, fiddling with the silver band he still wore, despite the fact that Brad had been dead for 2 years. He just couldn’t bring himself to take it off, it reminded him of a happier time and was a symbol of their love. 

“Papa?” Evan asked, having snuck into the kitchen while Adam had been lost in thought. 

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Do you think Dad would have been proud of me?”

Adam’s heart constricted and he picked up his little boy. “Of course honey, he’s proud of everything you guys do”

“It’s just, I know he didn’t like sport”

Adam nodded and went back to stirring the pot of rice, Evan hanging on like a limpet. “I know, but he loved you guys and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you playing baseball”

“What about acting? Daddy loved to act didn’t he?” Anna asked, clambering up to sit on the counter next to the stove. Adam nodded and brushed her cheek, choking up when Anna hung onto his hand. 

“Anna got the lead in the school play” Evan whispered into Adam’s ear. 

“That’s great honey! What’s the play?” Adam asked, setting Evan down on a chair. Anna beamed. 

“It’s Peter Pan, and I’m going to be Wendy”

“That’s fantastic”

Anna nodded and immediately started rattling off a list of things she had to do, while Adam finished up their dinner. Evan pouted when he saw the vegetables on his plate. 

“I hate them” he mumbled, poking at his broccoli. 

“It’s good for you, if you don’t eat it you won’t grow up big and strong. You want to do that right?” Adam demonstrated just how yummy the broccoli was by eating some of his. 

Evan nodded, but still made no move to eat the veggie. 

“You have to be strong to play baseball” Adam pointed out. 

That finally did the trick, Evan got stuck into his meal and the little group ate in silence, occasionally punctuated by a comment about school. Halfway through the meal Evan spoke up. 

“Can I invite Jamie for a sleepover on the weekend?”

Adam swallowed. “Sure, as long as it’s ok with his parents”

Evan grinned. “Jamie says his parents aren’t together anymore, but that his mom is really harsh”

“Well make sure it’s ok with them”

“I will” 

The kids went back to their homework after they’d eaten, leaving Adam to do the dishes in peace. As he washed up he found himself thinking about Kris Allen. He seemed like a nice guy, and was certainly good looking. For the first time in the 2 years since he’d lost Brad, Adam felt like he wanted to get to know someone.


	6. 6

If possible Jamie was even more excited come Friday afternoon. As soon as Kris picked him up from school he was out in the yard running around with the dog and tossing the baseball around. Kris made sure everything was organised before they set off, Jamie bouncing in his seat. 

As soon as they reached the oval Jamie took off, heading off toward a small group of boys and leaving Kris to lug his sports bag out to the bench seats. Kris sat down, glancing around nonchalantly for Adam and his kids. He spotted them after a moment walking toward them, Adam holding his little girls hand while Evan skipped ahead on front of them. Kris was pleased to notice he hadn’t been the only one who’d been left to lug the sports bag out. 

“Hi Kris!” Evan chirped as he reached them. Adam dumped the bag on the ground. 

“Ev, it’s Mr Allen until you know otherwise ok?” 

Kris smiled. “It’s ok, you can call me Kris”

Adam sat down next to him, the little girl by his side. 

“Jessica’s over there Papa” she said, clearing wanting to go play. Adam nodded. 

“Ok, off you go”

She ran off, leaving the two men alone. 

“She’s cute”

Adam smiled, “Her name is Anna. I didn’t get a chance to introduce you the other day”

“So you’re a singer” Kris thought aloud, finding himself wanting to fill the silence. Adam nodded. 

“Yeah, have been for most of my life. I love it” 

“Would I know anything of yours?” 

Adam shrugged. “I’m not sure. Do you listen to the radio?”

Kris’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my God you’re that big? Wow”

Adam laughed. “I wouldn’t get too excited”

“I’ve never known anyone who was famous before, this is exciting”

Adam laughed again, his eyes crinkling at the corner. “Stop it”

Kris chuckled and relaxed, turning his eyes out to the practising kids. 

“I hope he makes it” Adam murmured softly. 

“I’m sure he will. They both will”

“I don’t think I’ve seen him this excited for a long time”

Adam’s eyes were distant, obviously remembering something. Kris didn’t push, but sat quietly, wondering what could have made Adam look so wistful. 

They sat in silence for most of the game, just watching their children race around the diamond until finally the coach blew the whistle and the kids huddled into a group. They spent about 15 minutes huddled together before they separated, each child running back to its parent. 

“Dad! I got in!” Jamie yelled as he raced over. 

Kris hugged him. “That’s great!”

“How’d you do Evan?” Adam asked. 

Evan’s face was downcast, his cheeks blotted red,“I’m on the backup team” 

“That’s still good though, you’re not out completely” Adam said, bending down so he was on eye level. Evan frowned, his little face suddenly very angry. 

“You don’t get it Papa. I’m not on the team and it’s your fault because you wouldn’t practise with me! I want to go home!” Evan shouted, folding his arms over his chest. 

Adam stood up, biting his thumbnail. He looked a little lost, so Kris decided to step in. 

“You mind?” he asked Adam softly, bending down after Adam shook his head. 

“Hey, you know the backup team is important, they’re almost as important as the team. They keep some of the really good players in the backup team because they’ll be able to put you in if someone gets hurt or sick” he said to Evan, who’s face was still scrunched up and angry. 

“And just think, if you practise real hard and get even better then you are now, Coach might put you in sooner than you think” Kris added, watching as Evan uncrossed his arms. 

“Really?”

Kris nodded. “Yeah. And if you want, I can help you out with some ball skills after one of the games one day”

“I’ll help you out too” Jamie piped up. 

Finally Evan nodded, his face not as angry as before. He turned to Adam. 

“I’m sorry I yelled Papa. It’s not your fault you can’t play baseball”

Adam ruffled his hair. “It’s ok”

Relieved, Kris had a sudden idea. “Why don’t we all go out for ice-cream?”

Jamie’s face lit up. “Really?”

Kris looked at Adam. “Sound like a good idea?”

Adam smiled. “Sure”

Kris smiled and picked up Jamie’s gym bag, heading over to his car. Adam was waving at Anna who came over slowly, but brightened once Adam told her what they were doing. 

Kris drove out to his favourite ice-cream parlour in town, and did a quick visual check of his appearance in the rear view mirror before he got out. True he was decently dressed, but walking next to Adam made him feel slightly unstylish, Adam as usual was immaculately dressed. 

“I love this place” Adam said as they lined up at the counter to pick their flavours. After they’d all chosen and paid, they sat down at one of the booths in the front. 

“So what do you do Kris?” Adam asked, keeping a close eye on Evan’s cone. The ice-cream was melting down his hand, running in chocolate rivulets almost onto his sleeve. 

“Here honey” Adam said, handing him a napkin. 

“I work at a little coffee shop in town, and I also sing a couple nights a week at one of the clubs” Kris said, feeling a little embarrassed. 

“Really? That’s cool. What kind of music do you like to sing?”

“Um mainly just cruisey stuff, I don’t know…” Kris said, glancing down at the table. 

“Dad we’re gonna go play on the jungle gym ok?” Jamie informed him, pointing at the play set that was outside the plate glass window. 

“Sure” Kris said, a little dazed. He could feel Adam’s gaze on him, and some part of him didn’t want this moment to end. 

“So you’re married?” Adam asked, before covering his mouth with his hand. 

“I’m sorry that’s none of my business. I have no filter” he said, his cheeks flushed. 

Kris smiled, wanting to put this gorgeous man at ease. “I’m divorced. My ex wife divorced me when I told her I was gay”

Adam smiled and Kris’s stomach jumped. “That must have been difficult for you”

“Yeah it was, still is sometimes but I’m dealing”

“It is hard sometimes, definitely know that feeling” Adam said softly, absently playing with the silver band on his finger. Kris wondered if he was struggling with a similar problem. 

“And you?” he asked, his eyes flicking down to the ring. 

A shadow seemed to pass over Adam’s face and his face was filled with an anguish so raw Kris’s heart hurt. 

“No I’m not married” he said softly. 

Kris didn’t exactly know what to say after that, so he just fiddled with his napkin. Adam turned his eyes to the table top and didn’t speak either. 

“Evan wants to invite Jamie over for a sleepover on the weekend” Adam said after a moment. He offered a smile when Kris looked up, and he knew he hadn’t offended him with his earlier question. 

“That’s cool. I’ll make sure to act surprised when Evan asks” 

Adam smiled openly and the tenseness passed. “Well I better get these two off, it’s getting late”

Kris nodded, a little sad that their time together was ending. “Yeah me too”

They called the kids over and got ready to leave. Kris agreed to let Jamie stay the night the next evening, and agreed to drop him off at 5. Kris said goodnight to them all and drove home slowly, his mind filled with Adam, determined to Google the singer when he got a chance.


	7. 7

Adam spent Saturday tidying up the house before Kris came round that afternoon. More than once during the day his mind turned to the other man, his thoughts caught up with warm brown eyes and the easy way Kris had disciplined Evan. The more he thought about it, the more he thought it had been a bad idea to let someone else step in. 

Brad had always done a lot of the disciplining before: and while Adam had done a little, he wasn’t nearly as strict as Brad had been. The kids had always been pretty good in that department, but he supposed as they got older they’d test out his boundaries more and more. 

The truth was, Evan had looked so much like Brad in that moment, that he’d frozen, almost struck down with memories, until Kris had stepped in. There he was again, Kris. For the first time in years, Adam felt butterflies swirl in his stomach. They obviously had chemistry: Kris was exactly his type. 

A knock at the door shook him from his thoughts and he was almost bowled over as Evan raced down the stairs and answered the door. 

“Come in!” he called, shoving the dust-pan under the sink. Evan opened the door with a flourish, revealing Kris and Jamie, who stepped inside. 

“Woah” Kris said softly, taking in the front foyer of the house. He glanced around, his eyes resting briefly on the framed photo’s on the hall table. 

“Can we go play?” Evan asked, not waiting for a response. The two boys darted off down the hallway, giggling and laughing the whole way. 

“Want some coffee?” Adam asked, leading Kris into the kitchen. Sunlight streamed in through the large glass windows, bathing the room in a warm golden hue. Kris took in the room, the marble counter, the dark cupboards and the white tiled floor. Everything was clean and neat, and absolutely gorgeous. 

He accepted a mug of coffee and sat down across from Adam at the dining table, admiring the glass centrepiece. 

“Mom gave that to me on my birthday” Adam said, sipping his coffee and glancing out the window. 

“It’s nice”

“So is everything cool with Evan? He was pretty angry the other day?” Kris asked after a moment. 

Adam nodded, “Yeah he’s ok now. I talked to my brother Neil and he’s going to come around during the week and practise with him. I’m not good with sports”

Kris looked Adam up and down, flirting a little. “You look the type”

Adam laughed, blushing a little and Kris took a breath, seizing the moment. 

“I’d really like to get to know you better,” he said softly, “and I was just wondering if you’d consider going on a date with me?”

Adam was silent, caught between wanting to immediately accept the offer, and wanting to run in the other direction. He hadn’t been on a date in years, and wasn’t sure he even knew how to anymore. 

Kris picked up on his hesitation. 

“It’s ok, you don’t have to, it was a stupid idea…” 

“I’d love to, it’s not a stupid idea, I just…” Adam trailed off, dropping his eyes to the table. 

Kris brushed a fingertip across the back of Adam’s hand, catching his gaze when he looked up. 

“Just what?”

“It’s been a really long time since I’ve dated” Adam admitted softly. 

Kris smiled. “That’s ok, we can take it slow”

Adam smiled, slipping his fingers through Kris’s and holding his hand for a moment. 

“So I’ll pick you up Saturday at 7?”


	8. 8

It was hard for Kris to focus all week, when he knew he had a date with Adam on Saturday. They saw one another at the kids baseball practise during the week, which was when Adam said something that would potentially be a bombshell. 

“What are we going to tell the kids?”

Kris blew out a breath, his eyes glancing out at the oval. “Could we just say we’re going out for dinner?”

Adam wrinkled his nose. “Anna is way too perceptive, she’ll pick up on it straight away”

“The truth then, lets just tell them what’s really happening”

Adam nodded, twirling one of the rings on his finger. Kris gently bumped his shoulder. 

“They’ll be ok with it, and if they’re not then we’ll just deal with it if that happens”

“Ok, sounds like a plan”

***

Kris sat Jamie down that very night, thankful that it was a Friday and he was with him. He felt that this was something that needed to be discussed in person and not over the phone.

“What’s going on Dad?” Jamie asked. 

“I’ve got something to tell you”

“Yeah?”

“You know Evan’s Papa Adam?”

Jamie nodded. “Yeah, he’s cool”

Kris took a breath. “We’re going on a date tomorrow night”

Jamie was silent for a moment, and Kris was worried he’d blown it. 

“Cool. Where are you going?”

“You’re not mad?”

Jamie shrugged. “Why would I be? Adam’s a cool guy, and I’ve seen the way you look at him”

Kris blushed. “You have?”

Jamie gave him a look. “You’re not exactly subtle Dad”

Kris laughed. “Ok then, as long as you’re ok with it”

Jamie nodded and left the table, leaving Kris feeling strangely buoyant.

***

Unfortunately, Anna wasn’t as accepting as Jamie had been. Evan was alright with the idea, but Anna hated it right from the start.

“Why did you say yes?” she demanded, fixing Adam with a steely gaze. 

“Because I like him, he’s a nice guy”

“Why do you like him?”

Adam sighed, they’d been at this for over an hour now and he was tired of being interrogated by an 8 year old. 

“Like I’ve told you before Anna, he’s nice and kind”

Anna frowned. “But why do you have to date him? Why can’t you just be friends?”

“Because that’s usually what happens with two people that like one another, they date”

“Did you and Dad date?”

“You know we did, you’ve seen the photo’s”

“I don’t like Kris” 

Adam sighed. “Why not?”

“Because”

“Because why?”

Anna frowned. “Just because”

Adam nodded. “Ok, it’s fine if you don’t like him”

“Can I go now?” Anna asked, looking bored. Adam shrugged. 

“Sure”

She headed off then, stomping her little feet as she went down the hall. 

“Get ready for bed you two. I’ll be in shortly” he called down the hall, rolling his eyes slightly when he heard a door slam. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he picked up the phone, wanting some reassurance. 

“Hi mom, it’s just me”

“Hi honey how’s it going?” Leila asked. He could hear her puttering around, pots clanging and music playing softly in the background

“It’s good, just having some trouble with Anna”

“Really? What’s happened?”

Adam slumped down into the chair, running a hand through his hair. “Oh nothing, Anna's just being difficult again, but it's ok. I have some news actually”

“Really?”

He took a breath. “I’m going on a date tomorrow”

Leila was quiet for a moment and he had to ask twice before she answered. 

“That’s so great honey. Who is it?”

“His name is Kris, and we met at the kids baseball practise”

Leila was quiet again. “Are you sure you’re ready for this honey?”

Adam smiled. “Yeah Mom I think I am. Kris is great, he’s sweet and kind and I really like him”

“I’m proud of you Adam. So you’re going to need a babysitter?”

He laughed. “Yes actually, would you mind?”

“Of course not, when should I be there?”

“Um, well we’ll be leaving at 7, so I guess about 6?”

“Tell you what, why don’t I come round earlier and get dinner for the kids organised. You won’t want to be worrying about all that”

“Thanks Mom”

“Ok Ad, you better get those kids off to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow”

He hung up and padded down the hall to the kids rooms. Evan was curled up and in bed, so all he had to do was tuck him in and kiss him goodnight. Anna on the other hand, was writing in her journal and obstinately refused to go to sleep. 

“Honey you need to go to sleep now ok? You can finish this in the morning” 

Anna kept writing, leaving no indication she’d even heard him. 

“Anna. Now please” Adam said firmly. Anna looked up, not used to hearing him be so firm. She sat the book and her pen on the pink bedside table and let him tuck her in and kiss her good night. 

Finally, after a quick tidy up Adam fell into bed, almost too tired to even think about his date. But just before he drifted off, Kris’s face flashed before him and he grinned stupidly before rolling over.


	9. 9

“Dad you’re going to be late” Jamie said, for what seemed like the thousandth time that evening. 

Kris glanced at himself in the mirror, trying to decide if he looked decent or not. He had on a dark blue button-down shirt with dark jeans and converse sneakers. It was what he usually wore, and he figured he shouldn’t try to be different. His hair was the same as it usually was, but he still felt slightly underdressed. 

“Dad! Come on, it’s ten to seven” 

“Are you sure I look ok?” 

Jamie ducked into the closet and returned with a suit jacket. “Wear that if it gets cold. Come on”

Finally they went out to the car. Adam had called earlier to suggest that the kids all stay at his place while his mother looked after them. Kris agreed, happy not to have to pay a babysitter. 

He fidgeted nervously as Jamie rang the doorbell, only to reveal a dark-haired woman who was wearing an apron. 

“Hello, you must be Kris. Come in” she said warmly, stepping aside. 

“I’m Leila, Adam’s mom. The other kids are in the kitchen. We’re making pancakes for dinner” she said as they walked through the foyer. 

“Nice to meet you” Kris managed, trying not to glance around for Adam. 

Leila smiled. “My son is just finishing up. He’ll be out soon”

“Thankyou mother, I’m ready now. I don’t take as long as you seem to think I do” Adam announced, stepping out of a room and coming down the hall. 

He looked amazing, dressed in a black blazer over a graphic tee, and dark jeans that hugged every inch of his long legs. Silver studded boots and his usual array of jewellery completed the outfit. Kris noticed the black eyeliner, and lashing of mascara that made Adam’s eyes even more magnetic. 

“You look amazing” Kris blurted. 

Adam smiled, a little shyly. “Thanks. You ready to go?”

Kris nodded and held the front door open, turning back to see Jamie flash him a thumbs-up. He didn’t miss the stern glance Leila shot his way, but pushed it from his mind as he followed Adam outside.

***

“So where are you taking me?” Adam asked as they strolled down the street a little later that night. They’d stopped for a few drinks at a little bar before Kris had told him they had to go.

“Don’t worry. I made reservations” 

It felt strange to be out without the kids, but Kris revelled in the freedom as they walked through town. Kris led Adam to a small restaurant on a side-street and they were led to a table in the back. Since first meeting Adam, Kris had done a little googling, only to find out that Adam was bigger than he gave himself credit for. His first album had gone Gold in almost every country, and his first solo tour had sold out every single show. It felt mildly intimidating standing next to a superstar, but Adam seemed very down-to-earth, which made Kris feel better. 

“This is nice” Adam said, glancing around the medium-sized room. There were about half a dozen patrons there, and it was comfy and cozy. Just the way Kris liked it. 

“You think so? I pegged you as more of a glam type” 

“I am, but this place is nice. It’s cozy”

Kris smiled and handed over a drink menu, pleased. They ordered their drinks and food, and chatted amiably while they ate. Kris learned that Adam was in the middle of working on his second album, and was just taking some time off to be with his kids. 

He desperately wanted to ask about Adam’s past, but shied away from the topic, not wanting to make things tense or awkward. They were just talking about their high school experience when a young girl walked up to their table. 

Kris was a little miffed, but the girl spoke only to Adam. 

“Would you mind signing something for me?”

Adam grinned, turning on the charm. “Sure”

Kris watched as Adam signed his name with a flourish on the girls picture before wishing her a good night and turning back to him. 

“Is that weird?”

Adam shrugged and sipped his wine. “It can be sometimes, but I’ve gotten used to it”

“I have to admit, I did a little google search on you after we met” Kris said, blushing. 

Adam’s eyes widened. “Really? And what did you find out?”

“Nothing much, just that you’re a superstar with a Gold album and a sold out world tour under your belt”

Adam chuckled. “I’m also just a guy who’s trying to raise two kids and balance a career”

Kris smiled. “You’re doing a great job, as far as I can tell”

***

After dinner they walked along the boardwalk, Kris feeling a little giddy when Adam reached for his hand. They stopped at an ice-cream stand before continuing on, watching the sunset over the ocean.

“Your mom is kinda scary” Kris said after a while. 

Adam laughed. “No way!”

“Yes way! You didn’t see the look of death she gave me when we left” Kris said, over exaggerating slightly. 

Adam chuckled. “Ok, maybe she can be kinda scary”

Once they’d finished eating they headed back to the car. Adam leant against the door and watched the sky while Kris stood beside him, unwilling to let the night end.

“I had fun tonight” Adam said softly, still holding Kris’s hand. Kris nodded, and feeling bold, reached out and brushed Adam’s cheek. 

“Me too”

Gently he turned Adam to face him and moved forward to kiss him softly, just a gentle brush of lips. Adam tasted like ice-cream and his lips were soft. Kris cupped his cheek as Adam kissed him harder, their tongues meeting. 

“Wow” Kris whispered once they’d pulled apart. 

Adam grinned and glanced out at the water again. Kris picked up Adam’s hand again and started examining the rings on his long fingers. He noticed the black nail polish was perfect. 

“I like these” he said absently, ignoring the plain silver ring he’d seen before. Adam allowed him to play with his hands, comfortable with the close scrutiny as long as it was aimed only at his hands. 

“We should be getting back, it’s almost midnight” Adam said softly. 

Kris sighed. “Yeah, even though I don’t want this night to end”

Adam smiled and held Kris’s hand again. “Oh this will be happening again, don’t think it won’t”

“You mean that?”

Adam nodded. “Yeah. I really like you Kris”

“I really like you too. Come on, let’s get home then”

The front lights were on when they pulled up outside the house, and Kris spotted Leila peeking through the curtains. He turned around to find Adam glaring at the window, and burst out laughing at the look of kitten-ish anger on his face. 

“That’s scary” he chuckled. 

Adam rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe her. And you shut up, I can be scary”

“Sure you can”

“Hey!” Adam said, snaking an arm around Kris as they walked up to the door. They shared another quick kiss before Adam opened the door. 

Leila was watching television in the living room, and looked up when they came in. 

“I saw you looking Mom, don’t think I didn’t” Adam said as they sat down. 

“Did you have fun?”

“Yes. The kids go to bed ok?”

Leila smiled and nodded, knowing Adam would tell her about it when he was ready. He’d always been stubborn like that. 

“Yes, they went down at eight thirty. Anna was a bit stroppy but she's ok. Jamie’s in Evan’s room”

“I better go get him” Kris said, leaving Adam to chat with his mother. Evan’s room was dim, the dolphin night light casting an eerie blue light over their sleeping forms. Jamie didn’t even stir when he picked him up. 

“I’ll see you soon Adam” he said quietly when they were out at the car, Leila was standing in the doorway. Adam smiled. 

“Thanks for tonight. I’ll see you soon” 

Kris gave his hand a squeeze before he headed off down the drive, already thinking about where he would take Adam next time.


	10. 10

The next time they went out together, Kris found himself at one of the clubs in town, attempting to dance. He’d never been very good at it, lacking the natural grace that Adam seemed to possess. The music was loud, the beat pumping through their bodies and the strobe lights flickering over the mass of swaying people on the floor. 

Adam wrapped his arms around Kris, pulling him to the front of his body and rocking his hips. Kris closed his eyes, loving having Adam this close. In the short time they’d known each other, they’d developed a close friendship that had real potential to be something deeper. 

“Having fun?” Adam said in his ear, his hands still skimming the front of his body. Kris wished fervently that Adam’s hands would dip lower, but he didn’t want to push things. 

He nodded, turning his head to place a quick kiss on Adam’s cheek. “Yeah”

Adam took hold of his hand and led them toward one of the tables in the back. Each table was hidden from the dance-floor by beaded curtains or drapes, and the whole place had the feel of a Middle Eastern brothel. Adam pulled their curtain closed before joining Kris on the couch, pulling him closer for a kiss that quickly turned hungry. Adam’s hands trailed paths of fire across Kris’s body, and his lips were everywhere. 

Kris moaned a little when Adam concentrated on a particular spot just behind his ear, flicking his tongue again and again over it, delighting in making Kris whimper. 

“I thought…we were supposed…to be taking this slow” Kris murmured breathlessly, limp under the attention he was receiving. 

“I know” Adam said, his own voice slightly hoarse. 

Kris sat up. ‘Lets get out of here, go see a movie or something. We can still catch the late session”

Adam nodded and they left quickly, heading down the street to the movie theatre. After a brief argument over who would pay, (which Adam won), they took their seats in the back and settled down to watch the film. 

Halfway through the movie Adam started to yawn and Kris gently brought his head down onto his shoulder and slipped an arm around him. He watched the movie in silence before he felt Adam stir and reach for his phone. 

“Yeah? Mom I’m in a movie, what’s up?” he whispered. 

“Ok, yeah we’re coming now. See you soon” he said again. 

“Anna’s sick, just started throwing up” he explained once they’d left the room. Kris nodded and followed him out to the car. 

“Hopefully Jamie won’t catch it too. That stomach bug spreads like wildfire” Kris said, thinking aloud as Adam drove through the streets back to his home. 

“Yeah, Anna said something about one of the other girls going home sick the other day”

Leila greeted them once they’d pulled up to the house. 

“”Sorry guys, Anna really wants her Papa right now. She’s in her room”

Kris followed them inside and found Jamie waiting in the living room. He didn’t look especially pale, but Kris checked him over anyway. 

“Dad I’m ok” Jamie said, batting away his hands. 

“Just making sure buddy” 

Adam returned from the bedroom then, looking relieved. 

“She seems to be ok, doesn’t have a fever or anything. Maybe she’s just tired”

“Or ate too much cake” Leila suggested. 

Adam nodded. “Anyone want coffee?”

Kris was tempted, after all anything that prolonged the exposure to Adam was a bonus, but Jamie looked tired and it was way past his bedtime. 

“We should head off, get this one to bed” he said, slipping an arm around Jamie’s shoulder. 

“That’s cool. I’m kinda tired, I’ll see you sometime during the week” Adam said, poking his mother in the side as he walked past, following Kris to the front door. 

“Don’t get sick” Kris whispered, winking suggestively. Adam grinned. 

“What happens if I do?” he called, folding his arms across his chest. 

“I’ll just have to come over and play Doctor” Kris gave him another suggestive glance before heading off down the drive, blinking the front lights as he went.


	11. 11

As it turned out, Anna wasn’t really sick, she’d just eaten too much cake and it hadn’t agreed with her. She spent most of Sunday morning lazing around the house, being especially clingy and following Adam around like a shadow. 

“Are you sure you’re not sick sweetie?” Adam asked, bending down to feel her forehead again. Anna shook her head and flopped back onto the lounge, fixing her eyes on the movie playing on the flat-screen. 

“I’m fine Papa”

“That’ll teach you to stuff your face” Evan piped up, dodging the pillow that was thrown. It missed him, but knocked the coffee table, dislodging one of the crystal ornaments resting there. It fell to the floor, smashing into a million pieces. 

“Good one butthead!” Evan yelled, reaching down to pick up the shattered glass. 

“Evan leave it alone! I’ll get the dust pan, don’t touch it either of you” Adam said firmly, retrieving the dust pan and cleaning up the mess. 

“Was that Dad's?” Anna asked quietly. Adam nodded, trying to ignore the lump in his throat. It still amazed him that after two years he could be reduced to tears over something like this. 

“It’s ok, it was an accident” he said softly, heading into the kitchen. After dumping the mess he brushed aside the stray tears that had fallen onto his cheeks and sucked in a deep breath. Brad had bought that little ornament after seeing it in the window of an antique shop. He’d liked the way it had sparkled, and it had been theirs ever since. 

“I’m sorry” Anna said softly from the doorway. She was clutching the pillow to her chest and looked a little tearful. 

“It’s ok honey, you just have to be more aware of what you’re doing” 

“Evan makes me so mad sometimes” 

Adam chuckled. “I know, you just have to ignore him”

Anna nodded and went back out to the living room. Adam heard them talking quietly together and started searching for something for dinner. This was easily his least favourite time of day, the time he missed Brad the most. He tried not to let it get him down, but sometimes he couldn’t help the wave of sadness that washed over him. 

Just then the home phone rang, startling him out of his melancholy thoughts. 

“Hello Adam speaking” he answered, leaning in the doorway, keeping an eye on the kids, who were now fighting over which program to watch. 

“Hi, it’s Kris how are you?” 

“I’m good, you? What have you been upto?” Adam smiled to himself, feeling some of his tension leak away as Kris’s voice washed over him. He knew it was ridiculous to feel this way after only a short while, but he did.

“Just work and stuff with Jamie. Are you ok? You sound funny” 

Adam nodded, even though he knew Kris couldn’t see him. “Yeah I’m ok, just tired”

“Are you and the kids free on Friday? Jamie wants to go swimming at the beach, and of course he wanted his new best friend there” 

“Sure that’d be nice. Do you want to take some food?”

“Yeah, sure I’ll get some food and you can bring some drinks”

Turning away from the kids for a moment Adam went back to the kitchen, still talking to Kris. Eventually though, the sound of the kids fighting drew him back to the living room. 

“Hey! Kris I have to go, they’re tearing each other apart, I’ll talk to you soon” 

“Guys! Stop it, give me that remote, what happened to the Simpsons?” Adam asked, holding the remote out of reach. Evan was crouched in front of the DVD player, while Anna was holding one of her DVD’s. 

“What’s going on huh?” 

Evan scowled. “I don’t want to watch Barbie movies”

“I want to watch it” Anna announced, clutching the DVD to her chest. 

“I don’t think anyone will be watching anything right now. Dinner’s going to be ready soon, so why don’t you both go and get cleaned up” Adam said, gently ushering them both toward the bathroom down the hall. 

By the time they returned the table was set and their dinner was waiting. As usual Evan poked listlessly at his greens, making a face. 

“Just eat it Evan” Adam ordered, not in the mood. He was still upset over what had happened before, and just felt out of sorts with everything. 

“But I hate broccoli. It makes me sick” 

Adam scoffed, “I don’t think so buddy. It stops you from getting sick because it’s so full of vitamins”

They ate in silence before Anna spoke up. “Have you written any more songs for your CD?”

“Yeah, just one more. We’re going to start working on it soon”

“When do you go back to work?” Anna asked, her eyes on him. He knew that after these couple of weeks, he’d be back at work making the three hour drive everyday to the studio in LA. 

“I go back in 2 weeks sweetie. Not for a while” he reassured her. 

“I hate it when you’re away’ Evan said, still pushing his food around the plate. Adam noticed he’d at least eaten one piece of broccoli. 

“I know” he said softly, not really knowing what else to say. He hated being away from them, but loved his music. Since Brad’s death he’d tried to stay as close as possible, knowing the kids needed that support. 

“Can we go watch TV now?”

“Sure, no more fighting though ok?”

They nodded and trotted off to the living room, leaving Adam with the dishes and the clean-up. His thoughts turned again to Kris and the upcoming beach trip. It had been a while since he’d been to the beach, and he knew why. He had to admit, his own body hang-ups had often stopped him from ever wanting to go there. It had also been one of Brad’s favourite places to visit. 

Once the kids were in bed, Adam ran a hot bath and spent a good hour soaking in the sweet-scented bubbles, trying to ease away the ache in his chest. He eventually fell into bed around 11, his mind whirling with images of Brad and Kris.


	12. 12

Kris spent that week like any other, keeping busy with his jobs at the coffee house and performing at the club in town. The manager there seemed really happy with how many customers he brought in, which in turn made Kris happy. Adam had been a little distant all week, but Kris wasn’t too worried, he felt sure an afternoon at the beach would benefit them all. 

Jamie was bouncing when they pulled into the small car space just off the road. He unpacked the small hamper he’d brought, filled with a few supplies and things for dinner. They still had a couple of hours of daylight left, and since it was fairly warm he felt sure they would be staying for a little while. 

“There’re not here yet!” Jamie yelled, balancing on the wooden railing of the fence that led down to the ocean. 

“That’s ok Jamie, they probably just got caught up with something”

Just as he finished talking he saw Adam’s Mercedes pull into the lot. The music was blaring and Evan had his head out the window. 

“Hey!” he screeched, leaping out of the car. He had a floppy yellow hat on and a rash shirt to protect his skin from the sun. He and Jamie raced off down to the water, after strict instructions not to go in yet. 

“Hey” Kris said once he reached Adam, standing up to kiss him softly. 

“Hey you” Adam murmured, deepening the kiss and sliding his arms around him, holding him close. 

“Where’s Anna?” Kris asked once they’d separated. He was still holding onto Adam’s hand, of course and once they’d grabbed everything, they headed down to the water. 

“She’s at a friend’s house. Apparently playing dolls sounds better than swimming” Adam said, swinging their joined hands. 

“Busy week?” Kris asked, his eyes on the two younger boys who were at the water’s edge. 

Adam sighed. “Yeah, between working on the album, keeping the kids occupied and setting up for the new EP, I don’t know what day it is”

“I thought you were having time off?”

Adam looked a little sheepish. “Yes well, one thing you will come to know about me is that I don’t do well with nothing to do. I like being busy”

“And an EP?” Kris continued, setting up a few beach towels so they could sit down. Adam nodded, reaching for some sun-block. 

“Yep, just a few tracks. We’re thinking of something acoustic, you know, change it up a bit”

“Nice” Kris said, slipping his shirt off. The bare sand felt nice between his toes, and he took a deep breath of the salty air. 

“Yes it is” Adam said, gazing appreciatively at his chest. Kris laughed, unable to stop the blush from rising to his cheeks. 

“Oh come on, your turn. I’m sure you’ve got a hot ass body under there” he joked, tugging at the singlet Adam had on. 

Adam squealed and wriggled away, “No way!” 

“Can I at least help you out there?” Kris asked, gesturing to the sun-block. 

“Ok, but no peeking” Adam said. 

Kris sat behind him, placing a gentle kiss on Adam’s shoulder. “You’re beautiful” 

Adam blushed and Kris rubbed the lotion onto the exposed parts of his back, making sure to cover everything. Adam’s skin was so fair he would surely burn to a crisp. It also gave Kris a good chance to examine all the freckles Adam had, his skin was covered with them. 

“”Boys! Come up here!” Adam yelled, using his impressive lung power to get their attention. 

Kris made sure Jamie had plenty of sun-block before letting them go again, following at a more sedate pace, still hand in hand with Adam. 

The water was cool and sweet against their bodies as they swam out, going a little deeper than the two boys, but still keeping an eye on them. For the most part Evan and Jamie were content to splash in the shallows and build sand castles, leaving Adam and Kris alone. 

“Ugh, I can’t stand out here” Kris said, bobbing in the deeper water. Adam was floating on his back, eyes closed. Kris grabbed his leg, and pulled him closer, using him like a flotation device. 

“That’s better” he chuckled as Adam faced him.

“Are you ok?”

Kris nodded, not really liking the deeper water, but happier now that Adam had hold of him. Adam held him close, and Kris slipped his legs around the other mans waist, his arms resting on Adams shoulders. 

“Ah the joys of being tall” he said, watching the boys on the shore. 

Adam smiled. “This is nice”, he said, jiggling up and down which caused a pleasant friction where their bodies met under the water. 

Kris groaned softly and rested his head on Adam’s shoulder, fighting the urge to reach down and touch himself. He could feel himself growing harder, and apparently Adam could too. 

“Mhmm, what’s this?” Adam whispered, smirking as he reached down and cupped Kris’s ass, holding him flush against his body. 

“Oh God” Kris said, wriggling against him, trying to ease the delicious ache in his cock. Adam chuckled throatily and kissed his neck, biting down gently. His other hand snaked its way between their bodies and played along the waistband of Kris’s shorts. 

“This is so inappropriate” Kris whispered, thrusting up against Adam’s hand. 

“I know” Adam giggled, tearing his eyes away to glance back at the shore. 

“Kris where are the boys?”

Kris’s head snapped up, eyes keenly scanning the shoreline. An icy finger of fear slid its way down his spine before he spotted the boys playing in the rock pools. 

“It’s ok, they’re playing in the rock pools. Over there see?”

Adam let out a breath. “Thank God”

Together, their steamy mood forgotten, they swam back to the shore and went over to the boys, who were oblivious to everything around them. 

“Look at this Dad” Jamie held up a star-fish. 

“That’s pretty cool”

“Can we keep him?” Evan asked, looking to Adam. 

“Don’t you think he’d be happier in the water with all his friends?”

Evan blinked and looked back down into the pool. He seemed deep in thought before turning back to the others. 

“Lets leave him here”

“Do you guys want something to eat?” Kris asked, laughing as the boys nodded vigorously. They all headed back to the towels and sat down, tucking in to the food Kris had brought. 

“Can we go play now?” Evan asked after he’d eaten. Adam nodded. 

“Just wait a while before you go back in the water!” he called, making sure they heard him before he flopped back down onto the towel. The sun was setting over the horizon, and the streaks of golden light added to the warmth. 

“I listened to your CD by the way” Kris stated, lying back against the sand. 

“You did?”

“Yep. It’s fucking awesome” 

Adam laughed and rolled over, lying closer. He ran a hand over Kris’a abs, admiring the tight muscle. He himself was by no means fat, but he’d never had a body like this. 

“I mean it, it rocks. Wish I could have gone to some of your shows” Kris sat up, looking down into Adam’s face. He kissed him softly, and it was then, in the still quietness of the twilight that they heard the unmistakable clicking of a camera. 

Adam sat up slowly, squinting into the trees. He spotted the pap almost instantly, nestled away near their camp. 

“Fuck my life man. We’d better get out of here” he said ruefully. 

Kris packed up their stuff, thinking aloud. “Does this happen often?”

Adam hesitated. “Often enough”

By the time they’d finished the kids had wandered up, looking disappointed to leave. 

“I don’t want to go yet” Evan whined, kicking at the sand. 

“I know buddy, but we’ve got to pick up Anna. We can come back another day, the beach will always be here” Adam said, reaching for his hand. He’d always felt a strong protective urge around his kids when the paps were near, and wanted nothing more than to get the hell away from them. 

“Is that a camera?” Jamie asked as they walked back up to the cars. Kris shushed him, not really sure of what to do. This sort of stuff only happened to movie stars, or rock stars…

“You guys should just go to the car.” Adam said, his expression closed off and guarded, hidden behind dark glasses. 

“Sure, I’ll see you soon?” Kris asked, smiling when Adam’s expression softened. 

“Of course. I had fun today” he squeezed his hand before they set off, heads ducked against the camera flash. 

Kris and Jamie sidled off to their own car, managing to keep away from the TMZ guy. Kris lingered at his door for a moment, watching Adam interact with the guy. He could hear what was being said, and was curious as to what the pap would ask him. 

“How you doing tonight Adam? Just hanging at the beach with some friends? You two looked pretty cosy out there man, is he your new boyfriend?”

Kris gaped, feeling as though he just wanted to smack the guy in the face. Adam didn’t react though, just kept going about his business getting the small cooler he’d brought into the back of the car. 

“Is he your first boyfriend since Brad? It’s been like two years since he died right?”

Even though Adam didn’t say anything, Kris noticed the stiffening of his shoulders as he politely tried to get to the drivers side. Finally he was in and Kris felt safe enough to leave. It wasn’t like he could have done anything anyway, but he didn’t like to leave Adam to deal with that alone. 

“So I guess Adam’s a huge rock star then?” Jamie asked as they were driving home. Kris nodded. 

“Yeah, I guess so” he said aloud, while inside he was wondering what exactly he’d gotten himself into.


	13. 13

By the next day the photo’s were all over every tabloid in the area. Adam felt slightly sick when he saw the trashy headlines. After a few tense calls from his manager and the record label he managed to assure them that things were fine, and that it wouldn’t interrupt the recording process once he got back into it. He also got the kids to switch off the television, mainly because Anna had been complaining about the photos all morning. 

It was mid-morning when his mother called, inquiring about the photos. 

“Yeah, I know. I know Mom. It’s all going to blow over in a couple of days surely. I’ll just lay low…”

“Don’t you think you should talk to Kris about this? He’s surely not used to photographers wanting his picture”

“I know, I will” Adam said softly, wondering if Kris was ok with having his face all over the magazines. He’d already received a few calls from the tabloids wanting an interview, but he’d politely refused. Hopefully Kris wasn’t getting hounded. 

Anna and Evan busied themselves for most of the day, staying away from the television for once and doing other things. They were curious about the fuss, but Adam didn’t really want to discuss it any more than was necessary. The kids had been pretty good about it, having grown used to their famous father long ago. 

The sun was setting over the horizon when Adam received a phone call that was far more upsetting than any photo that had been taken. It was Brad’s mother. 

“I see you’ve moved on fast. How long has my son been in the ground now?” she said by way of greeting. Adam’s heart fell and he braced himself for what was surely going to be a difficult conversation. 

“Two years” he replied. 

“Do you miss him?”

“Of course I do”

She snorted. “You certainly have a funny way of showing it Adam. Cavorting around with someone in full public display. You obviously have no problem with showing off in public, but we all knew that. Even Brad”

Adam frowned, but knew it was a pointless fight. They’d had this argument countless times since Brad had died. Every time Helen had made him feel like an absolute monster. 

“I don’t particularly want to talk about this with you Helen. Yes the photos were taken but I certainly didn’t mean for them to be. We were just having fun at the beach”

“Do your children know how close you’ve become to this other man? Do they know you’re trying to replace my son?”

Adam sighed, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks at her words. He definitely wasn’t trying to replace Brad; he still missed him every day. 

“Does this other man even know about Brad?”

Adam bit his lip, realising he’d never actually spoken to Kris about Brad. Of course he’d meant to, but it wasn’t exactly easy for him to talk about. 

“I thought so. Your definition of love…” 

Adam slammed the phone down on the bench, ending her tirade. He swiped brutally at his cheeks, trying not to let Helen’s words get to him any more. Calls like that had sadly become fairly frequent since he’d lost Brad. Helen just couldn’t seem to understand that it wasn’t Adam’s fault, and because he blamed himself, he couldn’t get past it either. 

After all, he’d been the one driving the car.


	14. 14

Photographers followed Kris around for the majority of the next week, wanting every detail about him and his life. It was very distracting, especially when he knew they were just lurking around the corner, or just outside the gate. He sent Jamie off to a friend’s house for the day, telling him to just ignore any attention directed his way. Jamie didn’t seem to mind any of it, but he picked up on his father’s anxiety, fidgeting nervously on the drive. 

Once Jamie was out of the house Kris texted Adam, wanting to know what exactly was going on. After about ten minutes, Adam got back to him. 

_‘Come over…’_

Kris smiled, pleased at the thought of seeing Adam again, before changing clothes and heading out. There was one last photographer outside his house who tried to get a few answers out of him again as he left, and once again Kris smiled and shook his head, determined to ignore it all. 

Just as he reached the large security gate surrounding Adam’s home he saw Leila’s car pull out, the two kids in with her. He smiled and waved, but thought it was a little odd for her to be taking the kids on a weeknight. 

He could hear music playing softly as he reached the front door, and only had to wait a moment before Adam let him in. He looked tired and worn out, and Kris was alarmed when he hugged him tightly, burying his face in his shoulder. 

“Hey, you ok?” Kris asked softly, running a hand through Adam’s ebony hair. 

“I don’t know” 

Kris pulled him to the lounge, bringing Adam’s head down to rest on his chest. He continued to idly stroke Adam’s hair, lightly scratching the scalp. 

“What’s the matter?”

Adam sighed. “Oh nothing really, just all the paparazzi craziness. They’ve just been insane”

Kris smiled, relieved that that was all that was bothering him. 

“I know, they’ve been following me as well. Apparently I’m very interesting”

Adam rested his chin on Kris’s chest. “Well I think so”

They sat in silence for a moment before Kris asked the question that had been on his mind for the last week. 

“Adam who’s Brad?”

Adam flinched, his eyes closing briefly. Kris cupped his cheeks, gazing into his eyes. 

“You can tell me, it’s ok. It’s just that the photographers have been asking me about him all week, and I don’t even know who he is. I don’t want to pry but…”

“It’s ok” Adam said softly, sighing before resting his head back on Kris’s chest. 

Kris continued running his hands through Adam’s hair as he waited for him to speak. 

“Brad was my husband, he was the kids father”

“Was?” Kris said gently. 

“I lost him two years ago. We had a car crash”

Kris’s arms tightened around Adam. “I’m so sorry”

Adam sat up. “It’s fine, it was years ago” he said, aiming for nonchalance, but Kris saw the fine lines of pain around his eyes. If he had to guess, it was anything but fine. He sighed softly, not really knowing what to say. 

“I haven’t dated since then.” Adam said after a moment, holding Kris’s hand. 

“That’s why they were asking about him” Kris mused aloud, thinking about all the times he’d heard that name. 

“I’d understand if you wanted to back out now, I mean that’s probably something you’re going to have to deal with if you keep seeing me”

Kris pulled Adam back down onto his chest and lay down, kissing his forehead. 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily”

Adam smiled and leant forward to kiss him properly, his tongue lazily exploring Kris’s mouth. Kris moaned softly, his hands reaching under Adam’s grey t-shirt to trail along his stomach. 

“Lets go away together” Kris said breathlessly, squirming a little under Adam’s attention, which was now focussed on gently squeezing his burgeoning erection. Adam looked up, his eyes hazy. 

“What?”

Kris’s breath hitched. “I have a yacht, haven’t used it in a while but we should go, just the two of us”

“What about the kids?” Adam asked, sliding his leg in between Kris’s and focussing now on his collarbone. 

“They can stay with your mom, or my mom or whoever…uhh”

Adam bit gently on Kris’s collarbone and sucked at the spot for a moment. His other hand was perilously close to dipping into Kris’s boxers and Kris was almost desperate for him to, his body aching and quivering, his heart beating like a caged animal. 

“Don’t stop…” he whimpered, his hands cupping Adam’s ass, pressing their bodies together. They fit together perfectly, and Kris was just about to say so when the phone rang, shattering their mood. 

He groaned. “Don’t answer it”

Adam frowned and sat up. “It could be something important, I won’t be a sec” 

Kris grit his teeth as Adam walked to the phone, smiling smugly at his impressive erection. He still felt hot and ansty, and wondered briefly if Adam would mind him using the bathroom quickly. 

“Kris, the bathroom’s down the hall” he heard Adam call softly and gave him a thumbs -up before heading off down the tiled hallway into the main bathroom. 

After using the toilet he stared at himself in the mirror, taking in his rumpled clothes and mussed hair. His lips were slightly swollen and he looked like a sex- crazed teenager, but he didn’t care. He was falling hard, and he didn’t give a damn about what any tabloid said, or if his picture was taken on a daily basis. Adam was an amazing person, and he wasn’t going to let him go.


	15. 15

As Adam had promised the buzz surrounding them both had died down a few days later, the paparazzi now focussed on the next teen romance, or something or other. Kris was surprised to see he now had a few more audience members watching his performances during the week, and wondered if this fame thing was as bad as some people made it out to be. Of course he hadn’t dealt with it his whole life so he couldn’t really judge.

Four days before Adam was scheduled to go back to work on his next album, Kris was performing one night at his usual club when he spotted Adam in the audience. He was hanging near the back, so far going unnoticed amongst the crowd and Kris got a little nervous seeing him there. Although he’d heard tons of Adam’s music since he started dating him, Adam had yet to hear any of his, and he was a little anxious to see what he thought. 

He continued to sing, belting out a few covers and some of his original stuff, his eyes trained on Adam, who was now sitting at a table in the shadows. He felt a burst of confidence when Adam winked at him suggestively and finished his set with a flourish amid loud cheers and claps. 

Kris smiled and waved as he packed up his things and the crowd slowly died off, leaving him almost alone in the space. Another more well-known band was performing in the other section of the club, so the main crowd had moved off. 

“You were amazing” Adam said as he sauntered up. He was dressed casually but had spiced up his outfit with a black fedora set at a jaunty angle atop his head. 

“I didn’t know you were coming tonight” Kris said, blushing a little as he packed up. 

Adam stepped onto the stage and glanced around. “I thought I’d surprise you”

Kris smiled and stepped closer for a kiss. “I’m glad you did. What did you think?”

“Your voice is great, very mellow and chill. I love it” Adam said cupping his cheek briefly. Kris blushed at the praise and picked up his guitar case.

“So what did you want to do now?” Kris asked casually as they strolled through the club. Adam had slipped his hand into Kris’s back pocket and he gave his ass a squeeze as they walked. 

“Oh I can think of one thing I’d like to do” he said, swiftly steering him toward one of the back rooms past the stage. He pushed him up against the wall, kissing him suddenly and hungrily, his hands cupping and squeezing, driving Kris wild with want. 

“Oh,,,really?...” Kris panted, fumbling for the door handle that would give them access to a little more privacy. They practically fell into the small room, and Kris had only a moment to shut the door before Adam was on him again, licking and sucking, his cologne wafting around them in a haze of vanilla and spice. 

“Adam…do you really…want to…here?” Kris moaned breathlessly, his hands moulding around Adam’s bulging erection, wondering if they would go all the way tonight. He hadn’t really envisioned their first time together like this, but right now he didn’t really care. 

“I want to make you scream Kristopher” Adam whispered, his voice low and soft. He deftly unzipped Kris’s jeans and freed his cock, stroking his length as his tongue delved deeper into his mouth. The combined sensation made Kris’s knees weak and only his arm around Adam’s neck kept him standing. 

Adam continued stroking him, alternating between slow and fast before he dropped to his knees, a wicked smile on his swollen lips. Kris moaned and threw his head back as Adam sucked him down, his talented tongue swirling around his shaft. 

“Adam I’m going to…” Kris whimpered, shutting his eyes and fisting a handful of Adam’s hair. Adam hummed around him and scraped his teeth lightly along the underside of Kris’s cock, which was enough to send him over the edge. 

Adam swallowed him down before pressing a gentle kiss to the tip and standing up again, grinning as Kris kissed him again. 

“That was amazing” he said, voice slow and lazy, his arm still draped around Adam’s shoulder. 

“You are amazing,” Adam said fervently, “God when I saw you up there it was such a turn on. I’m sorry if this wasn’t how you wanted it to happen but I couldn’t help myself”

Kris laughed and pulled up his jeans before sliding his arms around Adam’s middle. “I don’t mind, as long as I can return the favour?”

Adam smiled. “Sure, you don’t have to though”

Kris shook his head and switched their positions, so that now Adam was the one against the wall. Kris started out gently, a little hesitantly, but soon gained ground, kissing and licking until Adam was almost incoherent. 

He teased him by dipping a hand low into Adam’s tight jeans, cupping his considerable length before taking his hand away, focussing instead on pulling the other man closer. Adam writhed against him, thrusting up and into the contact desperate for more. 

“Kris…please…” he panted, going still when he felt Kris’s hand ghost over his ribcage, and the scars he’d received in the accident. 

Kris didn’t seem to notice and kept going, his other hand hooked around Adam’s thigh, working on removing his jeans. Adam sucked in a breath as his jeans went, revealing the large scars on his thighs. Suddenly he wasn’t aroused anymore, he just wanted to cover up. 

“Kris stop, please” he said, his voice shaky. 

Kris stopped immediately, his eyes concerned. “What is it? Did I hurt you?”

Adam shook his head and Kris glanced down, noticing the marks on his legs for the first time. 

“Oh my God…Adam what happened?”

Adam shook his head again and reached for his jeans, pulling them up over his hips, covering the ugly marks. They were a constant reminder that he’d been the one to kill Brad: it had been his fault. 

Kris reached for his hand, holding it tightly. “The accident?”

Adam nodded, his throat tight and hot, tears prickling behind his eyes. He didn’t want to cry, but the soft sympathy in Kris’s eyes almost broke his resolve. 

“Hey now, come here” Kris murmured softly sliding his arms around him and hugging him tightly, rubbing soft circles on his back as his shoulders trembled. 

He shushed him quietly, his voice soothing and calming, a balm to Adam’s jangled nerves and that was all it took to make the tears fall, his hand pressed tightly to his mouth so no-one would hear. 

“Don’t cry honey” Kris whispered, his own throat tight as Adam cried, great hiccoughing sobs that shook his whole body. 

“I’m s-sorry,” Adam sobbed, clinging to Kris and wiping furiously at his eyes. Kris held him close, resting his chin atop his head. 

“I d-don’t know why I’m u-upset,” Adam stammered, “it’s crazy”

“Shhh, it’s not crazy, you’re ok I’ve got you” Kris whispered, handing him a crumpled unused tissue from his pocket. 

Gradually Adam’s sobs quieted and he let Kris gently wipe his eyes, trying not to smudge his already ruined eyeliner. He re-buttoned his shirt and blew his nose before Kris asked. 

“You ok?”

Adam shrugged. “Yeah, guess so. I don’t know why I’ve just been so up and down lately”

“Maybe it’s because you’re dating again, you said the other day you haven’t dated since Brad, so it’s bound to open it all up again” Kris thought aloud, wondering. 

Adam nodded. “Maybe that’s it”

They sat quietly for a few moments, listening to the sounds of the club around them. It sounded as though things were winding down for the night, Kris could hear the bar tenders cleaning up. 

“How’d you get out here?”

Adam reached for his fallen fedora. “Caught a cab”

Kris stood up, offering his hand. “Want me to drive you home?”

Adam smiled gratefully and stood up, hugging the smaller man to him. “Thanks Kris”


	16. 16

Adam missed Kris while he was at work, the long hours in the studio were great, but he missed Kris’s easy company and the time they would spend together. The weather was getting colder now as they approached Christmas, but Adam didn’t feel much different, he’d never really liked the holiday season much, he’d lost Brad in late November, so it was always a rough time of year. 

Fortunately though Kris managed to cheer him up on an almost daily basis, sending little texts or calling during the day to make him feel special. Their little yacht trip had been pencilled in for the summer months, which gave them both some quality time for work. 

The album was coming along beautifully, each track special in it’s own way and Adam felt good that they were on schedule for a late winter or early summer release. It was late one afternoon when it was announced that the album was complete, all that needed to be done now was the cover art, publicity and general touching up.. Everyone was just packing up when Adam suggested a little party at his place so they could all hear the finished product. 

“Sure man, sounds great” Tommy-Joe, his bassist nodded eagerly as he helped clean up. 

Isaac his drummer and Monte his lead guitarist also agreed, and they all decided to meet up on the weekend. 

“It might also be a good time for you to meet someone I’ve been seeing a lot of” Adam said, reaching for his coat and feeling a little burst of butterflies. Even though he’d been seeing Kris for a month or so now, he hadn’t officially introduced him as his boyfriend. 

“Oh man, I knew you were seeing someone. Who is he?” Tommy asked slapping his arm and winking. They’d developed a very close relationship over the years they’d been working together, and Tommy was one of his dearest friends. 

“His name is Kris, and that’s all I’m going to say because you will meet him on the weekend. You have to be nice” Adam said archly, laughing at the look on Tommy’s face. 

“I’m always nice Baby Boy”

“Yeah sure” Isaac grinned. 

“You guys suck” Tommy pouted as they all laughed harder, he sidled up to Adam and hugged him. 

“I’m happy for you” 

Adam hugged him. “Thanks”

Once they were all packed up they left the studio, each heading their separate ways with a promise to meet up on the weekend. Adam turned up the heat inside the car and began the drive back to Monterey, wondering if it would be better for his little family to just move to LA. 

The house was quiet when he pulled up and he noticed the babysitter Harriet bustling in the kitchen when he came in. 

“Hi Adam, I’m just getting started on the kids lunches for tomorrow” she announced once she saw him. He slipped off his jacket and joined her in the kitchen, filling the jug for a cup of tea. 

“How’s everything?” he asked, reaching for two cups and pouring them each some tea. He kicked off his shoes and sat back, watching her slice the bread. 

“Everything’s fine. They went off to bed at 8 and I haven’t heard a peep since. I just thought I’d get started on this before I head off. You going back to LA in the morning?”

Adam shrugged. “I don’t think so, we’re finished up with the album now, so I guess I can stay here tomorrow”

“Cool, can’t wait to hear it, your last one was awesome” Harriet said. 

“Thanks, you can head off now if you want, I can finish up here” Adam said, gently pushing her out of the way and reaching for the butter knife. Harriet grinned. 

“Thanks. Let me know if you need anything else, and tell the kids I’ll see them soon” she said, grabbing her coat and heading off to her car. Adam watched while she drove off before turning back to the kid’s lunches. 

He worked solidly for about an hour before he started yawning, and decided to look in on the kids before heading to bed. Anna was fast asleep, curled around her diary and Evan never stirred as Adam tucked him in. Thank God the album was finished, and he could spend some more time with them.

Once he was finished with the lunches he packed up the kitchen before showering quickly and falling into bed. His eyes were just drifting shut when he felt the mattress dip and two little figures crawl in with him, curling their little hands around his pyjamas. 

“Hey guys” he whispered, holding them both close. Evan kissed his cheek. 

“I missed you Papa” 

“Me too” Anna said, snuggled in on his other side, her hair tickling his chin. 

“I missed you too, but guess what? I don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow. I can take you to school and pick you up”

“Yay” both kids chimed as Adam pulled the blanket up over them. The trio all snuggled down together, and Adam felt his heart swell, pure contentment washing over him as he drifted to sleep.


	17. 17

Adam was still tired in the morning, and despite feeling pretty miserable, he managed to drop the kids off at school and head down to the little coffee shop where Kris worked. It was fairly quiet this time of morning and he took his drink and went to sit at his favourite booth in the back, watching Kris work for a bit. 

It didn’t take long for Kris to notice him and the excitement on his face made Adam grin. 

“Hey baby” Kris hugged him tightly, inhaling his cologne. 

“God I missed you, it feels like I haven’t seen you in years” he murmured, his face buried against Adam’s chest. 

“It was only last weekend, but I know what you mean” Adam said, holding the other man close, loving the way they fit together. It was strange, but whenever they were apart it felt as though a piece of him was missing, it was almost a constant ache that only dissipated when Kris was with him. 

“How long have you got off?” Kris asked, sliding into the booth next to him. It was quiet enough that he could take a moment off. 

Adam shrugged. “Well the album’s done, we just need to sort out some artwork and get some publicity going”

“That’s great, it’s going to be awesome”

Adam smiled. “Speaking of, I’m having a little ‘listening’ party tomorrow night at my place so we can all hear it. I really want you to be there”

“Cool, who else is coming?”

“My band, Tommy, Monte, Isaac, a couple of other people. Lee and Alisan and Danielle, it’s not going to be a big one, I just want everyone to hear it”

Kris smiled, pleased that he would be meeting some of Adam’s friends. 

“Lets get out of here, go somewhere. My shift is just about over anyway” he suggested, pulling Adam to his feet. 

They headed off down the main street, swinging their joined hands and just enjoying each other’s company. Kris informed him of the things he’d missed at baseball, and that he as now acting as a sort of second coach to the kids. 

“Evan’s doing so well, he’s going to make the next game for sure. A couple of the other kids have really dropped off now that it’s getting closer to the holidays, and he really wants you to see him play” Kris said as the passed a few shops. 

“That’s great, I really want to watch him he’s been saying how much you’ve helped him out”

“Jamie’s in the school play too of course, that’s on Wednesday night. Anna’s only missed one rehearsal last week when she got sick, but you know that of course” 

Adam nodded, feeling a bit inadequate as Kris rattled off all the things the kids had been up to. He’d tried to be there for as much as he could, but it was difficult trying to balance everything out. Now that the album was done he would be launching into full publicity mode, and his manager had already scheduled many appearances at award shows and interviews that would take him away from the kids. Couple that with his least favourite time of year and Anna’s upcoming birthday and Adam was feeling a bit overwhelmed. 

“You’re very quiet” Kris said as they ate lunch in one of his favourite restaurants later that afternoon. 

“Yeah, I’m just tired I guess”

“Oh my parents want to know if you and the kids would like to have Christmas with us this year? They’re pretty excited to meet you”

“Sure sounds like fun. Your family is in Arkansas right?”

“Yep, it’s always a big family thing and you’ll fit in perfectly”

“Does it snow down there?”

Kris nodded. “Yeah Mama’s already saying it’s going to be a big snowfall this season. Why?”

Adam felt a little twist of unease at the thought of snow and ice and slippery road conditions. “I don’t really like the snow much”

“How could you not like the snow? It’s soft and pretty, it does get in the way though”

He took a breath, bracing himself. “The roads were icy the night I lost Brad”

Kris stopped dead, his breath lodged in his throat. Adam very rarely talked about that night, the pain still evident even after two years. 

“What happened?” he asked softly, grateful that they were tucked away in the back of the room away from prying eyes. 

Adam sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “A drunk driver crashed into us while we were on our way home, Brad was kinda drunk and mustn’t have been wearing his seat belt. He was thrown from the car and died pretty much on impact”

Tears pricked at his eyes but he blinked them away, trying not to remember the events of that night. What he hadn’t said was that Brad had died in his arms in the hour it took for the ambulance to reach them, and that he felt somehow responsible for his death. 

Kris reached for his hand. “That’s horrible”

“Yeah it was” Adam said faintly, remembering the glass in his legs and abdomen pushed deeper as he crawled to where Brad lay, the horrible stillness in his husbands body where he was crumpled on the roadside, the slickness of the blood on his hands as he cradled Brad, the life leaving him as they waited for what seemed like hours for help to come. 

“Why is this so hard?” he asked shakily, clinging to Kris’s hand like a life raft. 

Kris’s eyes were glassy as he shook his head. “It’ll get easier I promise. I’ll help you”

Adam nodded, feeling a little less lost as the warmth in Kris’s eyes washed over him. “Can we go home now?”

Kris nodded. “Sure let’s go”

***

They spent the afternoon together, relaxing in the hot tub nestled in the back of Adam’s home. Adam was quiet and subdued, obviously still struggling with everything. Kris just held him, pressing little kisses to his shoulder or cheek, or wherever he could reach. There wasn’t anything sexual in the way they lay together, each man just content to be close.

“Uh I don’t want to move” Kris said, letting the warm bubbles wash over him. Adam was resting on his chest, hazy with sleep, the black singlet he wore floating up on the water. 

Kris gently tugged on the fabric, hating the way Adam covered up. He gently moved the shirt up until almost all of Adam’s abdomen was revealed, his pale skin glistening with water. 

“Don’t” Adam murmured softly, reaching up to bring the shirt back down again. 

“Hey,” Kris whispered softly, his hand still on the shirt, “you have nothing to be ashamed of, you’re gorgeous, talented, hot and sexy as hell”

Adam blushed but his hand wavered, floating on the water for a moment. Kris kissed him softly, his lips gentle. 

“Will you let me see? Nothing is going to turn me away, I promise, you’re beautiful”

Adam sniffed but nodded, letting Kris gently slip the singlet up and over his head, revealing all his body for the first time. His skin was pale and perfect, flawless and Kris took him in, the light smattering of hair on his chest, the thousands of freckles covering him, and the scars that lay on his abdomen and thighs. 

Slowly Kris leant down and kissed them, pressing his lips lightly to each spot. He could hear Adam breathing in short little gasps and looked up to see tears trembling in his eyes. 

“I love you” Kris said softly, not at all surprised the words fell from him. He’d felt this way for a while now, and was just waiting for the right time to say it. 

Adam looked a little shocked but Kris felt his lips move from where he lay nestled in his shoulder. 

“I love you too”


	18. 18

Kris and Jamie stayed for dinner that night and the house was once again filled with the sounds of laughter as the group made dinner together and sat around the large table in the dining room chatting about the day. 

The kids ran off to play after they’d eaten and Adam and Kris were left to clean up. Adam was still a bit surprised by his admission of love, but he didn’t disagree with it, in fact the more he thought about it, the more he realised he was in love with Kris. 

“What are you grinning about?” Kris asked, his hands buried in soapy water. 

“I don’t know, I just feel pretty good right now” Adam answered, stacking the plates in the cupboard. He did feel oddly light, as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 

“That’s good right?”

“Of course, I’d just like to know why”

Kris nudged his hip. “Maybe it’s me”

Adam laughed. “Oh you’re modest aren’t you? It probably is though, to be honest”

Kris waited, unsure of what to say. He felt very close to Adam after their moment in the spa, almost as though they were connected by an invisible gossamer cord that pulled and stretched: but never broke. 

“I don’t know, I’m just over-analysing stuff now” Adam said after a moment. He stared out at the courtyard outside, watching the wind sway the trees. Kris dried his hands and stood next to him, sliding an arm around him. 

“I’m so glad I met you”

Adam kissed him tenderly, cupping his cheek. “I’m glad I met you too”

They shared another kiss before the sound of squealing broke them apart.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Anna was screaming, before there was a sharp smack and another cry. 

“Hey! What’s going on?” Adam asked once they’d reached the bedroom. Anna was standing on her bed, her fist raised while Jamie was clutching his arm and Evan was trying to find something on the ground. 

“Anna hit me!” Jamie cried, running over to Kris and hiding dramatically behind him. 

“Anna! Apologise this instant, why would you do something like that?” Adam scolded, his arms folded. Kris inspected Jamie’s arm, only to find a small red mark. 

“He put a spider in my hair” Anna said, her lip trembling. 

“He’s over here Papa” Evan said, and sure enough a big black spider ran out across the carpet. 

Adam jumped onto the chair and fought the urge to scream like a girl, he’d never been good with creepy crawlies. Kris laughed and quickly disposed of the spider, carrying him outside so no-one would step on him. 

“Are you going to say sorry for what you did?” Adam asked, once he’d regained a modicum of composure. Kris was still giggling behind him, which didn’t help things. Anna shook her head. 

“No I’m not”

“Well then you’ll have to stay in here until you do” Adam said firmly, heading for the door. 

Anna wailed. “But I want ice-cream!”

Adam shook his head. “I’m sorry young lady, but there’s no ice-cream for you. I’ve told you before we don’t hit our friends” 

“Jamie’s not my friend”

“That’s fine, but we don’t hit people. Any person” he stated, sensing an objection. 

Anna scrunched up her face and cried, stamping her foot. “I hate you!”

Adam shut the door leaving her to cry and scream in peace, and headed down the hall to where the others were around the table. 

“I’m sorry I did it Mr Lambert. I was only playing” Jamie said as soon as he sat down. 

Adam smiled. “That’s ok, no harm no foul”

“But you won’t be putting any spiders in anyone’s hair again will you?” Kris asked, patting his arm gently. 

“No”

“That’s good” he said, letting the boys run off to play again. 

The two adults sat quietly at the table for a moment before Kris started laughing. 

“Spiders? I had no idea”

Adam smacked him lightly. “Don’t get me started pocket man”

Kris raised an eyebrow. “Pocket man?”

“Yeah, cause you could probably fit in my pocket” Adam grinned before jumping away as Kris came after him. They chased each other around the living room before Kris finally caught him on the lounge. 

“Gotcha” he said, kissing him swiftly. Adam grinned. 

“I got you too”


	19. 19

Kris was a little nervous about meeting Adam’s friends on Saturday night. Sure he’d heard enough about them, but he still couldn’t contain the butterflies in his stomach. He had to admit Adam was a very glamorous man, so he was expecting his friends to be of the same ilk and wondered how he would fit in, a little country boy mixing with the sparkly elite. 

“Stop worrying will you, they’re going to love you” Adam said, his eyes trained on the mirror. Kris and Jamie had arrived a little early so they could all get organised together. 

Kris laughed nervously and picked aimlessly at his plaid shirt, his legs bouncing. 

“Are you sure I look ok?” he asked, sitting back on the closed toilet and trying not to throw up. 

Adam sighed and set down the mascara wand. “I told you before, you look great”

Kris shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe I should have gotten more dressed up. You are”

Adam shook his head, turning back to the mirror. “This is nothing, you should see what happens when I have to be somewhere public”

Kris nodded, recalling a few photo’s he’d seen on the internet of his glamorous boyfriend. Adam always looked immaculate, and even now when there were going to be no camera’s, he still looked hot, his jeans and vintage tee giving him a rakish rock-star look. 

“I feel like a country bumpkin” Kris said flatly, annoyed that he was so worked up over this. 

“Come here then” Adam ordered, opening one of the drawers in the vanity and riffling through the contents. He handed Kris a black leather bracelet with a small silver band running through it and a couple of plain silver rings. 

“What do you think now?”

Kris perused his reflection, liking the way the bracelet and rings made his hands look. He had to admit, he did look a little more dressed up, but still kind of casual. 

“Thanks”

Adam kissed him quickly, “Now will you please stop worrying?” 

Kris nodded. “Yes. I think I’ll go and help set up”

Adam pouted and pulled him closer. “You could help me instead”

Kris felt himself harden instantly, automatically angling himself closer, his hands resting on Adam’s hips. He’d always wanted him, but now he really wanted him. 

“I don’t really think that would be helping” he murmured, twisting his hips a little. 

Adam’s eyes fluttered for a moment. “Yes it would, they’re not going to be here for a while yet” 

“But I want you to myself for hours, who knows how long” Kris said suggestively. 

Adam hummed, his hand cupping Kris’s ass. “Can’t wait to be inside you”

Kris whimpered, his legs going a little weak. “Ok,” he said with effort, “we need to stop or else Ill need another shower”

“I don’t wanna”

Kris pushed him away gently, turning to leave the room. “Continue beautifying yourself, I’ll be out here”

“Spoil sport”

Kris stuck his tongue out, blushing a little at the lewd gesture Adam made, before he headed out to the main part of the house. Anna was talking on the phone with someone, looking a little perturbed to be interrupted. 

“Where’s Papa?” she asked. 

“In the bathroom, I can go get him if you want?”

“No, I know where it is, this is my house” she answered, brushing past him. Kris shook his head and continued on to the kitchen, making sure all the food was prepared and the place was tidy. Harriet the baby sitter was fixing a plate of snacks for the kids in the kitchen and offered him a friendly smile. She’d be watching the kids so they wouldn’t get underfoot.

He was just about to check on the boys when the front doorbell rang. 

“Coming!” he heard Adam yell and was almost bowled over when a red-faced Anna ran past him. Adam checked himself once more in the hall mirror before he opened the door with a flourish to reveal a small, androgynous man with blonde hair. 

“Hey man, good to see you” Adam hugged him warmly and ushered him inside. 

“Tommy, I’d like you to meet Kris. Kris, this is Tommy-Joe Ratliff, my bassist” 

Kris smiled. “Nice to meet you”

“You too, Adam’s told me so much” Tommy said, grinning. 

“He has?”

Adam laughed and gently pushed in. “I haven’t, Tommy’s just stirring, I told you to be nice”

Tommy smirked. “I always am. It’s great to finally meet you Kris, I’m only messing with ya”

Kris grinned and they all went to the kitchen to grab a drink. Adam brought an almost continuous stream of people inside, introducing them all to Kris. He was a generous and charming host, and Kris wasn’t surprised to see how well he was liked. 

Kris was introduced to all of Adams friends, but found himself seeking out the quiet company of Tommy-Joe the most. He was so easy to talk to, and it was obvious he loved working with Adam. Even Adam’s brother Neil came, with his girlfriend Trish and the house was loud with the sounds of merriment. 

Once everyone had a drink and some food Adam sat them all down in the living room, around the stereo system. 

“Ok guys, just let me know what you think huh?”

He clicked ‘play’, then came to sit next to Kris, slipping an arm around him and placing his hand on his knee. It was a blatantly possessive move, but Kris didn’t care, happy just to relax and listen to the music. 

They listened to the album two or three times, discussing and analysing each track and bouncing around ideas for the artwork. Kris didn’t contribute much, but was happy to learn that the art would be done by the man responsible for some of his favourite photos of Adam, Lee Cherry. 

It was well past midnight when everyone left, filtering out of the house and down to their parked cars rather noisily. Kris was feeling a little buzzed, whatever drink Adam had fixed for him was stronger than he thought. 

“Did you have fun?” Adam asked from his position on the couch, he’d fallen into a heap after everyone had left. One foot was up on the coffee table and he was playing with the soft hair on Kris’s nape. 

Kris nodded. “Yeah I did actually, your friends are cool”

“That’s good” Adam said drowsily, his eyes closed. 

“I better get going then” 

“Will you stay tonight?”

Kris hesitated, unsure of what to say. He couldn’t think of anything better than drifting to sleep wrapped in Adam’s arms, but was worried about what the kids would think in the morning. 

“We don’t have to do anything, I’m kinda wiped. I just thought it might be nice” Adam continued, picking up on his hesitation. 

“What would the kids say?”

Adam sat up. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that”

Kris nodded. “Tell you what. Katy said she wants to take Jamie to see his grandparents next weekend. They’ll be gone the whole time. I can come over then”

Adam smiled. “I’m sure the kids wouldn’t mind a trip to their grandma’s either”

Kris leant forward, kissing Adam softly. “Sounds like a plan”


	20. 20

Adam travelled back to LA the following Monday and spent several days with Lee Cherry going over some of the ideas he had for the photo-shoot. They both agreed on something ultra glam, ultra sexy, but still classy and elegant. While Adam loved the cover for his first record, he had to admit it was a little campy, and he wanted to head in a different direction for the second one. 

His relationship with Kris had stayed out of the media, and nothing had happened since the beach photo’s, for which he was grateful. However it was award season, and he had scheduled appearances at the Golden Globes, and the Academy Awards that he had to fulfil. Both shows weren’t until January and February, but it was still in the back of his mind. He hadn’t said anything to Kris, but he wanted him there as his date for both events. 

Anna’s 9th birthday fell during that week also, and Adam was busy getting everything ready for his little girls big day. Anna had been somewhat difficult recently and Adam didn’t quite know how to deal with it, but he just kept things normal and told her she could invite who-ever she wanted to her party. 

“Are you coming to watch me in the school play tomorrow night?” Anna asked Tuesday afternoon. They were out shopping for a party dress, a little last minute, but Anna had decided that nothing in her wardrobe was suitable. 

“Of course I am honey, I wouldn’t miss it for the world” Adam answered, holding out a pretty blue dress with little white flowers on the collar. Evan stuck out his tongue and focussed on playing with the little truck he’d brought. 

“You missed my rehearsal last week” Anna pointed out, ignoring Adam’s choice and reaching for a pink sparkly dress with a rim of tulle that made the hem flare out. 

Adam sighed. “You know I didn’t mean to miss it sweetie, I got stuck in traffic”

Anna held the dress out to him. 

“Come on, let’s go try it on then. Evan come here” Adam led the kids over to the change room and waited while Anna tried the dress on, adjusting it properly once she came out. 

“I love it” Anna said, twirling in front of the mirror. Adam had to admit, it was a lovely dress and she looked lovely in it. 

“Ok then, lets get out of here and get back home. You told me you were going to show me one of your scenes tonight”

Anna shook her head. “I don’t want to anymore”

The kids ran off as soon as they were home, and Adam was temped to call Kris, but decided not too, instead calling his mother. 

“What are we doing for Thanksgiving?” he asked, flopping back onto the chaise longue in the study. 

“The usual, why? Did you want to do something else?”

“Yeah, I want to invite Kris and Jamie to our place”

Leila was silent on the other end of the phone. “Are you sure sweetie?”

“Yeah I am. He’s really special to me Mom, I want him there”

“How special?”

Adam sighed. “Mom, I love him. He makes me happy”

“You haven’t known him for very long”

Adam frowned, disappointed that his mother wasn’t as happy as he was about this. 

“I’ve known him for months now. What is your problem with this?”

Leila sighed. “I just don’t want you getting hurt again sweetie. It took you so long to get over Brad”

“I won’t, Kris is a really great guy. We just ‘get’ each other, he’s helped me through some tough times lately. I want him to share Thanksgiving with us, but I won’t ask him if you’re going to be weird about it” Adam snapped, angry that he had to defend his boyfriend to his mother. Of all people he thought she would be the happiest for him. 

“No, if you feel this strongly about him, then he should come. I’ve only met him once and he seemed ok”

“Are you going to be nice?”

“Yes Ad, I will be nice to him. Your father too”

“Thankyou. Now I have to go, I still have a few things to do for Anna’s birthday You’re coming right?”

“Yes I’ll be there. Is Kris coming?”

Adam shrugged. “I don’t know, probably. Oh and you’re taking the kids this weekend as well. They haven’t seen you for a while”

Leila laughed. “Spit it out Adam, you and Kris want some time alone. Fine, I’ll take the kids. Anything else?”

“No. I’ll see you on Thursday”

After he’d hung up he paced the house, still feeling angry about what his mother had said. Sure it had taken a while for him to start dating again, but anyone who’d lost a loved one didn’t jump immediately into the game. 

Pushing the thoughts from his mind, he decided to make a start on dinner, hoping that would clear his head. 

“Is Kris coming to my party?” Anna asked from her spot on the computer.

Adam shrugged. “If you want him too”

Anna shook her head. “I don’t want him too. I don’t like him”

“That’s fine. He doesn’t have to come”

“Won’t you be sad though?” Evan asked

“No I won’t be sad. Why would I be?”

Anna frowned. “You do everything with Kris. I’ve seen you kiss him the way you kissed Dad. Don’t you love him anymore?”

Adam’s heart constricted. “Of course I love your Dad. You know that”

“I saw Kris wearing your bracelet. Dad gave that to you”

“Anna I will always love your Dad don’t ever doubt that”

Anna turned back to the computer and didn’t speak again, leaving Adam with an aching throat and a heavy heart. He went back to chopping the vegetables for their dinner, wanting desperately to talk to Kris, but thought that might exacerbate the problem. 

They ate a quiet meal before the kids went off to bed without a fuss for once in their lives. Adam rattled round the house before finally deciding to have an early night himself, tucking himself into bed and staring at the clouds out his bedroom window.

***

_“I am so wasted” Brad giggled, bouncing in his seat. Adam glanced over and smiled, noticing his husbands flushed cheeks._

_“Great party though”_

_Brad smiled and leant back, his hand lazily playing with Adam’s hair. “Yeah, Danielle sure knows how to throw ‘em”_

_Suddenly Adam swerved, his Mustang skidding along the icy asphalt, dodging the cat that had streaked in front of them._

_“Holy Fuck” Brad said, his words ending in a giggle._

_Adam glanced over. “Put your seatbelt on”_

_“Nah, we’re only just up here. We’ll be home soon”_

_“Brad put your damn seatbelt on…”_

_His words were cut off as something solid slammed into them, sending the car spinning off the road and into the embankment. The windshield shattered, raining deadly shards on them as they rolled, finally coming to rest upside down._

_Adam came to upside down, held in place by his seatbelt, which was cutting off his circulation and making it hard to breathe. Blood ran into his eyes and he could see it dripping onto the roof of the car under him._

_“Brad!” he croaked, his voice hoarse and scratchy. His hands flopped down, reaching for his husband only to find empty air, and a pile of glass._

_“Brad!” he called again, his movements panicked. Where was he? Why wasn’t he in the car? Was he ok?_

_Adam grunted with effort as he tried to unfasten his seatbelt, his hands slick with blood._

_“Help!” he screamed, groaning and struggling as he tried to twist his way free. More glass fell down on him as he moved until finally his seatbelt gave way, dumping him on the roof of the car._

_He lay there for a moment, trying to get his bearings as pain lashed through him, when he heard a low moan that was eerily familiar. Peering out the windshield Adam saw a crumpled body lying meters away._

_“Brad! Brad!” he screamed, twisting his way through the broken glass, taking no notice as the shards embedded themselves in his abdomen and legs. He cried out as he stumbled to his feet, then promptly collapsed as he legs gave out, unable to support his weight._

_“Please be ok, please baby, please…” he whimpered as he crawled along the icy road, pulling himself inch by painful inch until he reached Brad’s body._

_“Adam…” Brad’s voice was frighteningly weak, his hand fluttering against the ground._

_“I’m here baby, I’m here. You’ll be ok” Adam said over and over, managing to sit up despite the pain lashing through him It was nothing to seeing the man he loved lying in a boneless, bloodied heap._

_“It hurts…” Brad whimpered, his breathing shallow and rapid, his face ashen. Tears stung Adam’s eyes, but he blinked them away, brushing the hair softly out of Brad’s eyes._

_“I’m g-going to call 911” he stammered, reaching for his phone and dialling, growing impatient when the dispatcher seemed to take forever to pick up._

_He gave his details and was promised an ambulance would be there as soon as possible, which was all he could hope for. Brad was still breathing, albeit slower now and there was a faint trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth._

_“We’ve just got to sit tight now, the ambulance is on it’s way” Adam said, trying to make his voice sound confident. Gently he cradled Brad in his arms and tried to comfort him, whispering gentle words and promises, anything to keep him focussed on staying alive._

_Rain started falling, the icy drops stinging his skin and making it even colder. He hoped desperately for another car to come along, but the roads were silent. The only sound was the ticking of his Mustang as the engine died: smoke billowing from the wreckage._

_“Adam…I love you” Brad whispered, a faint smile on his lips._

_“Don’t say that! No Brad please, you have to focus on me. Look at me, stay with me” Adam said frantically, cupping Brad’s face, hating how cold his skin was._

_“It hurts Ad-am…” Brad’s voice hitched and he grimaced in pain. Adam gripped his hand tighter and held on, praying that someone would be there soon._

_“Think about Evan and Anna huh? How excited they were when you jumped out of that box for Anna’s birthday. How much you love going to the beach with Evan”_

_Brad smiled softly. “He’s always scared of the deeper water”_

_Adam nodded. “Yeah he is, but you go in with him You keep him safe. He’s not going to be able to do that if you…if you…”_

_Tears splashed down his cheeks as he talked, trying to keep Brad focussed and calm as they waited. It seemed to work, to some degree, and they waited patiently for help._

_Adam’s teeth were chattering now and he was shivering as he tried to keep Brad warm. Brad had been quiet for a couple of minutes and Adam grew worried when it took a moment to rouse him._

_“Say you love me Adam” he said, blood staining his teeth._

_Adam sobbed, his vision blurry. “I love you Brad, so much”_

_“Will you look after them for me? Go swimming with Evan…and…throw the best parties…”_

_Adam cried harder, unwilling to believe this was happening. He couldn’t loose Brad, he was the other half to his heart._

_“Walk them both down the aisle, and embarrass them when they get older…”_

_“Brad please don’t, p-please don’t”_

_“I love you…”_

_Adam gasped as Brad went still, the breath leaving him in a long rattle that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He shook him once, twice, three times but to no avail._

_“Brad! Brad! Oh God, oh God, Bradley please…”_

_Grimacing at the pain in his body, Adam set Brad down and started puffing breaths into his body, watching his narrow chest rise and fall as he tried to bring him back._

_“Brad stay with me please…” he puffed, blowing air until he was dizzy and crashed to the asphalt, his vision swimming, his hand gripping his husbands._

_“Please…” he keened, his vision fading, blackness sweeping up to suck him under._


	21. 21

“Have you got everything you need?” Kris asked the next day as he and Jamie were leaving. The school’s end of year performance was that night, and both Jamie and Adam’s kids were performing. Jamie was one of the Lost Boys, and Kris had dressed him up appropriately, complete with one blackened tooth. 

“Yes Dad, we need to go. Ms Jenkins said everyone needs to be there at least an hour before”

“Ok then. Are you nervous?” Kris asked as he navigated the streets that led to the school. As he pulled into the lot he spotted Adam at the car. 

“No, I’ll be fine” Jamie said, bouncing in his seat. As soon as the car stopped he jumped out and went over to Evan, who was dressed up as one of the Indians. Adam had done a good job with his face paint and there was a white feather in his hair. 

“Hi guys. You excited?” Adam asked, fiddling with the back of Anna’s blue dress. 

“You bet”

“Ok then I think that’s fixed it, lets get inside then” Adam said, ushering them all to the back entrance of the school. Parents and children were rushing around preparing, and it was a state of organised chaos. The kids seemed to know where to go though, and once Adam and Kris made sure they knew what was going on, they headed back around to the front. 

“”I still don’t know how they managed to cast two kids with red hair in the Indian tribe” Adam commented as they waited outside the hall. 

Kris laughed. “Yeah, I wondered that”

Finally they were allowed inside the hall, taking their seats near the front of the room. Kris glanced around and spotted Katy in the crowd, chatting amiably with another man. 

“What’s up?” Adam asked, peering around. Kris shrugged. 

“Ah nothing, my ex wife is over there with some other guy”

“Really?” Adam asked, causally reaching his arm around the back of Kris’s chair. Kris chuckled. 

“Easy tiger, she hasn’t spotted us. Oh wait, I think she just did” 

Adam grinned smugly. “Thought that might get her attention”

“Stop it will you? Our divorce was relatively friendly and I’d like to keep it that way” Kris said, feeling Katy’s eyes on him from across the room. Even though they were no longer married, she was the mother of their child, and would always occupy a special place in his heart. 

“I’m not doing anything” Adam said innocently, his eyes on the stage. 

Kris slapped his knee lightly. “Sure sure, behave yourself”

Adam opened his mouth and Kris was sure he was about to sprout something inappropriate, but the lights went down at that moment, and he was spared the crass comment. 

The play was great and every child had their own moment on stage. Anna was perfect as Wendy and the two boys were great in their roles. Kris was even surprised to see Jamie get an award for the most improved in his class. 

All in all it was a great night, and Jamie was exhausted by the time Kris got him home. He sat the little certificate on the mantelpiece and stuck the accompanying book voucher on the fridge so they wouldn’t forget it the next time they went shopping. 

Just as he was about to fall into bed he got a text from Adam. 

_‘Anna’s bday tomorrow, having a party. 10 8 yr old gurls, will def need u there.’_

Kris chuckled and snuggled down into the bed. 

_‘Sure, but U owe me 1’_

He didn’t have to wait long for the reply. 

_‘Will make it up on wk-end. Promise. Love you._ ’

Kris grinned, wishing Adam was there with him. 

_‘Love you too. C U 2morro’_

***

Kris arrived bright and early to help Adam set up for the party. The whole house looked as though it had been covered in pink frosting, and Kris couldn’t help the grimace.

“I know, I know. I went kinda overboard” Adam said as he decorated the living room, sprinkling pink flower petals on the tabletops and the floor. It looked very nice, but Kris didn’t quite know what to say or where to start.

“You can bring the cups and plates out if you want” Adam suggested, now stringing pink ribbon over the doorway. 

Kris nodded and dutifully set up the table for the finger-food, which was ironically, pink-themed as well. 

“Did you make these?” he asked, lifting a pink iced cup cake. 

Adam snorted. “Nope, I ordered them from a place in town”

Kris grinned. “So it’s safe to eat?”

Adam laughed. “Oh shut up. Despite what you may think, I can actually cook. I just didn’t have time”

Kris shook his head and set the cake down, grabbing the bottle of pink lemonade and cups and arranging them neatly. Each girls name was printed on their cup, written in silver glitter glue. 

“Can’t help yourself can you?”

Adam grinned. “Nope”

Together they decorated the house, trailing pink ribbon over each doorway and dropping pink flowers and petals around the place, until Adam was sure that everything looked good enough. He even roped off certain areas of the house that weren’t to be disturbed, hanging pink ribbon across the door. Kris even noticed pink paper lanterns strung up in the small yard. 

“Now we have to do party favours” Adam said, checking his watch. It was only 10, but Kris didn’t know what time the others would be arriving. 

“They’re coming at 12, so we have a bit of time. Where are the boys?”

Kris shrugged. “I think they’re in Evan’s room”

“Good. Anna’s going to pitch a fit if they get in her way”

While Adam sorted out the favours, Kris decided to go into the living room to sort out the music. There were a couple of CD’s near the stereo that had been labelled, so he was pretty sure that Adam already had this organised. 

“What are you doing here?”

Kris whipped around and spotted Anna standing in the doorway, dressed in her party clothes. Her hair was down and she didn’t have shoes on, which was just another thing for Adam to do so he decided to try and help. 

“Hi Anna, happy birthday. I was just getting the music ready for your party. Want me to help you get ready?”

Anna shook her head. “Papa's the only one who gets to help me”

Kris smiled. “ Ok. Do you want to show me the shoes you’re going to wear?”

“No! I don’t even want you here! PAPA!” Anna yelled, racing away into the kitchen. Kris followed slowly, knowing this was going to be unpleasant. 

“Why is he here? You said you weren’t going to bring him!” Anna was yelling, her face red. 

“Hey! Stop yelling, we don’t yell in the house. Kris is helping me get everything ready” Adam said, calmly going about putting various lollies and candies into the pink bags for the guests 

“You said he wasn’t coming” Anna said, no longer yelling but still angry. Kris tried not to feel hurt by the fact that a 9 year old didn’t want him around, but it was a little difficult. 

“I needed some help getting ready ok? We’ll both leave you alone while your friends are here, you won't even know we're here. Now why don’t you finish getting dressed. Do you want me to help you?”

Anna nodded and Adam followed her down the hall, leaving Kris to finish the party bags. Once he was done he cast about for something else that needed finishing, but everything looked done. The living room was organised, the music ready and the party favours done, the pink cake was in the fridge and he saw that a few games had been set up in the yard. Everything was ready. 

“Is that everything?” Adam asked as he came back, Anna trailing in his wake. She looked a little teary, and Kris suspected that she’d had a talking to about her behaviour. If Jamie had behaved like that in the presence of company he would have been lucky not to get grounded. 

“I think so” 

“Great, all that we need now is some of your friends huh?” Adam said, bringing Anna forward. Her hair had been done in a fancy up-do and Kris noticed a faint dusting of pink on her eyes and lips. She looked like a little pageant darling, all peaches and cream. 

Anna went off to inspect the house, making sure that everything was indeed, up to her standards. 

“Sorry about that” Adam said, slipping his arms around Kris, who snuggled closer. 

“It’s ok. I don’t want to spoil her day. Maybe we should leave for a bit?”

Adam’s arms tightened. “No, do not leave me alone with a group of 8 year olds”

Kris chuckled and sighed, resting his cheek on Adam’s chest, listening to the steady sure sound of his heartbeat. He was dressed plainly today, his face free of any make-up and Kris noticed the bags under his eyes. 

“You look tired” he said, tracing them lightly. 

“I am, I haven’t been sleeping well lately” Adam said, thinking of the nightmares he’d been having. For a few nights now he’d dreamt of the accident, but more specifically, holding Brad when he’d died. 

Kris kissed him tenderly, trying to erase the haunted look in Adam’s eyes. It wasn’t gone completely, but it was better when he pulled back. 

“I love you” he said softly, cuddling closer. Adam kissed the top of his head. 

“I love you too. Thank-you for being so patient with me” 

Kris gave him a squeeze. “It’s really not an issue. I said when we first started dating that we could take it slow and I meant it. I want to make you happy, and if you’re not ready to go all the way we won’t”

Adam hugged him. “Thank-you. I want to, it’s just been…a while”

“I know. No pressure”

***

The party went off without a hitch, the group all enjoyed the games that had been set up and there were no fights. Anna seemed to forget that Kris was even there, and he felt certain that her little tantrum before had been born of nerves and nothing else. Leila and Eber spent the day on peace-keeping duty, supervising the girls and helping things to run smoothly. Anna was a little disappointed they had to leave before her party ended, but Leila promised to make up for it on the weekend.

Eventually the party wound down and all the girls had to go home, their parents dropping round to pick them up. Nearly all of them had a nice word or comment for Adam, and it was obvious he was well-liked and respected in the community. Some of them even spoke to Kris, and even one wished them every happiness together. 

Anna received some very nice presents from her guests, a silver beaded headband, some hair clips and some rather garish make-up in a little pink case that Adam pulled a face at. 

“Not sure she’ll be wearing that anywhere” he muttered as he cleaned up, setting the gifts aside and wiping the table. The boys had ventured out once the girls had left and were now polishing off the rest of the finger-food and drink. 

“Leave some of them Evan, you don’t need four” Adam called as Evan snuck four of the cakes from the table. He laughed as Evan left two before racing off with Jamie to play some of the games outside. 

Kris was also on clean-up duty, and was currently trying to get a pink lemonade stain out of the carpet. Some of the flower petals had been mashed into it and it was proving rather difficult. 

“These don’t look so pretty now” he mumbled, grabbing a handful of the broken petals and throwing them in the trash. Adam scooped all the leftover food scraps and plastic cups into the bin and carried it outside and by the time he’d returned Kris had lifted the stain from the carpet. 

“I think we earned a break” Adam said, handing him one of the cupcakes and flopping down into the lounge. 

“We still haven’t done outside yet” Kris groaned inwardly at the thought of the messy yard, strewn with ribbons and flower petals. 

“These are actually really good” he said after a moment. The cupcakes had a delicious vanilla flavour and the frosting was light and yummy. 

“Mmm” Adam mumbled, frosting on his lip. Feeling romantic, Kris leant forward, and they shared a frosting-flavoured kiss before heading back out to the yard. 

“What are your plans for Thanksgiving?” Adam asked as he tried to grab a ribbon that had been flung into one of the trees. 

Kris shrugged. “I’m not sure. I usually head back to my parents place. Jamie either stays with his Mom, or comes with me”

“Would you like to have it with us? Mom usually puts on a big meal and we all spend the weekend together” Adam suggested, now dangling halfway up the tree. 

“Be careful. That sounds awesome as long as we wouldn’t be imposing” Kris said, now poking at the same piece of ribbon with the end of the broom. 

“No way. How the hell did they get this up here?” Adam wondered, stretching out and finally grabbing the ribbon. 

“Beats me”

Once the yard was clear they headed inside calling the kids to dinner before retiring to the living room. 

“I better get going. I have to get Jamie to Katy’s for the weekend, and then I have a show tonight” Kris said once they’d eaten. 

“Ok then. Thanks heaps for your help today” Adam said, following him to the kitchen where he wrapped up two slices of birthday cake for them. 

“Not a problem” Kris said, grabbing some of Jamie’s stuff and calling him down. 

“I guess the next time I see you will be on the weekend” Adam said once Jamie was in the car. They kissed before Kris walked backwards to the car. 

“Looking forward to it” he said, waggling his eyebrows before jumping in the car.


	22. 22

Saturday morning rolled around and Adam felt a little thrill at the thought of spending two whole days alone with Kris. The kids had gone to his mothers the night before, so he spent the morning in bed, mulling things over. This weekend wasn’t just about sex, it was a chance for them to really be together and Adam couldn’t wait. 

While lying in bed he twirled the silver band on his finger, thinking about how far he’d come. Sure he still had days where he was unhappy and struggled to get through, but he felt that with Kris’s help he would get through it. 

Examining the ring, his eyes traced the familiar engraving on the inside of the band. He knew he should take it off, especially now that he was with Kris, but some part of him held on, determined to keep the memories fresh. Adam knew it was somewhat masochistic to keep torturing himself, but he also knew that he didn’t really deserve to be free of the guilt. 

Yawning, he decided to get up and spent a while in the shower examining the scars on his body and wishing for the umpteenth time that he had rock hard abs and freckle-free skin. But Kris didn’t seem to mind the way he looked, so he supposed it was ok. 

He was just about to grab some breakfast when the doorbell rang and he jumped up and let Kris in, enveloping him in a tight embrace. 

“hmm, you smell nice” Kris murmured, inhaling. Adam smelled of soap and clean skin, and underneath the simple scent of him that was quickly coming to mean home to him. 

“I was just about to have breakfast” Adam said, leading him into the kitchen. Kris dropped the little overnight bag he’d brought into Adam’s room on the way past and perched on a bar stool, watching Adam rummage through the kitchen. 

“Can I cook something?”

“Sure” Adam said, taking a seat and watching. Kris moved efficiently around the kitchen and soon they were eating fluffy buttermilk pancakes with peaches. 

“Oh my God, these are amazing” Adam said, his mouth full. Kris grinned and fed him another bite, chuckling at the look of pure enjoyment on Adam’s face. 

“It’s quiet without the kids” Kris commented, glancing out the window, spotting the hot tub, which he hoped would be put to use later. 

“It is, it feels kinda weird” Adam said, catching his gaze. Kris blushed under the scrutiny but took Adam’s hand as he led him to the tub, which was already filled with steaming water. Feeling suddenly shy, Kris unbuttoned his shirt and let it slip to the ground, wanting to put Adam at ease. 

Adam hesitated, looking a little unsure and Kris went to him, gently helping with his shirt, sliding the material off, caressing every bit of exposed skin that was left in it’s wake. Standing there, Adam felt horribly exposed, his skin felt like hot ants were running underneath. Kris offered a smile before reaching for his zipper, his eyes never leaving Adam’s as he removed his pants, leaving him exposed and very, very erect. 

“Kris…”

“Shhh” Kris whispered, kissing Adam tenderly, running a hand along his flank and making him shudder. Kris trailed that hand along Adam’s thigh before cupping his ass, moulding his hand to the curve. 

“I want you so much” he said softly, flicking his tongue over the sensitive spot behind Adam’s ear, loving the moans and little pants Adam gave, as he let himself go. 

It wasn’t long before Adam reached for his own pants, stepping out of them before he could stop himself and standing completely naked in front of Kris, who pulled him closer and hungrily kissed him, his tongue exploring Adam’s mouth. 

Adam pressed himself closer, loving the feel of Kris’s erect cock bobbing in front of their joined bodies, the little whimpers Kris was making was driving him crazy and suddenly all he wanted was to be inside him, buried balls-deep in the hot little ass. 

“Lets get in” he murmured huskily, almost groaning when he relinquished contact as he slid into the steaming water. Kris sat astride him, his face buried in the crook of Adam’s neck as he moved up and down, rutting together amid the swirling water. 

“Is this hygienic?” he wondered, “oh God I don’t even care, uhhh” 

Adam reached between them to take hold of him, stroking slowly up and down his shaft. “We can go inside if you want…”

“Mhmm, I don’t…uh..know if I can…uhhh, even…walk” Kris whimpered, writhing against Adam as his cock was stroked agonisingly slowly, up and down. 

Adam chuckled and Kris little out a little yip as he was suddenly picked up out of the water and carried inside, deposited on the bed in Adam’s room. Both were still dripping water, but Adam didn’t care as he went to town, licking and sucking all the little water droplets off Kris’s body. He focussed especially on the back of Kris’s knees, which he’d discovered were extremely sensitive. 

“Adam, God, I need…” Kris was whimpering again now, his face screwed up as he hands clawed the bedspread. 

Adam grinned and flipped him over, sliding down until he was face to face with Kris’s weeping cock. Adam sucked him down, swirling his tongue around the shaft, not stopping till he had Kris worked into a state of frenzy. Still he teased him, his own cock rock hard against his belly. 

“Adam! I’m going to come…” Kris whimpered, and only then did Adam draw back, releasing Kris’s cock with a loud pop and reaching for the condoms and lube in the bedside table. Kris groaned as he was prepared, Adam’s fingers sliding over and stretching his entrance. 

Kris sat up and slid the condom on Adam’s impressive length before climbing astride him, positioning himself over Adam’s erection. 

“You ok?” he asked, wanting nothing more than to shove himself down, but he held back, achingly close to coming all over them both. 

Adam nodded, his eyes hazy and dark with lust and slowly thrust himself up, pushing into Kris’s body with aching slowness until he was balls-deep, relishing the tightness. 

“Oh oh…” he whimpered as he rocked back and forth, pulling out only to thrust all the way back in again, his arms keeping Kris in position by slinging around his back. Kris buried his face in Adam’s shoulder, filled to the brim, a delicious tingling building within him. 

Adam rocked harder and Kris yelped, his eyes rolling back into his head as Adam hit his prostate over and over. Adam’s breathing was erratic, his eyes cloudy as he moved, twisting his hips a little on the upward thrust, his orgasm close as Kris sat down hard, grounding his ass into his cock. 

“Oh god, oh Kris, uh uh uh” Adam panted as he came with a shudder at the same time as Kris, who spilled his warmth over them both, his scream lost in Adam’s shoulder. 

Together they fell back onto the damp sheets, arms and legs entangled, breath mingling. Adam threw the condom in the bin and snuggled closer, ignoring the sticky mess all over them both. Kris still had his eyes closed, but laughed breathlessly. 

“That was unreal” he said, bonelessly flopping against Adam, still lost in post-coital bliss. 

Adam grinned and kissed his swollen lips. “Yeah it was”

***

The whole weekend passed that way, and once they’d started it was as though they were unable to stop. Adam took him again in the shower, Kris pressed hard up against the tiles, again on the chaise longue in the study, Adam thrusting hard into him from behind, and even in the kitchen, Kris riding him into oblivion.

Eventually they found themselves back in the hot tub, completely satiated and exhausted. Adam’s shyness about his body had all but dissipated, and he was content to lay against Kris, their legs hooked together. 

“Want to go out for dinner?” Adam asked, flicking Kris’s nipple and making him jump. 

“Yeah. Where?” Kris asked, his eyes closed. Adam flicked his nipple again.

“I don’t know” he said, kissing him deeply, his tongue lazily exploring. It was obvious he was ready to go again, and sure enough he pulled Kris closer, nuzzling his neck. 

Kris laughed tiredly. “If we go again I don’t think I’ll be moving for a while”

“We don’t have to go right now, it’s only 4” Adam said, nibbling on Kris’s collarbone. He moved Kris through the water until he was astride him again, only this time facing the back, exposing his tanned skin to him. 

“Uh huh, ohhhh” Kris murmured lazily as Adam fingered him, two fingers teasing his hole. Adam bit down lightly on his shoulder as he inserted them, stretching him wide and making Kris moan. 

Adam teased him as he reached for a condom, standing up out of the water while he put it on, and making sure it didn’t slip off once he was back in Kris groaned deeply as he pushed inside him, slower this time, his movements more deliberate. 

“Kr-is…you’re so…tight…” Adam panted, thrusting slowly into him, holding Kris back flush against him. Kris lay back, going steadily crazy as Adam worked him, alternating between deeper and shallower thrusts, hitting his prostate and making him whimper. 

“Uh, uhhh, Adam…” he groaned, his eyes screwing shut as Adam’s other hand took hold of his cock, stroking and squeezing just this side of pain. Kris writhed against him, pushing down, eager for harder contact. 

“Harder baby…” he grunted, moaning wantonly as Adam obliged, setting a fast pace that had him bouncing and jiggling. Kris moved forward, bracing himself on the other side of the tub, bringing Adam up so he was bent over him. 

“Oh God Kris…” Adam panted as he pounded into him, his other hand furiously working his slick cock. It was a bruising rhythm, but Kris didn’t seem to mind, pushing back and meeting him just as he thrust into him. 

“I’m…going to…nghh, Adam…” Kris moaned, pushing back hard and holding himself there as Adam thrust in, bringing him to a blinding orgasm that left his knees weak. Thankfully he managed to shoot his load out of the tub and fell back down against Adam’s wet body as they both sank back into the warm water. 

“God I love you” Kris said, his voice hoarse. 

Adam smiled tremulously and held him close. “I love you too”


	23. 23

Sunday morning found them both in bed, wrapped around each other, as close as they could get. Kris came awake slowly, blinking his eyes against the dim light that filtered in through the dark curtains. It had to be after 8, which was unusual because he never slept in this late. Jamie always woke early when he was at home and Kris didn’t get much chance to sleep in. 

Laying back he turned his attention to Adam, who was still asleep beside him. He looked relaxed, vulnerable in sleep, his features even dearer to Kris now than before. 

“That’s really creepy you know” Adam mumbled sleepily, burying under the covers. 

“It’s not creepy when I do it” Kris said, pulling the blanket back and snuggling closer. Adam chuckled. 

“That’s what the guy from Twilight said, and I still thought it was creepy”

“Can’t believe you’ve seen Twilight” Kris laughed, thinking of the film. Sure it was a big hit, but he’d never seen it. 

“I have a nine year old girl mister. She would have killed me if I hadn’t watched it with her”

“Are you Team Jacob or Team Edward?” Kris asked, still chuckling. 

“Hey! I’m Team Kris actually” Adam said, rolling over and resting his head on Kris’s chest. 

“Aww”

Adam grinned and draped his arm over Kris, holding him close. He hooked his leg over the sheet and Kris noticed his painted toenails. 

“What are we doing today?” he asked, playing idly with one of Adam’s perfectly manicured hands. 

Adam shrugged and Kris had a sudden idea. He jumped out of bed, dragging Adam with him. 

“Get dressed we’re going out” he ordered, padding naked into the adjoining bathroom. 

“Where are we going?” Adam asked, following him in. 

Kris grinned. “Just out, you have to dress warmly though”

Adam frowned but did as he was asked, dressing in a black turtleneck and jeans and his black and white Converse. Kris dressed warmly, but had to borrow a jacket. 

“Where are we going?” Adam asked as Kris drove them through town, “I haven’t had breakfast yet”

“Stop complaining, we’ll be there soon” Kris said, pulling into a little bakery and grabbing some bagels and other breakfast items before driving off again, heading out to the marina. 

Adam glanced around curiously as Kris led him down the wharf to a medium-sized white yacht floating at the end of a rope. He climbed aboard, lithely moving around the craft, leaving Adam standing on the dock. 

“Come on! We’re going sailing” Kris called, poking his head out. Adam scratched his head but climbed aboard, joining Kris in the cabin. 

“I didn’t think you had a boat this big” Adam said, glancing around. Kris shrugged. 

“Yeah, I’ve had her for a while now. I don’t get to take her out much now, but it’s a perfect sailing day today. Nice and gusty” Kris said, moving around the cabin efficiently and making sure everything was ready. 

“You wanna come help set us off?” he asked, grabbing Adam’s hand and showing him how to untie the various ropes scattered around. Soon they were pulling away from the wharf and heading for the water of the bay, the bright white sail catching the wind. 

“Wow” Adam said as he stood on the deck, his hair whipping around in the wind. Kris smiled, his cheeks flushed from the cold air. 

Once Kris got them into an open stretch of water he called Adam over, perching on a higher level so Adam could sit between his legs. Grabbing Adam’s hands, Kris placed them on the wheel and let him steer, resting his own hands over the top, guiding the craft. 

“Want some breakfast?” 

“Sure” 

Together they pulled the sail in and set anchor before tucking into their breakfast, enjoying the sea breeze and the serenity that came with sailing. There were a few other boats out on the water, but it wasn’t crowded, and they were happy to relax above deck, or in the room below. 

“This is rather nice” Adam stated, running a hand over the covers of the bed below deck. 

“Yeah, it is. Haven’t used it in a while” Kris sat down and rested his hand on Adam’s knee. 

“You wanna use it now?” Adam suggested, pulling him down and slipping an arm around him. 

Kris laughed. “I think you wore me out” 

Adam grinned and snuggled in closer, resting his head in the crook of Kris’s shoulder. Kris grinned, loving the fact that Adam was a ‘cuddler’. 

“What?”

“Nothin, I just love that you’re a cuddler”

Adam chuckled. “Yeah. Lucky for me you give great ones”

Kris gave him a squeeze. “You do to”

“As long as you don’t say that I’m cuddly”

Kris snuggled closer. “What do you mean?”

Adam sighed. “Cuddly, for me is like saying I’m chubby. I hate it”

“Baby you are not chubby”

“Yeah but I was, and there was something that some guy said to me a while ago that stuck” Adam said. 

“What was it?”

Adam sighed again. “Once a fat kid always a fat kid”

Kris hugged him, wishing he could make all Adam’s insecurities go away. “I would really like to hit that guy now”

Adam shook his head, “ It was a long time ago”

Kris kissed him softly, not really knowing what to say. He’d never really been bullied, or had to deal with any cruel kids while he’d been at school. Cupping Adam’s cheek he kissed him deeply, hoping to convey some of what he couldn’t say. 

“I love you”

Adam snuggled down again, his arm draped across Kris’s middle. 

“I love you too”

***

They spent the rest of the day on the water, eating and cuddling and just generally spending time together. Eventually though they came back down to Earth, mooring the yacht and driving back to Adam’s home.

Kris pulled himself away a little after 6, feeling a keen loss as he drove down the road to his home. Everything seemed so empty without Adam, the house was quieter and lonelier. After he’d eaten and showered, he flicked on the stereo and went to bed, a playlist of Adam’s slower music lulling him to sleep


	24. 24

By the time October came around Adam and Kris had a nice routine worked out, talking almost every night on the phone and spending time together on the weekends. Adam tried to keep everything business related close to home, but sometimes he had to fly interstate for various reasons, leaving the kids with his housekeeper Harriet. 

The holiday season was in full swing, and Adam had various appearances at shows and gigs but as the days moved on he found himself feeling lost, adrift. Brad had died on the 15th of November and like they did every year, Adam and the kids had a special day. 

But first they had to get through Halloween, which for Adam, had lost some of its spark. He usually had some fabulous costume party, but since the accident the whole process seemed wrong. This year he and Kris had decided to take the kids trick or treating around the neighbourhood, and forgo any parties. 

Of course, the kids had demanded that the two adults dress up, stating that no decent kid would be accompanied by a ‘boring’ parent. Adam went with his usual vampire outfit, painting his face a chalky white and giving himself fangs, while Kris dressed up as a pirate, complete with eye patch. 

Anna was dressed as a witch and Adam had even put a little wart on the end of her nose and painted her face green. Evan was a ghost, and had cut two eye holes in a white sheet. Jamie was a zombie, and stumbled and groaned his way down the street as they walked, the kids skipping ahead, leaving the two adults behind. 

“I hate this time of year” Adam sighed, looking comical in his ghoulish make-up. 

Kris nodded, his tri-cornered hat set at a jaunty angle. “I know. When do you do that Jingle Ball show?”

“Sometime next month I think, can’t remember the exact date”

They walked along in silence for a while, watching the kids race up to various houses. 

“What are you doing on the weekend?” Kris asked, swinging their joined hands. 

“Nothing, yet” 

“Want to do something?”

Adam shook his head. “I can’t this weekend Kris. I’m sorry”

Kris nodded, curious. “How come?”

Adam took a breath. “It’s the anniversary of Brad’s death on Sunday, so we all spend the day together. We eat all of his favourite foods, watch old home movies and just remember him together”

Kris slipped his arm around Adam’s waist, giving him a squeeze as they walked. “I’m sorry”

“No, it’s ok. It’s just that it’s a special day for us all. We can do something else during the week if you want”

Kris nodded. “Sure”

***

_I’m so sorry Adam” Danielle murmured softly, another apology that offered no consolation. She patted his arm gently before filing into the church and taking her seat. The rest of the small crowd filtered in and Adam reluctantly followed, taking a seat in the first pew with his children and parents._

_Throughout the service Adam barely moved, his eyes trained on the casket resting in front of them. White lilies formed a solemn curtain, flowing down over the casket to rest near a large framed photo of Brad, smiling as he never would again._

_Both kids clutched his hands, their faces drawn and sad as they farewelled their Papa. They didn’t cry, still too young to really understand what was happening, but the mere sight of Adam in tears was enough to upset them._

_When it came time for him to speak Adam could barely move, only Neil’s hand in the small of his back kept him moving until he stood at the lectern, hands shaking so much he was surprised to see it remained upright._

_“I…I…” Adam stammered, tears splashing down his cheeks. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t. Vision swimming, he stared out at the sea of faces, then at Neil who was still beside him._

_“I can’t” he said tearfully, his voice breaking as a sob was torn from his throat. Suddenly it was as though he was breathless, sobs racking his body and making him light-headed. His knees wobbled and he felt sick, overwhelmed._

_“Come on Ad” Neil said softly, sliding an arm around him and holding his elbow firmly so he wouldn’t fall over. He led Adam back to his seat and gently took the eulogy his brother had written and went back to the lectern._

_Neil read the speech, his voice ringing clear in the silent room. Adam sobbed loudly, unable to stop himself. Leila rubbed his back, her own face streaked with tears as they farewelled Brad, the stirring sounds of Youth Group’s ‘Forever Young’ playing as the casket was carried from the church._

***

Adam jolted awake, his chest tight and throat aching. Swiping at his face, he felt tears on his cheeks and pulled the blanket over his head, wanting not to have to face this day.

“Papa?” Evan poked his face into the room, still in his blue jammies. 

Adam rolled over, hoping his face was composed. “Yeah?”

“Are you ok?”

Adam smiled. “Yeah, I’m just sad”

Evan climbed into the bed and snuggled close, resting his head on the pillow. 

“Don’t be sad”

Adam smiled and hugged his little boy. “I can’t help it sometimes Ev”

Evan nodded. “Are we going to see Dad today?”

Adam nodded, tearing up again. “Yeah if you want”

“And make avocado chips?”

“Sure”

“Is Kris coming over?” Evan asked quietly. 

Adam shook his head. “No, it’s just us today”

Evan nodded. “You don’t cry when Kris is here”

Adam huffed out a laugh, thinking of the times he had cried with Kris. 

“I don’t like it when you’re sad Papa. Don’t be sad”

“I’ll try “ Adam whispered, floored by his little man’s insightfulness. They settled down into the blankets, listening to the world come awake around them. After a while Anna came in and climbed up into the bed, reaching for the remote so she could watch cartoons on the television. 

Once they were all up and out of bed the day passed relatively quickly, each of them picked their own favourite home movie to watch and they ate all of Brad’s favourite foods, even sharing a few laughs at how much their Brad would have loved the lazy, comfortable day. 

His parents called, as did a few other friends and Adam was a little surprised to find that their words of condolence didn’t upset him, and that he managed to get through the day without falling apart. 

Finally, after they’d all eaten their fill Adam drove them out to the small cemetery where Brad was buried so they could each lay a flower and say a few words. He watched as the two kids laid their rose, smiling ruefully when Evan kissed the headstone and Anna made a face. Then it was his turn. 

Kneeling in front of the stone he laid the rose with the others and sat back, resting on his heels. 

“Hi honey,” he said softly, tracing the letters on the stone. 

“It’s been a while huh. I miss you so much, every day. The kids have gotten so grown up. Anna was just in the school play: you would have loved her in it, Evan too. Anna just had her birthday: she had a party and everything. Everything was pink, even her cake,” Adam sighed, Brad’s last words echoing in his mind. 

“I didn’t jump out of her cake…” he whispered, “like you asked me to”

“I didn’t go swimming with Evan…” his voice trailed off, tears on his cheeks. 

He kept talking, words tumbling out until it was almost dark and the kids had retreated to the car. By the time he stopped he felt a little better, but still low. Everyone was quiet on the drive home, each lost in their own thoughts. After dinner the kids went to bed early, leaving Adam to rattle around. Pulling his phone out he decided to call Kris, wanting a little comfort. 

“Hi. Didn’t think I’d be hearing from you today” Kris said. Adam heard him turn the television down in the background. 

“Yeah, guess I just wanted someone to talk to. I’m not bothering you am I?”

“Of course not! Don’t ever think that. How was your day?” Kris asked. 

Adam flicked off all the lights and padded down the hall, the phone still at his ear. 

“It was ok, better than I thought actually” he said, pulling back the covers and trying to change clothes one-handed. 

“Yeah? Want to talk about it?” 

“We didn’t do much, just watched old home movies and ate too much of his favourite foods. I took the kids out to visit him this afternoon” Adam said, slipping into bed and shutting off the light. 

“That sounds really special”

“Yeah, it was. I just…I don’t know…” he trailed off, a little afraid to voice his fears. 

“It’s hard, I can’t even imagine what you’ve gone through, what you go through every day” Kris said, his voice tinged with admiration. 

“It’s not that, I mean it is, but I just feel..kinda like. I don’t know..”

“Feel what? Wrong about moving on?”

“Yeah,” Adam whispered, lower lip quivering a bit. Thank God the light was off and he couldn’t see how pathetic he looked right now. 

“I kinda felt the same way when I started dating my first boyfriend. I know it’s not nearly the same thing, but it felt like I was betraying Katy and everything we had together by seeing this other guy” Kris said. 

Adam sighed. “That’s exactly how I feel. I mean, I love being with you and it’s so easy but sometimes I wonder what Brad would think of it”

Kris was silent on the other end for a while before he spoke. “Brad always wanted the best for you right?”

“Yes, he was always pushing me to push myself harder and further. Annoying at times, but great” Adam said, remembering how Brad’s constant support had gotten him through some difficult times in his career. 

“What would he want for you now then?”

“He always said he wanted me to be happy”

“And are you?”

Adam smiled, “Yeah I am”

“I am too. I love you so much you know, I was worrying about you all day, hoping you were ok”

“Really? Kris that’s so sweet, I wish you could come over so I could cuddle you” Adam said, closing his eyes. 

“I know, me too. Are you in bed? I can hear something rustling”

“Yeah I am. The kids are all asleep and I felt like I was rattling around the house. Plus, I was cold” Adam said, pulling the blankets more tightly around him. 

“You are so cute. Shall I sing you to sleep?”

“Hhmm” Adam mumbled, already drifting off to sleep. The last thing he heard was Kris’s soft voice singing an old melody before sleep claimed him.


	25. 25

The rest of the month passed uneventfully for them all, and soon enough Adam was back in LA performing at the annual Jingle Ball. After a short discussion it was decided that the kids would stay behind and Kris would accompany Adam for the weekend. 

They rented out the best room in one of the best hotels in town before the real work began. Adam had to rehearse and choose his outfit and Kris tagged along, admiring how professional his boyfriend was and how respected he was in the industry. He wasn’t really bothered by the curious looks everyone shot his way, and was pleased to catch up with Tommy and the others. 

Kris was nervous all Saturday and was a little surprised to see that Adam wasn’t. 

“What?” Adam asked from his position on the bed. He was relaxing for a few hours before he had to be at the venue. Kris sat down on the bed, his leg bouncing. 

“How could you not be nervous?”

Adam smiled and pulled Kris down, snuggling into his neck. “I’m not nervous, just excited”

Kris sat up, leaning over Adam and pinning his arms gently. “I don’t know how you do it. I’d be a wreck”

Adam grinned and leant up to capture Kris’s lips in a sweet kiss. 

“Relax baby” he whispered, tongue outlining Kris’s bottom lip. 

Sitting up, he swiftly reversed their positions so that Kris was now lying underneath him. Grinning, he kissed him again, his hands moving down to the waistband of Kris’s jeans. 

Working quickly he freed Kris’s cock and stroked him eagerly, delighting in the little moans Kris was making. 

“Do we have time…” Kris wondered, breath hitching as Adam replaced his hands with his mouth, sucking and swallowing him down. Fisting his hands in Adam’s hair, Kris moaned wantonly as he directed his movements, thrusting a little deeper into Adam’s mouth. 

It wasn’t long before he climaxed, squeezing his eyes shut as Adam hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard, just this side of pain. Opening them again Kris found Adam sprawled out beside him, his own erection bulging his jeans. 

“I don’t think we have time honey…” he drawled, laughing when Adam grabbed him. 

“Oh I think we do Kristopher” he deadpanned, moving him down to the appropriate level. 

Kris grinned and got busy, licking and sucking Adam’s cock like it was his favourite candy. Which in way, it was. Trying something different, Kris placed both palms on Adam’s thighs and spread him a little wider, hardening again at the sight of his lover all exposed before him. 

Sucking on his finger he teased gently at Adam’s hole, mouth still working on his cock. 

“Uhhh” Adam moaned, face screwed up in pleasure as Kris fingered him, working faster and faster until Adam was a quivering mess in front of him. Using every trick in his book Kris lightly scraped his teeth along the underside of Adam’s cock, swallowing readily when Adam climaxed. 

“God Damn” Adam mumbled breathlessly, eyes still closed. 

Kris laughed and rolled closer, resting in the crook of Adam’s shoulder. 

Adam opened his eyes and grinned. “Still nervous?”

***

Adam’s performance went off without a hitch. Kris sat in the front row, beaming with pride as he watched Adam sing and sashay his way through a few songs. Once he was finished Kris flashed his VIP pass and ducked backstage, kissing Adam soundly in the wings of the theatre.

“You were great” he said, not caring that anybody saw them. Adam grinned, still a bit breathless. 

“Thanks. Let’s go back out and watch the rest” he suggested, making a quick detour so he could freshen up before they were back out in their seats. 

Kris enjoyed the whole show, even the mingling afterward. Adam held his hand the whole time, expertly navigating his way through the celebrities and making sure he was well-fed and always had a drink in his hand. 

After the show they went back to the hotel where they ordered room service and snuggled up in the big cosy bed. Kris was still talking about the evening, marvelling at the people he’d met and generally talking about how awesome the night had been. 

“I can’t believe you know Katy Perry, she’s so cool” he rattled off, dipping into the pint of ice-cream they’d ordered. Adam smiled sleepily and cuddled closer, his face free of make-up. Kris played with his hair absently, lightly scratching the scalp as Adam snuggled closer, his arm across Kris’s middle. 

“Thanks for coming with me”

Kris kissed the top of his head and switched off the television. “I had fun, and any excuse to spend time with you is a welcome one”

Adam smiled again, his eyes closed and Kris flicked off the light and pulled the blanket over them, listening to the sounds of the city as he drifted off to sleep in his lover’s arms.

***

“I’m so glad you’re home!” Evan cried when they arrived home later that weekend. Adam picked him up, smothering his little boy in kisses.

“It’s nice to be home”

“We saw you on the television” Anna piped up, hugging his legs. Adam hoisted her up as well and she rested her face in his neck, her hands in his hair. 

“Did you? Did you have fun with grandma?” Adam asked, watching as Kris hugged Jamie. His parents had graciously agreed to mind the kids for the whole weekend, coming out to his place instead of staying at home. 

“Yeah, we made cake and played with Max and even made a fort in the living room” Evan said, holding Adam’s hand as they walked into the house. 

“Hey Ma!” Adam called, dumping his bag in the hall. Kris let out a whistle as he saw the mess in the living room. 

“Woah” he said, taking in the toy trucks and trains scattered over every surface. The kids had even made a bed for Max out of sheets and towels. 

“Hi guys” Leila said as she came in, hugging them both warmly. Despite her earlier misgivings, she’d come to like Kris, having seen that their relationship was more than just a fling. 

“Boys I thought I told you to clean this up?” she scolded, arms crossed over her chest. Both boys looked a little sheepish, and Kris had to stifle a giggle at the look of triumph on Anna’s face. 

“Don’t worry about it Mom, it’s cool. We’ll clean it up later” Adam said. 

“Oh will we?” Kris asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Hi guys, yeah we really should have gotten on that” Eber announced as he walked into the room. 

“Yeah nice one dad, make my house all messy for me” Adam rolled his eyes. 

“It was either that, or come home to screaming unhappy kids. Who wants coffee?” Eber said, ushering them all into the kitchen. 

“So you boys had fun?” Leila asked, making Adam roll his eye again. 

“Yes Mom, and you’re not getting details, so stop fishing” he said, handing Kris a mug and a Tupperware container full of homemade cookies. 

“Kris will tell me, won’t you hon?” Leila took a seat at the large table next to him. 

“I met Katy Perry and it was awesome” Kris deadpanned, grinning when Adam laughed. He knew Adam’s mother was only teasing. 

“Ok hon, we better leave these two alone and get back to our boring lives” Leila chuckled and kissed Adam’s cheek warmly before leading her husband from the room. 

“Ugh, I suppose we better clean up” Adam said, pulling himself out of his chair and slouching into the living room. Kris followed, still sipping his coffee and marvelling at how Adam could go from rockstar to domestic in a matter of hours. 

“You don’t have to help me Kris, you can get going if you want” Adam said, repositioning the lounge cushions and straightening the coffee table.

“No way. Jamie helped make this mess so I’m implicated” Kris answered, grabbing an armful of dirty sheets. 

Adam smiled and stood up. “Why the hell are we cleaning this up? I didn’t make the mess”

Kris shrugged. 

“Boys! Anna! Come in here!” Adam called. 

“Give us a hand cleaning this up ok?” he suggested once they came into the room, admittedly looking a little sheepish at the mess. 

“Aw Papa do we have to?” Anna whined, reluctantly kicking at the floor. 

Adam sighed. “Yes you do. I’m tired and this would be a really big help”

After a little more complaining they got the room cleaned up, dumping all the dirty sheets and towels into the laundry and rearranging the furniture. Kris felt a little bad at the sight of all the extra laundry Adam would have to do, and promised to make it up to him. Once they were done the kids raced off again. 

“Don’t make any more mess ok!” Adam called, scrubbing at his face. 

“Jamie don’t get too involved, we’re going soon” Kris called, laughing when Adam pouted. 

“Wish you could stay” Adam yawned, hugging him. 

Kris kissed his hair. “Yeah I know. You sound like you need bed Mister”

“I do,” Adam said, “but unfortunately I have to make dinner and get things ready for school tomorrow, maybe make a few calls, sort out a few other things”

“Tell you what, I’ll order some Chinese and feed the hoarde while you take a nice long bath. Go on now” Kris ordered gently, pushing Adam in the direction of the bathroom. 

“I don’t deserve you” Adam said, squeezing his hand. 

“Yes you do. Go on, I don’t want to see you for a little bit” Kris said, wishing he could follow and soak in the bubbles. 

While Adam was in the tub Kris ordered the food and gave the kitchen a quick clean, pulling out a few supplies for school lunches and getting that organised. Once the food arrived he fed the kids and sent them to the second bathroom to shower before bed. 

Ducking into their rooms, he found their school uniforms and pulled out the iron, hanging the fresh clothes in the cupboard ready for the next day. Then, satisfied the kids were coping ok in the bathroom, he ducked into Adam’s room and the adjoining ensuite. 

Adam was stretched out in the tub, arms resting on the sides, eyes closed. Sweet scented bubbles rose up to his chin and he looked like he was asleep. 

“I’m gonna head off now babe” Kris said softly. 

“What? Oh, I must have fallen asleep” Adam said, sitting up. 

Kris perched on the side of the tub. “Everything’s sorted for tomorrow, the kids are just getting cleaned up for bed, they’ve had their dinner and yours is waiting in the oven. The lunches for tomorrow are done too”

Adam rested his head on Kris’s knee. “Kris you didn’t have to do that”

“I wanted to, I felt kinda bad that Jamie made a mess. Oh I started a load of laundry as well”

“Thank-you” Adam said, sitting up further to kiss him. 

“I’ll see you sometime during the week. Thanks for an amazing weekend” Kris said, kissing him again before heading off.


	26. 26

Kris was in the middle of a shift one afternoon when his phone rang. Setting aside the mop and bucket he ducked into the men’s room and answered, smiling when he saw Adam’s name on the caller ID. 

“Hey how’s it going?”

“Oh my God Kris you’re not going to believe this. I got a Grammy nom!” Adam’s voice was a little high-pitched in his excitement. 

“That’s so cool! Congratulations! Told you that album was amazing”

Adam laughed. “Well, it was only for one of the songs, not the whole album and I’m against some pretty stiff competition so I doubt I’ll win, but it’s still so unreal”

“What competition? No one compares to you honey” Kris said, listening to the soft music filtering through the phone. 

“Thanks baby. What are you doing right now?” Adam asked. 

“I’m at work, hiding in the men’s room. What are you doing? I can hear music”

“We’re doing some shooting for some of the album art. Just about to wrap it up for the day”

“Awesome. Why don’t you guys come over to my place for dinner? I’ll make something nice”

“Sweet, thanks. Anyway I gotta run. I’ll see you this afternoon”

After slipping the phone back in his pocket Kris headed back out to the main room, his mind full of thoughts and plans for dinner that night.

***

Once work was over for the day Kris picked up Jamie, who had a note informing him it was parent/teacher interview night in a few days.

“Oh and you know it’s our baseball final on Saturday right? I’ll ask Mom if she wants to come” Jamie said, fidgeting in his seat as Kris drove them home. 

“I know. Oh and Adam and the kids are coming round to our place for dinner tonight. We’re having a little celebration”

“What are we celebrating?” Jamie asked. 

“Adam got nominated for a Grammy today”

“Cool” Jamie said, his attention now focussed on something else. 

Smiling ruefully Kris drove home slowly, making a quick stop at the local supermarket for a few supplies he needed. He was just pulling onto his street when another car careened out of a driveway and slammed into the side of them, knocking them sideways and sending them skidding for a few meters. 

“Jamie! Are you ok?” Kris asked once the car had stopped moving. Panic shot through him when Jamie didn’t answer right away and he twisted around in his seat. 

Jamie was slumped against the window, blood dripping from a small wound somewhere in his hair. 

“Jamie! Answer me!” Kris yelled, scrambling to get to his boy, who was slowly coming to. 

“Dad? What happened?” Jamie mumbled, squinting his eyes. Kris unbuckled his seat belt and picked him up, feeling sick at how limp his son was. 

“Did you hit your head? Huh? Keep talking to me son, I’m going to call an ambulance” Kris said, reaching for his phone and dialling. 

Once he gave the address Kris sat on the kerb, keeping Jamie cradled in his arms, the plans for dinner momentarily forgotten.

***

Adam had just stepped out of the shower later that evening when the phone rang.

“Papa! It’s for you!” Anna called, leaving the phone sitting on the hall table. 

“Hello Adam speaking” 

“Hello this is Karen from the Monterey Base Hospital. I’m just calling on behalf of a Mr Kristopher Allen to inform you he and his son were involved in a motor vehicle accident earlier this afternoon. He’s requested your presence” the cool clipped voice on the other end seemed unaware of the impact her voice had on him. 

“What? What’s happened? Is he ok? Is Jamie ok?” Adam demanded, resting a hand on the wall to support himself. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest and there was a strange buzzing in his ears.

“I’m unauthorised to disclose that information to you Sir. All I can say is that Mr Allen is asking for you”

“Ok I’m coming right now” Adam said breathlessly, slamming the phone down. 

“Kids! I’ve got to head out for a little while ok? I’ll be back later tonight, but I’m going to call grandma to come watch you ok?” Adam said, hands shaking as he dialled his mother. 

“Aw Papa do you have to?” Anna whined, peeking at him from over the lounge. 

“Yes honey I do” Adam answered, tapping his foot as he waited for his mother to pick up. 

“Mom! I need you to come here, I’ve got to get to the hospital. Kris and Jamie have been in an accident” Adam blurted as soon as she answered. 

“Of course. Is everything ok?”

“I don’t know” Adam’s voice broke and he swiped at his cheeks. 

“Ok, I’m leaving now”

“Thanks Mom” he said before hanging up. Trying to compose himself, he ducked into the bedroom and changed quickly, grabbing a jacket and his keys. 

“What’s happened?” Evan asked, looking worried. 

“I’ve got to go to the hospital for a little while ok? I’m fine, but Kris and Jamie were in an accident this afternoon and I have to go see them”

“What?” Evan’s eyes filled with tears and Adam picked him up, hugging him. 

“It’s ok, it’s ok. Everything’s going to be fine” Adam soothed, wondering that himself. If Kris had been unable to call him himself what did that say about his condition?

“What’s going on?” Anna asked as she came into the room. 

“Kris and Jamie are in the hospital” Evan said, wiping his eyes. 

“I’m going to go see them now” Adam said, sitting down on the bed. Anna paled, but didn’t cry. 

“Are they ok?” she asked. 

Adam wanted to nod, to tell them everything would be fine, but he just didn’t know. Thankfully he was spared from having to answer when his parents came through the door. 

“Ok guys, who wants dinner?” his father asked, ushering the kids into the kitchen. 

“Thanks for coming Mom, I better get going” Adam said, giving her a quick hug. 

“Let us know what’s happening” Leila called out as he dashed out the door. 

Feeling sick to his stomach Adam drove through the streets until he reached the hospital, anxiety spiking inside him when the familiar detergent smell washed over him. It felt like he was there again, all those years ago, the memories flooding back making it hard to breathe. He took a moment to sort himself out, pushing those memories from his mind. _He's not Brad, he's not dead...is he?_ Asking at the desk he was told to head up to the second floor to room 313. 

The room was quiet when he got there, and he took a moment to pull himself together before pushing open the door, expecting the worst.


	27. 27

“Adam?” Kris mumbled, half asleep. He sat up in his chair, rubbing at his eyes as Adam stepped slowly into the room. 

“Hey. Are you o-ok?” Adam’s voice hitched and he started crying as Kris jumped up and hugged him, wrapping his arms around the taller man and holding him close 

“Shh, I’m ok, we’re ok. We’re both fine” Kris soothed, holding Adam tightly as his shoulders shook. 

“What hap-happened?” Adam asked, face still buried in Kris’s shoulder. 

Kris sighed and led him to the chair, sitting him down and handing him a tissue. 

“We were just pulling into our street when some guy crashed right into us. He hit the side of our car and Jamie smacked his head on the window. He’s just off having a couple of x-rays but the doctor’s think he’ll be fine. Adam, hey it’s ok” Kris said, holding him again. 

“God I was so worried! They wouldn’t tell me anything” Adam said, voice still wobbly as he wiped at his eyes. 

“I’m sorry about that, I wanted to call you but I didn’t want to leave Jamie” 

“Kris don’t even worry about that! I’m just glad you’re both ok” Adam said, pulling Kris down onto his lap. He gently rubbed Kris’s arms, as if making his own assessment of his injuries. 

“I’m fine, just have a few bruises. Jamie will be ok too,” Kris said, relaxing against Adam. 

“I can’t loose you” Adam whispered. 

“You’re not going to baby, I promise. I’m sorry I scared you”

Adam gave a watery smile and they settled back to wait for Jamie, content to sit quietly together and count their blessings. Adam continued to gently soothe Kris, feeling better by the minute that he was ok, and thanking God that he was unhurt. 

“How damaged is the car?” he asked after a while. 

Kris sighed. “I wasn’t really paying much attention at the time, but I think it’s going to need fixing. My door was completely bashed in and I’m pretty sure Jamie’s was as well. God what am I going to do? I have to get to work tomorrow, I don’t have a spare car and I don’t have the money for repair work” 

“Hey, it’s going to be ok. We’ll sort something out. Besides, you shouldn’t go to work tomorrow. Kris you have to take it easy for a while” Adam said, lightly kissing the bruise on Kris’s temple. 

“I can’t afford to take it easy! I have rent, bills and now my car to fix!” Kris said, looking worried.

“Don’t worry about it now, I told you we’ll sort it out. I can drive you guys home later ok?”

Kris nodded and relaxed again, nestling into the crook of Adam’s neck. “Wish we could stay like this, I just feel so shaky. When I saw Jamie lying there against the window, I just…”

Adam held him close as Kris started to cry softly, murmuring soft words into his ear and rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“It’s ok. You can both come home with me if you want” Adam whispered softly, his hand cupping the back of Kris’s head gently. 

“Thank-you” Kris said, wiping his eyes. 

“Sorry to interrupt you there, but we have someone who wants to see you” a slightly cautious voice offered, and a nurse wheeled Jamie through the door of the small room. He had a white bandage on his head

“Hey! How’re you feeling?” Kris asked, brushing away his remaining tears and hugging his son tightly. 

“I’m ok Dad, just tired. Hey Adam” Jamie said, flashing a weary smile. 

“Hey, good to see you’re ok”

“He is ok right?” Kris asked the nurse. She nodded. 

“Yes, it’s only a very mild concussion and a few scrapes but you’ll be fine. The doctor will be in shortly to see you” the nurse said, offering a friendly smile before leaving the room. 

“God I’m so glad you’re ok” Kris said, hugging Jamie again. 

“Dad I’m ok I promise. Can I go home now?”

“Not yet buddy, we just have to see the doctor before you go”

Jamie nodded and let Kris pick him up and place him on the bed, cuddling close to him as they waited for the doctor, who didn’t take long to arrive. He looked a little surprised to see the small crowd in the room, but offered a friendly smile. 

“Hi folks I’m sure you’re all eager to get out of here so I’ll be brief. Jamie’s got a very mild concussion, which he sustained when he hit the window, your scans are good and vitals are strong. I’d suggest a couple of days off school to rest up but you should be fine to head on home tonight. You’re both very lucky, it could have been much worse”

Kris let out a breath and smiled. “Thanks Doctor”

“Not a problem. You’ll need to sign out at the desk but other than that there shouldn’t be a problem”

Kris shook his hand before the doctor left, leaving them alone once more. Adam gave his hand a squeeze, relieved that all was well. 

“What do you think about staying at Adam’s place for a few days huh? You can hang with Evan and take it easy. Sound ok?”

Jamie nodded. “Sure”

Kris lifted him off the bed and they grabbed their few belongings before heading slowly down the hall to the front desk. Adam called his parents while he waited for them to sign out, assuring them that everything was ok and that they would be home soon. Thankfully the kids didn’t seem too put out that Kris and Jamie would be staying with them, Anna even said she was glad they were ok. 

“Do you want to stop and grab a few things at yours before we go?” he asked as they got to the car.

Kris nodded. “Yeah, sounds good”

Adam helped Kris grab a few things from his place as well as the dog, before they were all back in the car and on the road, Jamie nodding off in the backseat. 

“Thanks for letting us crash” Kris said later as they walked slowly up to the front door. Jamie was asleep in his arms and Kris also looked like he was about to drop. 

“It’s no problem. Come on, lets get you to bed” Adam said, leading them inside. His parents hovered in the background, concern etched all over their faces, but Kris assured them they were both alright, offering them a sleepy smile before following Adam into the guest bedroom. 

Kris tucked Jamie in, settling the blankets around the sleeping boy and brushing his cheek tenderly before following Adam into his bedroom. 

“Why don’t you take a shower and get comfortable. I’ll see my parents out and go check on the kids ok?” Adam asked, kissing him softly. Kris nodded and wearily went into the bathroom, letting the steaming hot water soothe his nerves before climbing into the large bed and snuggling down into the sheets. 

Adam came in about 15 minutes later, showering quickly before joining him in the bed, spooning in behind him, cradling him with his body. Kris snuggled back, drawing Adam’s hands over his middle, comforted by his boyfriends warmth and the sense of security he felt washing over him.


	28. 28

Kris was woken early the next morning when Adam rolled out of bed around 6:30am. Peeking out from under the blanket, Kris watched as Adam padded into the ensuite, emerging about 15 minutes later dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. 

“Where you going?” Kris mumbled sleepily, his eyes only half open. Adam stepped closer and laid a kiss on his forehead. 

“Just going to get the kids off to school. I won’t be long”

“Want some help?”

Adam smiled. “No, it’s cool. Stay in bed. I’ll be back soon”

Kris nodded and rolled over, grabbing his cell phone and leaving yet another message for Katy, who’d not answered her phone after the three messages he’d left throughout the night. 

“Answer your fucking phone Katy” hr grouched, dialling the landline at their old house. There was no answer there either, so he left another message, before shutting his eyes and eventually drifting back to sleep. He only awoke again when he heard the front door shut quietly and a single set of footsteps on the tile. Figuring Adam must have returned home, Kris stretched out and listened to the soft sounds coming from the kitchen. First he heard the jug boiling, then china clinking, then humming as Adam sang along to whatever was playing on the radio. 

After a while Kris crawled out of bed, grimacing a little as his muscles protested, sore from the previous day. He soaked under the shower for a while, letting the hot water wash over his body, even helping himself to some of the delicious smelling products Adam used. 

The sound of singing grew slightly louder as Kris walked down the hallway, and he smiled when he came face to face with Adam, who was standing at the counter swaying his hips and singing along to Lady Gaga’s Born this Way. His back was to him, so Kris was able to watch unnoticed for a while as Adam danced. 

“Morning” he said once he’d watched for a while. 

Adam jumped. “Jesus. Kris! You scared the shit out of me. How long were you standing there?” 

Kris grinned. “Long enough. Cute, by the way”

Adam rolled his eyes, his cheeks pink. “It’s a great song”

“I know. Will you make me some coffee? I’m just going to check on Jamie” Kris said, kissing Adam sweetly before heading off down the other hall to the guest bedroom. 

Jamie was still asleep, curled up in the soft cream sheets, the heavy blinds drawn to ward off the morning sun. Sitting gently on the side of the bed, Kris brushed Jamie’s hair out of his face. 

“Hey Dad” Jamie murmured, voice croaky with sleep. 

“Hey, how’re you feeling?”

Jamie shrugged. “Ok I guess, my head hurts a bit”

“Does it? Want me to get you something?” Kris asked, wondering if Adam had anything. The Doctor had told him it would be ok for Jamie to take Tylenol, but nothing stronger. 

“Nah, I’m ok”

“Ok then. You go back to sleep ok? You can sleep as long as you want, we’re just out in the kitchen. Is the music too loud?”

Jamie shook his head. “I can’t even hear it”

Kris smiled. “Ok then. Get some rest”

Satisfied that his son was ok for now, Kris headed back to the kitchen where Adam had a steaming mug of coffee waiting. There was also a plate of fresh bagels, some toast and eggs and a small selection of cereals. 

“There’s also tea if you want. I’m kind of addicted to the stuff” Adam said, nursing his own mug which had a blue sparkly A written on it. Kris also spotted another with the letter A, and also an E and a B. 

“Is Jamie ok?” Adam asked after a moment as he buttered a piece of toast. 

“Yeah, he’s ok. I told him to go back to sleep” Kris said, pouring a generous amount of milk into his coffee. 

“I thought you’d be asleep longer” Adam said, tossing over a copy of the paper. 

“Yeah, I’m not feeling too bad right now, might have a nap later” Kris said, grinning when Adam pulled out some glossy magazine. 

“Might you?” Adam said, his foot stroking along Kris’s calf even though his eyes were trained on his magazine. 

“Do you have much work to do today?”

“Not much, have to make some calls later on, but the morning is free”

They sat quietly together for a while but Kris felt a little unsettled. 

“Were Evan and Anna ok with us staying the night?”

Adam looked up, but Kris didn’t miss the look in his eyes. 

“Yeah I think so. You know Evan loves you. Anna will come around”

Kris smiled ruefully. “Yeah, hope so. I’d really like a way to get through to her though, what does she like to do?”

“Well, she likes to read, write in her journal, she takes dance classes every Monday, she likes Barbie movies and Twilight and about a million other things as well”

“How bout I get her some new books or something? I know I can’t buy her friendship but hopefully it might make things a little easier between us. She hates my guts”

Adam shook his head and reached for his hand. “No she doesn’t. She said something once about me trying to replace her father, but what I told her obviously didn’t sink in.”

“What did you tell her?”

Adam sighed, a little smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “That Brad would always be her Dad, and that I wasn’t trying to replace him”

“I don’t ever want to replace Brad, he was obviously special to you”

“You’re special to me to Kris. It kinda feels different this time though, with Brad we were brand new at everything, love, each other, kids. With you I feel like I finally ‘get’ myself a little better. Does that make sense?”

Kris smiled, his heart melting. “Yeah, it makes a whole a lotta sense”

“I just hope Anna will see that. She’s only 9, it’s going to take some time”

“Yeah, I’ll just keep trying” Kris said, hoping his efforts would pay off. Anna had been relatively civil toward him recently, but he always felt like she was waiting for him to do something wrong just so she could complain about him again. 

“She’s been good recently” Adam offered, resting his chin on his hand. 

“She has” Kris nodded. 

“Keep trying. Maybe we can all make a nice dinner tonight together”

“We should. After all I was going to make you a celebration meal the other night but never got the chance”

“Ok, that’s settled. Once Jamie is up and around we’ll go into the nearest Whole Foods to get some supplies” Adam said, gathering up the left over breakfast things and setting them on the counter. 

“Sure. You mind if I use your phone? I should tell work I won’t be in tonight. I'll try Katy again too” Kris asked. Adam nodded and left him to it, heading off down the hall to one of the other rooms. 

The club’s manager was a little mad that he wouldn’t be able to perform, but once he found out the reason he made Kris promise to only come back when he was up to it. After that Kris called his parents and assured them both that he and Jamie were perfectly fine. Katy still hadn’t gotten back to him, so he just left another message, not really knowing what else to do. She usually worked all day, but when he tried her office it went straight to message bank. 

Once he was done he checked on Jamie once more and after finding him sound asleep he wandered the halls, admiring the artwork and other paraphernalia on the walls and shelves. He couldn’t help the sad smile that crossed his face when he saw the framed photos of Adam and Brad. Adam looked carefree and young, totally in love and Kris hoped he would one day bring that expression to Adam’s face. 

The sound of puffing drew his attention as he wandered and he rounded a corner only to come face to face with another room, this one storing various gym equipment. Adam was running on a large treadmill, an iPod blasting in his ears. Kris watched appreciatively for a moment before wandering off again to explore another part of the house. 

Eventually he found himself in a little room toward the back of the house that caught the morning sun. There were comfortable chairs scattered around and little piles of books and papers beside each chair. It was obvious Adam used this room a lot, which was confirmed when Kris noticed Adam’s favourite pair of snakeskin boots resting in the corner. 

Picking up a novel Kris got comfortable in a recliner and stretched out, noticing that there were little apple stickers dotted on a few pages. 

“Brad used to do that” Adam said quietly as he came into the room. He perched on the side of the chair and Kris reached for his hand. 

“What?”

“The apple stickers. He used to eat while he read and then leave the stickers on whatever page he was reading, kind of like a bookmark. It used to piss me off, but I’ve left them there”

Kris smiled and pulled him down so they could squish side-by-side on the chair. Adam kissed him lanquidly, cupping his cheek and moving him so he was sitting in his lap. Kris ran his hands through Adam’s hair and held him close. 

“Sorry to interrupt but can I have some breakfast?” Jamie asked, standing in the doorway. 

“Oh my God. Sure buddy” Adam said, depositing Kris on the chair and heading off into the kitchen. Kris laughed, his face red as he followed them. 

Jamie was sitting at the breakfast bar, a bowl of cereal in front of him while Adam was pouring him some juice. 

“Well that was embarrassing” Kris muttered under his breath as he sidled closer to Adam, who grinned. 

“Yeah, lucky he came in when he did otherwise he would’ve gotten an eyeful”

“Thank God” 

“So what are we doing today?” Jamie asked, his mouth full. 

“As soon as you’re dressed we’re going to go into the store and get some things for that celebration dinner I wanted to make the other night” Kris said. 

“Cool. I better go get ready then” Jamie said, carrying his bowl to the sink before heading off to his room. 

“Me too” Adam said, pulling at his t-shirt. Kris nodded and followed him into the room, changing quickly before they headed out.


	29. 29

The nearest Whole Foods turned out to be about 20 minutes from Adam’s house and once they were there they wandered around a little aimlessly, wondering what to have for dinner. Originally Kris has planned on cooking a pasta dish, and he sent Adam and Jamie off to get a few things as he browsed. 

“Kris? Hi” 

Kris turned at the sound of his name and saw Katy glancing through the same aisle as he was in. 

“Hi. Have you checked your phone? I’ve been leaving messages all night where the fuck have you been?” he asked tersely, grabbing a few items and dropping them into his trolley. 

“Excuse me? What the hell Kris? My phone died the other day thank you very much, I’ve been meaning to get it fixed. I stayed at Steve’s last night so didn’t get any messages. What happened?”

“We had a bit of an accident yesterday in the car, nothing serious, just some loser banged into the side as we were on our way home. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all night and this morning”

“Oh my god, are you guys ok? You should have called me!” Katy said, paling a little. 

“Well I’ve been trying to! You just said your damn phone died, I tried all night and then again this morning. I even tried your office”

“How could you not tell me? I’m his mother Kris, his mother. You are so irresponsible”

“For fuck’s sake Katy who else was I supposed to call? I don’t have any other number for you. Jesus” Kris said, voice rising in anger. It was so typical of her to blame this all on him. Ugly memories of the fights they had during their divorce swam to the front of his mind, but he pushed them down, not wanting to revisit those unhappy days. 

Katy scrubbed her hands over her face, taking a deep breath. “Ok, ok I’m sorry, I guess I over-reacted a bit there. You’re both ok right?”

Kris smiled, forcing his anger away. This wasn’t the time to lose control. “Yeah we’re fine. Jamie’s got a mild concussion but the doctor’s said he’ll be fine. He’s out of school for a couple of days”

Katy shook her head. “ I’m glad you’re both ok. So where’s Jamie now?”

“He’s off with Adam, my boyfriend”

“Is he that black haired guy I saw you with at the kids play?”

Kris nodded. “Yeah, he’s really great”

Just that moment Adam and Jamie came whizzing around the corner, Adam was standing on the bottom rungs of the trolley while Jamie was sitting inside it, giggling as they rode it around the store. 

“Hey Mom!” Jamie called, waving as they coasted to a stop. Katy raced over straight away, wrapping her arms around him. 

“Jamie! Oh I’m so glad you’re ok”

“Are you having fun?” she asked a moment later, and Kris didn’t miss the appraising glance she shot in Adam’s direction. 

“We’re making pasta for dinner to celebrate!” Jamie said, waving a packet of pasta in the air. 

“What are you celebrating?” Katy asked. 

“Adam got nominated for an award”

Katy’s eyes widened. “Congratulations. Well I better get going. It was nice to see you guys, I’ll see you later”

Kris waved before turning back to the group. “Did you manage to get everything?”

Adam nodded. “Yep, and even something special for after”

“Cool, let’s get going then”

***

Adam ducked out later that afternoon to collect the other kids and once they were all back at the house they got started on dinner. Anna clung to his side as they prepared the meal, chattering about her day and generally getting in the way. Eventually Adam sat her on one of the bar stools so she could still talk but wasn’t underfoot.

“And Jessica said she was having a slumber party on Friday night but that Becky isn’t invited because the last time she was there she drooled all over her pillow and it was really gross and she doesn’t want it to happen again. So can I go Papa? All my friends are going to be there”

“Anna I really don’t know, we’ve got Evan’s big baseball game on Saturday morning. You don’t want to miss that” Adam said as he chopped some mushrooms. 

Anna made a face. “”But Papa I really want to go”

“Let me think about it ok? I really think you should support your brother though, he wants you there”

“No he doesn’t! He wouldn’t even know I was gone. Please Papa, please”

“I said I’d think about it ok. Now why don’t you go…OW! Adam yelped as the knife he was using sliced into his finger. 

“You ok?” Kris asked, glancing over. 

Adam nodded and grabbed a handful of tissues, holding it to his hand. 

Kris looked over again. “You sure? Here let me see”

Anna watched as Kris gently pulled back the paper towel, revealing a medium sized cut on Adam’s middle finger. Blood seeped from the wound, staining the towel. 

“Could you grab me a band-aid please Anna?” Kris asked, holding the towel over the cut. Anna quickly retrieved the medicine basket from a cupboard and handed him some fresh tissues. 

“Does it hurt?” she asked, watching as Kris cleaned it. 

Adam shook his head. “A bit, but not much. It’s ok”

“Could you pass me the band-aid Nurse Anna?” Kris asked once he was finished, smiling as Anna readily helped him out. She watched eagerly as he made a bit of a fuss over the wound, even though it wasn’t very serious. 

“There now. All better” Kris said, holding out Adam’s hand for Anna to inspect. She looked it over seriously before gently kissing it. 

“All better”

Kris smiled. “Well done Nurse, thank you for your excellent assistance”

Anna grinned and jumped off the stool, heading down the hall to her room, leaving them alone. Kris shook his head. 

“That went well”

Adam nodded. “It did. There’s still a problem though”

“What?”

“It still hurts” Adam said, pouting. Kris rolled his eyes and kissed his finger, laughing when Adam still pouted. 

“Now what?”

“It hurts here too” Adam said, pointing to his mouth. 

Kris grinned, moving closer for a sweet kiss. “Better?”

Adam nodded. “Yes”

***

After that little incident the rest of the evening passed in relative ease. The meal was a roaring success, and the kids ate all their veggies without fuss. Anna was much more civil toward Kris than she’d ever been, which made for a welcome change.

It was a little late by the time Adam got the kids off to bed and Kris was waiting in his room by the time he’d flicked off all the lights and locked the doors. 

“I could get used to this” Adam said as they lay tucked around each other in bed. Kris hummed happily and snuggled closer, thinking the same thing.


	30. 30

Kris ended up borrowing Adam’s second car while his was being fixed. The white BMW sat proudly in his drive and every time he looked at it he shook his head, wondering how he could have such an accommodating boyfriend. He was even lucky enough to find a few CD’s in the glove box, which provided ample entertainment. 

After Kris had gone back to his own home Adam returned to work, conducting various interviews and appearances and generally promoting his album, which would be out in a few months. He was almost constantly on the move, often racing back to town to see the kids or Kris. 

Despite his busy schedule he managed to get the kids out to the baseball field on Saturday morning to watch Evan’s big game. Anna grumbled the entire way over, complaining about the sleepover she would be missing. 

“Listen Anna I don’t want to hear it anymore! Ok? I’m sure they’ll be plenty of other sleepovers you can have in the future”

Anna rolled her eyes and stared out the window, lower lip sticking out. Adam shook his head and pulled into the lot, parking beside Kris and grabbing the sports bag before wandering out to the bench chairs. As a kind of assistant coach Kris was already out on the field, white baseball cap making him stand out. Adam resisted the urge to wolf whistle, and settled instead for setting up their impromptu picnic. 

Evan raced off once he saw Jamie out on the field, which left Adam to deal with a very sullen Anna. She bitched and moaned the whole time, rolling her eyes and sighing whenever Adam tried to offer her something. For the most part he just ignored her, content to soak in the sun and relax for a while. 

Just before the game was due to start Evan raced up, his face radiant. 

“Papa! Papa! I made the team! I’m playing today!” he cried, jumping around. 

Adam hi-fived him. “That’s awesome! Well done!”

“Yeah! One of the other boys called in sick! It’s just like Kris said ages ago”

“It is. Off you go then. Good luck, we’ll be watching” Adam grinned, giving him a quick kiss and laughing when Evan scrunched up his face. 

Evan raced off after that, joining his team-mates and warming up. Adam watched as Kris handed him a sky-blue shirt with the number 7 on it, feeling his heart surge with pride when his little boy stepped up to the plate for the first bat. 

Even though he didn’t really like sport Adam watched eagerly, yelling and whooping when his team scored and jumping up with the rest of the crowd when Jamie made a home run. In the end the boy’s team won by one run, which seemed like a pretty damn good reason for a celebration. 

“So where are we going?” Kris asked as they packed up after the game. 

“Ice cream!” both boys shouted, still on a high from their win. 

“What do you think Anna?” 

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah fine, whatever”

Adam grit his teeth, just about fed up with her attitude. Kris rubbed his back gently as they walked over to the cars. 

“Bad day?”

Adam sighed. “In a word, yes”

Kris gave him a squeeze, not really knowing what to say. Whenever Jamie was in a bad mood he pretty much kept to himself, and he had no experience with young girls. 

“Well, it’s Thanksgiving soon. You’ll have some time off then right?”

Adam nodded wearily. “Yeah, not a lot. We’re trying to organise a short publicity trip. I should be back by Christmas, but Lane really wants me to do some heavy duty promo”

“Overseas?” Kris asked. 

“No, just interstate. Play a few gigs at a few places, get my name back in the minds of the fans”

“Sounds good”

“Of course we may end up just postponing the whole thing until the New Year. I doubt it though” 

“You’ll be back before Christmas though right? I mean you’ve got a family to think of” Kris asked, leaning on the door of the car. 

“I know” Adam said, a little glum. Kris hugged him, whispering in his ear.

“Wish we were alone, I could make you feel better”

Adam grinned, turning to kiss his cheek. “You do, everyday”

“Dad come on! Stop cuddling and get driving!” Jamie called, banging on the window of the car. 

Kris chuckled. “Come on, we’ll see you there”

***

Anna was still in a bad mood by the time they got home and wanted nothing to do with either Adam or Evan, which was fine by him. He helped Evan with his homework, did a load of washing, cleaned the bathrooms and made dinner before they all retired to the living room, television on for the evening.

“I wish Jamie could stay over more” Evan said, lying on his stomach in front of the screen. 

Adam nodded. “I know buddy, but he can’t stay every night. He has a home too”

“But why can’t he live here? We’d all be happy, you’d have Kris and I would have Jamie”

“Who would I have?” Anna asked, slouching down in her chair. 

“You’d have all of us” Evan pointed out, as if it were the easiest thing in the world. 

Adam, who’d been lying flat on the lounge, sat up. “You really want him to live here? It wouldn’t bother you?”

Evan shook his head, and surprisingly Anna did too.

“Kris is ok, I guess. He sure knows how to fix boo-boo’s” she said, glancing at the blue band-aid still on Adam’s finger. 

“I didn’t think you guys wanted that”

Evan grinned. “He’s my best friend, think of all the things we could do if he lived here”

Adam chuckled. “Yes, things”

“Can he Papa?”

“It can’t just happen like that Ev, but we can try. If you want they can stay for another weekend or something, how’s that sound? Anna?”

“Sounds ok”

Adam smiled, heart swelling a bit. It would be wonderful if Kris were around all the time, he’d just never thought the kids may be ready for something like that. He wasn’t sure he was ready for that either, but he was more than willing to give it a go.


	31. 31

Adam mulled over the whole ‘living together’ idea for a few days before suggesting it to Kris, who seemed very keen on it. 

“I’d love to do something like that. As long as you’re ready though”

“I thought we could trial a long weekend or something first, just to iron out any kinks” Adam said, his eyes on the television. He was just enjoying a late afternoon coffee before he had to pick up the kids. 

“That sounds really good. When did you have in mind?”

“Maybe this weekend?”

“Sounds perfect”

They chatted for a few more minutes before Kris had to go, promising to talk again soon. Adam ambled around the house for a while, looking for something to do. The main rooms in the house were clean so he decided to venture into the kids rooms. Anna’s room was a mess of pink, clothes and books and shoes scattered all over the floor, her shelves virtually empty of their contents. 

He’d just re-made the bed when her journal tumbled out, falling open to the most recent page, pink paper fluttering in the breeze from the open window. Ignoring it, Adam continued tidying, but his curiosity was piqued. Anna was always writing in it, but it was private. Knowing what he was about to do was wrong, Adam picked it up, giving the page a quick glance. 

_…stupid for not letting me go to that sleepover. Evan didn’t even know I was there and I missed out on so much fun. Lizzie said she painted her toenails pink. Stupid Papa and his stupid rules…_

Adam rolled his eyes, used to her temper tantrums. Unable to stop himself he flicked back through a couple of pages, his eyes stopping on an earlier passage. 

_…stupid kris is here again. I hate him. He’s always trying to talk to me, include me in stuff but I don’t want to talk to him. I want Daddy back, he’s the only person allowed to make Papa smile…_

He smiled at her protectiveness before flicking back again. 

_…I want Dad back, I miss him so much. Everything was so much better when he was alive, Papa was fun instead of boring. Sometimes I wish he would be away for longer…_

Adam flinched at that, a little surprised. He hadn’t known Anna had felt like that. 

_…I think it’s his fault that Daddy died. After all Grandma told me he was driving the car when they crashed. And he doesn’t even cry about it anymore, though Evan says he can hear him sometimes…_

At that Adam shoved the book aside, his chest tight and aching. That little passage had confirmed all his fears, and it suddenly felt like everything he’d done, everything he’d worked for with Kris and in general, had been a waste. A great wave of anger washed over him and he stormed from the room, knocking his coffee mug off the counter and watching in sick satisfaction as it shattered on the wall. 

Suddenly everything was a target and he smashed all the items on one shelf, ignoring the pain when one broken cup slashed his hand. Scowling, he stared murderously at every breakable thing in the room, wanting to smash it all. Just as suddenly as it came, the anger went, replaced by a crushing sadness that tore at his insides. Breathing heavily Adam reached for the phone, his hands shaking. 

“Kris! Can you come here? No, it’s not, i…I need you” he choked out, hating how wobbly his voice was. Gently he set the phone back and sat down, trembling and at a loss.

***

Kris arrived only a few moments after he’d received the call, opening the door and coming face to face with a sobbing Adam, who clung to him tightly. Kris was alarmed to find him trembling.

“Hey, hey what’s happened? What’s the matter? Shhh, it’s ok, it’s ok” he crooned, holding Adam tightly and steering them to the lounge. 

Adam sobbed, tears streaking his pale face. Kris cupped the back of his head: worried he’d hyperventilate. 

“Shhh, just breathe honey, breathe Adam, c’mon”

“It’s…my…fault…my fault…” Adam was stammering, hands twisted in Kris’s shirt. 

Kris rubbed his back, wishing he knew what to do. Adam had been fine when he’d spoken to him earlier, but something had happened in the meanwhile to make him have such a meltdown. In truth, Kris thought it had been a while coming. 

“I feel sick” Adam said breathlessly. 

“Come on” Kris said, gently pulling him up and leading him down to the bathroom, careful to avoid the broken china on the floor. 

While Adam knelt over the toilet Kris wet a wash cloth before sitting next to him, resting his hand on Adam’s back. He was still upset, still breathing a little too quickly, but he seemed a little calmer now, less panicky. 

After he was sure Adam wasn’t going to be sick, Kris gently pulled him back so he rested against his chest again, placing the damp cloth on his forehead. Adam rested tiredly against him, breathing normally now except for a few faint hitches. 

“You ok?” Kris asked, running a hand through Adam’s damp hair. 

Adam nodded but didn’t speak. 

“What brought this on?” Kris asked gently, still playing with Adam’s hair. 

“I read something I shouldn’t have” Adam admitted softly, his voice hoarse. 

“What was it?”

Adam sighed. “Anna’s diary fell open when I was cleaning her room. I couldn’t help but read it”

“What did it say?” 

“Anna thinks its my fault Brad is dead” Adam said, his voice thick. He buried his face in Kris’s shirt, crying again. 

“It’s not your fault Adam. You couldn’t have controlled what happened, it was an accident” Kris said, heart aching. 

“I should have made him wear his seatbelt. I saw that he wasn’t wearing it and I didn’t do anything”

“That was Brad’s fault. He was a grown adult, he should have known he needed to wear it”

Adam wiped his eyes. “I should’ve tried harder. I didn’t keep him alive”

“What do you mean?” Kris asked, soothing him again. 

Adam shook his head, breath hitching. “After we crashed, we had to w-wait for the ambulance to come. Br-ad passed out, stopped breathing…I started CPR, but I couldn’t…I couldn’t…”

“Oh honey” Kris whispered, holding Adam to him again. His own tears slipped from his eyes as he held Adam. He’d known the basics of what had happened, but had had no idea of the actual details. 

“Anna said the exact same thing I think, that it was my fault he’s dead” Adam said tearfully. 

“You did your best, you couldn’t have done anything more” Kris said. 

Adam shook his head. “I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I feel like everything’s been a fucking waste”

Kris stilled, worried. “You think we’ve been a waste?”

Adam hugged him. “No! I love you so much Kris, I don’t think I could cope without you. I’m just…over feeling like this. I don’t know how to get past it”

Kris let out a breath, relieved. He gently sat Adam up so they faced each other and kissed away any remaining tears. 

“Would you feel ok about talking to someone?”

Adam shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel like I’m almost there, like it’s just over the next hill, but then something like this happens and I’m right back here again. I don’t want to be weak, I’ve gotta look after the kids”

“Adam letting out your emotions like this isn’t weak. It’s completely natural. You’ve got to let yourself go sometime otherwise you’ll break. Look at today, you almost made yourself sick. I thought you were having a panic attack”

Adam nodded. “I just, hate being like this when the kids are around”

“I know, but they need to see that you’re human. Yes they may not like it, but it’s healthier for everyone”

Adam sighed, resting back against him again. “How can I look at Anna again knowing she thinks it’s my fault?”

“I don’t know. I’d like to hope she doesn’t really feel that way, that she only wrote it when she was angry or upset, but we don’t know”

Adam thought for a minute. “She’d scribbled over it actually, now that I think about it”

“Had she? Well that’s something. Maybe she didn’t mean it”

Adam nodded. “Maybe”

“C’mon, lets get up off this floor. My ass is numb” Kris said, helping Adam up and sliding an arm around him as they went back into the living room. Kris noticed the smashed mug and general mess that was scattered about.

“Guess I should clean this up” Adam mumbled, looking ashamed. 

“No, you go and sit down. I mean it. You look like you’re going to drop. You want some tea or something? Let me get something for you hand too” 

Adam nodded and dutifully went to the lounge, lying back against the soft cushions. Kris fetched his tea, adding a generous serve of honey to soothe his sore throat. The mess wasn’t really as bad as it looked, and Kris had it cleaned in no time, all traces of debris gone before he joined Adam on the lounge. 

There was a bit of colour in his cheeks now, but he still looked unwell, dark circles under his eyes. Kris cleaned up his hand, sticking another bandage on the small wound. 

“You’ve got to look after yourself babe” he said, reaching for Adam’s foot and lightly massaging his instep. 

“You look after me” Adam said, eyes closed. Kris chuckled, more than willing to do just that for the rest of his life.


	32. 32

Things were a little strained between Adam and Anna after that, and in the days before Thanksgiving Adam felt like something had to be done about it. He was still a little unsure of just how to broach the subject with Anna, but was hopeful they could get through it. 

The morning of the Thanksgiving weekend Kris and Jamie were over after having stayed the night before. The two boys were playing video games in the living room while Anna sat with Kris and Adam at the table. She was watching them intently, the way they were together, the little touches and glances, as if studying them. 

“Are you ready to go sweetheart?” Adam asked as he repainted his black fingernails. Kris was beside him, resting an arm around his shoulders and playing with the hair at his nape. 

“Yes. My clothes are all packed”

“That’s good. I’ll put them in the car in a sec and we can get the other two organised”

Anna nodded and trotted off to her room, checking over her bag one last time and making sure she had everything. 

“Ready?” Kris asked, standing in the doorway. 

“Yep. Everything’s here”

“That’s good. Here, let me carry it out, wouldn’t want to ruin your Papa's nail polish”

Anna watched him lift her bag. “Kris?”

“Yeah?” Kris turned back. 

“Is there something wrong with Papa?”

Kris frowned. “No, why would you think that?”

Anna shrugged. “I don’t know, he’s been sorta quiet lately. He seems different”

Kris sat beside her on the bed, taking a breath. “I think he saw something that really upset him and he’s still sad about it”

“What did he see?”

Kris bit his lip, wondering how much to tell her. It wasn’t really his place to say anything, but he felt like he had to do something.

“I don’t know Anna, you’ll have to ask him. All I know is that he was sad about it”

“Should I ask him now?” Anna asked, looking worried. 

“Ask who what honey?” Adam asked, standing in the doorway. He was blowing on his nails to dry them, and Kris took his cue and picked up the bag. 

“I’ll just get this out to the car” he said, pecking Adam’s cheek before leaving them alone. 

“What did you want to ask me?” Adam asked after a moment, sitting on the bed beside her. He spotted the offending journal on the dresser and tried not to look at it. 

“How come you’re sad? Kris told me you saw something that made you sad”

Adam sighed. “I did see something, but I shouldn’t have read it and I’m scared the person will be mad”

“What did you read?”

Adam sighed again, hoping she wouldn’t hate him. “I saw a page in your journal sweetie. I didn’t mean to read it, but it fell open when I was cleaning. I’m sorry”

Instead of throwing a fit, like he thought she would have. Anna crossed to the dresser and picked up her journal, holding it to her chest. She sat beside him again and opened it to the offending page and the paragraph that had broken his heart. 

“Was it this bit?” she asked, her lip trembling a little. 

Adam nodded. “Do you really think it’s my fault?”

Anna shook her head and crawled into his lap, tears in her eyes. 

“No Papa! No! You loved Dad”

Adam hugged her, hiding his own tears. “Then why did you write it?”

Anna gripped him tightly. “I was mad! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it”

Adam sat back, tears on his cheeks. “Really? Cause I couldn’t bear it if you ever thought that honey. I loved your Dad so m-much”

“I know, but you never seemed sad after he…died. I never saw you upset”

“I didn’t want to scare you and your brother. I thought…I don’t know what I thought” Adam admitted, feeling as though a horrible weight had been shifted from his shoulders. 

Anna kissed his cheek, brushing away a few stray tears. “I love you Papa”

“I love you too sweetie”

***

Kris didn’t get the chance to ask Adam about it until after they’d arrived at Leila and Eber’s house. The kids had all scurried off to the game room in the basement, which left them alone.

“So how’d it go?” Kris asked as they lay on the bed together, wrapped closely around one another. Adam hugged him closer. 

“So much better than I expected. She doesn’t hate me”

Kris chuckled. “I don’t think she could ever hate you babe”

“I was so worried she’d despise me, that she thought it was my fault” Adam whispered, voice a little thick. 

“What did she say?”

“She told me she only wrote it cause she was mad and that she couldn’t ever think that it was my fault. She knew I loved him”

“That’s so good. How are things between you now?”

“Ok, well better I think. I think we’re going to be ok”

Kris kissed his cheek, lightly tracing over the features he’d come to cherish. “I’m so glad”

“I have you to thank for all this you know” Adam murmured, twisting their hands together. 

“No you don’t. I haven’t done anything, it was all you”

Adam shook his head. “No way, I was just floundering along, not really doing much good till I met you”

Kris kissed him softly and glanced around the room. “This isn’t where we’re sleeping is it?”

Adam laughed. “No, although this used to be my room when I was growing up. I should give you a tour. Come on”

Adam led Kris through the rest of the house, showing him their room, along with the kitchen, spacious living room and the patio at the rear of the house. They were just exploring the large library when another guest pulled up, honking the horn loudly. 

“That’s gotta be Neil” 

They passed Eber on the way to the front door and Kris blushed when he gave their joined hands a look. 

“Neil!” Adam yelled, laughing when his brother burst through the front door. They hugged each other, throwing in a few brotherly punches and Kris grinned at the carefree smile on Adam’s face. It was good to see him like this. 

“Kris! Good to see you again man! You making sure my bro behaves himself?” Neil asked, thumping Kris on the back. 

“Sure am” Kris answered, giving Adam a squeeze. 

“Ok, definitely don’t need to see any more of that” Neil said, making a face as he went inside. 

They followed him in, all crowding around in the living room, the children having come upstairs. Leila was busy in the kitchen, preparing the food for the next day but she called out as they chatted, giving her two cents. Kris wandered in after a while, looking for something to drink, wondering if he could be any help. 

“You sure I can’t help you with something Leila?” he asked her. She waved him away. 

“No honey, I’ve got it all under control. You go back out there” Leila said, smiling warmly. 

“You sure? I don’t mind helping out. Adam’s taught me a few things” Kris said, picking up a knife. 

Leila smiled again. “Ok then, there’s a pile of vegetables over there that need slicing up”

Kris got to work, chatting amiably with her while they prepared the dinner for that night, and the meal for tomorrow. Leila had prepared all the usual fare and Kris felt his stomach rumbling already. 

“Mom what are you doing? Why are you making Kris work?” Adam asked, coming into the room. Kris turned to him, his eyes streaming, the onions left on the bench. 

“Mom!” Adam blanched when he saw the tears on Kris’s face, wrapping his arms around him. 

“Oh relax honey, he was just helping me. You can have him now” Leila said, rolling her eyes as Adam dramatically pulled Kris from the room. 

“Can’t believe she roped you into it” Adam muttered as he pulled Kris into the living room, handing him a tissue to wipe his eyes. 

“What’s going on?” Eber asked, noticing them. 

“Ah nothing, I’m just not allowed to help out” Kris said. 

Eber laughed. “Of course not! You’re our guest, so take a seat. You too Ad, why don’t you tell me what’s happening with your record?”

They both sat down and Adam started telling his father all about how the record was going and that he’d be going on a short promotional trip for 3 weeks before Christmas. 

“So it’s confirmed then?” Kris asked. 

Adam nodded. “Yeah, I’m heading off middle of next week for 3 weeks. I’ll be back just before Christmas”

Kris reached for his hand. “That sucks”

“Yeah, but it’s going to be good. I’ll be home before we have to leave for Arkansas don’t worry”

“So do you want us to take the kids while you’re gone?” Eber asked. 

“Please. I’ll try and get back as often as I can, but I can’t really see it happening much to be honest. Lane’s set a pretty tight schedule”

“Don’t you worry about anything, you just work hon” Leila said, placing a large dish on the table. Kris jumped up to help, leaving Adam to talk with his father. 

He must have looked a little glum as he helped her set the table, because she patted his shoulder. 

“It won’t be long before he’s back” she said, pouring some iced-tea into a large pitcher. Kris sighed. 

“I know, I’ll just miss him is all” he said, grabbing a platter of vegetables.

“I know sweetie” Leila said, patting his back again as they went back to the table. 

The kids had emerged by now and they ambled over to the table, taking their seats and waiting for the rest of the adults to join them. Kris took his seat next to Adam and the meal began, each of them passing plates and cutlery around and chatting amongst themselves. 

As he ate Kris found himself lost in thought, his mind suddenly full of images of himself and Adam years from now, doing this very same thing, all gathering around the table and sharing a special occasion. Glancing around he caught Adam’s eye and looked away, feeling shy all of a sudden. Adam smiled and Kris felt him reach for his hand under the table, twisting their fingers together.

The rest of the meal passed that way, each of them sneaking little glances like they were still in high school, and more than once Kris caught Leila or Eber sharing a little secret smile of their own. After they were finished the two of them snuck out to the back patio where they could hear the wind whistling through the trees. 

“Three weeks isn’t as long as it sounds” Adam said, enveloping Kris in his arms, loving how the shorter man fit into his embrace. 

Kris nodded and sighed. “I know, it just seems like forever”

Adam hugged him and they were silent for a moment, just listening to the wind. Kris leant up and kissed him. 

“Guess I’ll just have to get used to this, you being such a hugs rockstar”

Adam shook his head. “Will you come and see me off?”

“Of course I will” Kris said, shivering a little in the cold breeze. 

“Come on, lets go back in” Adam said, slinging an arm around him as they walked back inside. Leila and Eber were sitting at the table, a plate of brownies between them. The kids were all in the living room watching a DVD. 

“Everything ok?” Eber asked, handing them both mugs of hot chocolate. 

Adam nodded. “Yes. Why may I ask do you bring these out when I’m outside?” 

Leila laughed. “Because we all know how much you love brownies”

Adam made a face and took one, popping in into his mouth. Kris chuckled at the look of bliss on his face. 

“It took you ages to get that look back on your face when you ate one of them” Eber said, chuckling. 

“What happened?” Kris asked, grabbing one for himself and sitting down. 

“One night when Adam was little he snuck out and ate the whole pan of brownies. I caught him just as he was going to bed” Leila said. 

“You were so mad I thought you were going to kill me” Adam said, chuckling. 

“No, we thought the vomit-fest you suffered at 2 in the morning was punishment enough” Eber said, laughing. 

“Aww” Kris said, laughing as Adam’s cheeks went pink. 

“But you seem to have recovered your love of them” Leila said, watching as Adam took another from the plate. 

“Hey! Stop looking at me like that, I’m going to be living off shitty food for a while. Gotta get the good stuff in while I can” Adam said. Neil joined them the, looking a little puzzled. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, grabbing a brownie. 

“Just telling stories and embarrassing your brother” Eber said. 

“Ah, the infamous brownie story. Kris if you’re going to be around for a while you need to learn to hide these sort of things from Ad. He has a massive sweet tooth” he said, giving Kris a conspiratorial wink. 

“You shut up” Adam said, punching Neil. 

“Boys” Leila said, rolling her eyes as they continued to rough house. 

It was a little late by the time they got the kids off to bed, but they went without a fuss, each tucked into their beds before Kris joined Adam in their room. Adam was in the shower, and Kris shut their door before joining him. 

“Wanna make out?” he said, pressing himself against the other man, the warm water splashing down between them. 

“The parental units are just down the hall” Adam said, giggling. 

“You’ll just have to be quiet then won’t you?”

Adam’s laugh was cut off as Kris got on his knees, his head resting against the tiled wall as Kris kissed and licked a path down his body, blowing softly on his erection before sucking him down, swirling his tongue and driving him crazy. It had been a little while since they’d had sex, and Adam made a vow to himself to indulge more often. 

Biting his lip, he whimpered, screwing his eyes shut as Kris continued to suck him, his head bobbing and water running in rivulets down his tanned back. He moaned loudly, unable to stop himself, his knees weak. 

Kris released his cock and grinned, standing up and cupping his ass. “I told you to be quiet”

Adam kissed him roughly, pushing their bodies together before he turned Kris around, running a hand down his flank. Kris shuddered and threw his head back as Adam bit gently at his shoulder, knees weak as he let out a soft groan. 

“Shhhh” Adam murmured, teasing at his hole with a slick finger. Kris bit his lip as Adam slid the digit inside him, wanting nothing more than to scream his pleasure. 

“Adam…please” he whispered, eyes closed as wave upon wave of desire rolled through him. Adam bit him again before suddenly thrusting up, entering him and tearing a strangled moan from him. 

The pace was frantic after that, each man lost in the feeling as they moved together in the steaming water. Adam letting out quick little pants as he moved, Kris holding his breath and hoping he was quiet. They climaxed together before sliding down the wall, coming to rest in a tangle of limbs on the tiled floor. 

Still breathless, Adam reached up and handed Kris a wash cloth before shutting off the water. 

“Can’t believe we just did that” Kris mumbled, leaning against the wall. Adam laughed tiredly before pulling himself up and reaching for a towel, wrapping it around Kris, who joined him a moment later. 

“We should do that more often” he murmured, patting Kris dry. 

Kris closed his eyes and let Adam lead him to the bed where he was tucked in warmly and enveloped as Adam spooned behind him, resting his chin on his shoulder and pressing soft kisses to his neck.


	33. 33

They stayed in bed till late the next morning, satisfied that Leila and Eber could watch the kids if they got up. Adam stared at the ceiling while Kris slept beside him, listening to the soft snuffles his lover made. Glancing down at his hands, he fiddled again with the silver wedding band, before slipping it off entirely and placing it on the bedside table. His hands felt naked without it, but he knew it was the right time to take it off. It felt right, what with everything he’d accomplished with Kris in the recent months. 

Sighing softly Adam rolled closer to Kris, enjoying the intimacy. There were soft sounds coming from downstairs so he figured the rest of the house must be up. Anna and Evan’s usual routine come Thanksgiving morning was to sit around the television and watch numerous retellings of the story while he made them all a big breakfast. He had no idea what Kris’s routine was. 

“Go back to sleep” Kris mumbled, his eyes still closed. 

“I am asleep” Adam said, running his hand lightly along Kris’s arm. 

“I can hear you thinking” 

Adam rolled his eyes. “You can not”

Kris smiled sleepily. “Yes I can, I have special abilities. You’re thinking too hard about something. What’s up?”

Adam sighed softly. “Just thinking about the future”

“What about it?”

“I was wondering about all your little holiday routines actually”

Kris smiled and settled in against Adam’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. 

“Well, on Thanksgiving morning I usually head out to Katy’s place and we have the usual meal with some of the family. Jamie watches all the old re-tellings of the story on the television, and we just laze around all day”

“Sounds just like us. What about Christmas? You already know I’m Jewish but the kids and Brad aren't, we used to combine Hannukah and Christmas for the kids. I kinda classify myself as non-practising, so we usually just did Christmassy stuff”

“We always have a big breakfast at my place before we all gather in the living room to open presents. Then Mom gets started on lunch, we always eat way too much and I almost always have a nap in the afternoon”

Adam chuckled. “Sounds perfect”

“Well, I plan on spending every Thanksgiving and every Christmas for the rest of my life with you, so we’ll have plenty of time to…” Kris’s voice trailed off and he sat up a little so he could look into Adam’s eyes. 

“We’ll make our own traditions won’t we?” Adam said, feeling like he wanted to shout from the rooftops. Never had he thought he’d be here: ready to start again with another man. 

“We will” Kris said, kissing him softly. They glanced at one another before dissolving into fits of giggles, not noticing Anna standing in the doorway. 

“Can I come in?” she asked, clasping her teddy to her chest. 

“Of course honey! I didn’t know you were awake. Come here sweetie” Adam said, scooting over to make room in between them for her. Grinning she jumped into the space, burrowing under the blankets. 

“Thought you’d still be asleep” Kris said. 

Anna shook her head. “No, I could hear you talking, and I want to watch cartoons without the boys”

Adam grinned and flicked on the television, snuggling back and giving Kris a soft smile from over Anna’s head. This sort of behaviour was miles ahead of where she’d been regarding Kris, and he wasn’t complaining. She still wasn’t overly accepting, but he felt she was on her way.

***

Once everyone was up and dressed they all shared breakfast in the dining room before heading off to the different parts of the house. Adam spent some time catching up with Neil, and realising that his younger brother was a lot closer to his girlfriend than he’d realised, while Kris went to the library to find something to read.

As he browsed the shelves he couldn’t help but notice the large framed photograph of Adam and Brad, picking it up and running a hand gently across the glass. There was a handful of glitter sprinkled under the glass and he started when Anna spoke up from behind him. 

“Dad always used to do that” she said, watching him intently. 

“The glitter? I think it’s nice” Kris said, smiling. 

“He put glitter everywhere” Anna said, walking over to him. 

“Did he? Why’d he do that?” Kris asked. 

“He said he wanted to make everything sparkly”

Kris smiled softly, setting the photo back on the table and watching as the sun’s rays caught the glitter, making the picture shine. 

“I love him and I always will”

Kris sighed softly. “I know. I would never try to replace your father Anna. I know you love him very much”

“You make Papa smile. He hasn’t smiled in a long time, not really”

“I just want to make him happy”

Anna stared at him for a moment, appraising him. “I suppose that’s ok”

Kris smiled. “Want to tell me about your Dad?”

Anna nodded and ducked across the room to a smaller shelf, where she grabbed a large album and brought it back to him. Kris sat her on his knee and she opened the book, showing him various photos of their family before Brad had died. There was a story to every one, and Kris listened raptly, not seeing Adam standing in the doorway. 

Adam watched them, listening to Anna tell stories about Brad and feeling like things had suddenly clicked into place for the two of them. Smiling softly to himself he left them alone and wandered back out to the rest of the family.

***

After the meal, in which everyone ate far too much of Leila’s good cooking, everyone settled in the living room around the flat-screen. The kids were all laid out in front of the screen, eyes glued to yet another re-telling of the story of the first Thanksgiving. Leila and Eber handed out tea and coffee before settling into one of the lounges while Kris had his head in Adam’s lap, stockinged feet resting on the cushions while Adam played with his hair. Neil sat on another chair, gagging at his brother.

“Could you be a bigger ass?” Adam quipped, scowling. 

“You love it”

“I highly doubt that” 

“You’d miss it if I didn’t do it man” Neil said, grinning. 

“I’ve been putting up with your crap for 27 years bro, cut it out before I smack you down”

“Boys! Do I have to turn the hose on you both? Neil leave your brother alone, Adam stop antagonising him” Eber said good naturedly. 

“We should head off soon huh?” Adam said, tracing Kris’s eye brows. 

“Mhmm” he mumbled, eyes closed. 

“I think we wore him out” Leila said. 

Neil raised an eyebrow. “We? Try your eldest. The prodigal son seems to have a penchant for shower se…”

“NEIL!” Adam said loudly, cheeks pink at the thought that his brother may have heard them the night before. 

“Ok then. Kids, why don’t you go get your stuff all organised huh?” Eber suggested, ushering all the kids off to their rooms before leaving the two of them alone. He had to practically drag Neil from the room, so intent was he on irritating his brother. 

“I love your family” Kris mumbled, rolling over so his face was pressed to Adam’s stomach. Adam chuckled. 

“Did you have fun?”

“Yep, now I’m kinda pooped”

“We don’t really have to go home yet, Dad was just getting everyone out of the room”

“Mhmm, I know. Do you really think your brother heard us last night?” Kris said, looking a little embarrassed. 

Adam shook his head. “Nah, his room is at the other end of the house. He just knows how to push my buttons”

“Can’t wait for you to meet my folks” 

“Will they like me?”

Kris sat up. “Of course they will! How could anyone not like you.”

“Yeah well, there’ve been a few” Adam chuckled. 

“Well don’t worry. They’re going to love you just as much as I do”


	34. 34

The airport was busy on the morning they went to see Adam off. Kris blushed a little when there was a tell-tale camera flash, but Adam just ignored it, getting his bags through check-in, and proceeding through security with Kris in tow. He looked every inch the rockstar today, complete with eyeliner and silver studded rings, simply because he would be going straight to a taping as soon as he got off the plane. 

“How long till you leave?” Kris asked as they sat in the lounge once they’d gone through security. The kids had seen their father off the night before, the 6am flight was simply too early for them to be awake and still function at school that day. Harriet was minding them until Leila came. 

“Bout 20 minutes I think” Adam said, nursing a large coffee. He propped one booted foot up on the seat across from him and drummed his fingers on his knee. Isaac would be joining him on the flight, he’d texted not long ago to say he’d been held up with security but he was on his way. Kris felt a little better that Adam wouldn’t be going by himself. 

“Going to go back to bed once I go?” Adam asked. 

Kris shrugged. “Probably not. I’ve got to work today anyway”

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to various other flights being called, or people being paged before Kris spoke up again, reaching for Adam’s hand. 

“I’ll miss you, you know”

Adam smiled softly and leant over to kiss him. “I’ll miss you too. But I’ll be back, the time will fly, and before you know it we’ll be at your folks place enjoying Christmas”

Kris nodded. “Yeah. I can check in with the kids if you like. I’m sure Jamie won’t be able to go without Evan for all that time”

“I’m sure they’d love that” Adam said, kissing him again. 

“I for one, am kinda glad you won’t be with us dude. If that’s all you two do together, then I don’t want to be stuck on a plane with you:” Isaac chimed in as he sauntered up, black beanie covering his head. He looked a little tired. 

“Finally! Dude where have you been? We leave in like 10 minutes” Adam said, smacking his shoulder. 

“Got held up, the guards didn’t like some of my jewels”

Adam shook his head, still grinning before a voice announced their flight was boarding. He slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and turned to Kris. 

“Well, I’ll see you in a little while” he said, embracing him and holding still for a moment, inhaling the scent of his cologne as if memorising it. 

“See you in a bit” Kris whispered, giving a small wave as they broke apart. 

“Bye” Adam said as he walked off down the corridor, chuckling with a lone camera-flash caught him mid-wave. 

Kris watched until the plane left before heading back out to his car, heading into town for a bit before he had to start work. Jamie was at Katy’s for the day, so he had a little time to himself, and somehow found himself in a jeweler’s, browsing the shelves. 

For a long time now he’d felt he was ready to take the step and propose to Adam, if he was ready. Kris knew it was a huge step, and he wouldn’t do it until they were both comfortable with it. They hadn’t even discussed the option, which he hoped Adam was open to. When they’d woken up together on Thanksgiving morning and discussed holiday routines, that was when he felt things had changed for him. Adam was the love of his life, he was it.

The shop attendant wandered over as he browsed and Kris stepped back, unwilling to get too serious about ring shopping just yet. After all he wasn’t even living with Adam, although they spent a lot of time together already. Sighing softly, Kris turned away from the shelves and left the store, frowning when a random camera went off, catching him on the thresh hold of the store. 

Sliding his sunglasses on, he continued on down the street grateful that the paparazzo didn’t follow him anymore. The last thing he wanted was a picture of this splashed all over the internet, especially since he hadn’t said anything to Adam about it yet.

***

Adam finished the song with a flourish, grinning widely at the crowd and relishing the applause. It had been a little while since he’d done this, and he’d missed it. Sure it was only a small talk show, but it was a nice way to get back into it. Tommy sidled up beside him, giving a little coy look that he knew the fans would eat up.

The host stepped up then and they chatted for a few minutes before they had to cut to a commercial, leaving Adam a quick minute for a sip of water and to remove his ear mic and join the host on a tan covered lounge. They talked for a few minutes about the upcoming album before the conversation turned to more private matters, such as his relationship.

“I’m seeing someone, but that’s all I’m going to say about it” he said politely, and thankfully the conversation steered to safer ground. 

It was 12:30am by the time he got settled into a hotel, sharing an adjoining room with Tommy, and Adam had trouble keeping his eyes open as he removed his make-up in the bathroom. Eventually he fell into bed, hoping for a decent amount of shut-eye before another interview taping at 8am. Glancing at his phone one last time a sleepy smile crossed his lips when he saw the message on the screen. 

_Hope u arrived ok. Miss u already. <3 love you – K_

Clumsily he typed a message. 

_Arrived ok. Bout to sleep now, miss u 2, love u – A_


	35. 35

Kris scanned just about every tabloid for the photo he knew had been taken of him leaving the jewellery store. Sure enough he found a two page spread in one of the rattier tabloids, a headline screaming out at him. ‘Allen spends big on upcoming engagement”

His eyes widened when he read the article. 

__

Kris Allen, current beau of rock star Adam Lambert was caught leaving an upmarket jewellers during the week, prompting early engagement rumours. The pair who were snapped together on numerous occasions have become almost inseparable but are spending time apart as Lambert promotes his new album. These new pictures may mean that Lambert is in for a surprise on his return. Are wedding bells ringing for these two lovebirds?

Kris scoffed and tossed the magazine aside, feeling a little worried at the possible ramifications of what he’d done. Surely Adam wouldn’t jump to conclusions would he? It had been about a week since they’d last spoken. Kris had watched Adam on the television a few times and he’d seemed ok, a little tired but ok. Hopefully things were still ok between them.

***

Adam was just taking his seat on yet another plane when Tommy shoved something into his lap before resting his elbow on the arm-rest: waiting for his reaction. Adam picked up the magazine and opened it to the page Tommy indicated, frowning when he saw the photo’s of Kris leaving a jewellery store.

“Something you want to share with us?” Tommy asked. 

“Not that I know of” Adam said, his eyes scanning the article. 

“Is this real? Is Kris going to propose to you?” Tommy asked again, resting his hand on Adam’s shoulder. They jolted a little in their seats as the plane took off. 

“I don’t know. We haven’t even spoken about marriage” Adam said, voice soft. 

“Maybe he was going to surprise you” 

“But…I, we maybe had one moment where we discussed the future but that was just one time! I don’t understand why he would jump straight into something like this!”

“Hey hey, I think the first thing you need to do is talk to your boy, just sort out what he was doing. This is probably nothing Ad” Tommy said, rubbing his shoulder gently. 

“Ok” Adam said, calming down a little. Tommy was right, there was nothing he could do about it now. All he could do was sit back and enjoy the flight, there was no point worrying about things that might not even be true. 

But as he settled back he couldn’t help the seed of doubt that crept into the back of his mind.

***

It was two nights after he’d seen the article that Adam finally got the chance to sit down and call Kris. The group had managed to get the night off and were currently relaxing in a restaurant, drinking and eating and generally hanging out.

Adam ducked away after a while, slipping out the back door of the building, but making sure that his security team knew where he was. 

“Hi! How are you?” Kris chirped once he picked up. 

“Hey, yeah I’m pretty good, just having dinner with everyone we managed to get the night off” Adam said, shivering a little despite his coat. 

“That’s cool. So how’s everything going?”

“Pretty good actually, just doing all sorts of press and stuff. Lane’s talking about an international promo trip once Christmas is over”

“Oh, so it’s pretty full on then”

Adam sighed. “Yep, it’s awesome though I’m having a blast. So what have you been up to?”

“Nothing much, just the usual, stuff with Jamie and work. I uh, actually got papped the other day”

Adam chuckled. “Yeah I um, I saw the photo’s”

“You did?”

“Yeah. You aren’t planning anything are you?” Adam whispered, shivering again. 

“No! Adam no I’m not. I’m not even thinking about that yet. I was just in there after I saw you off, it was probably a stupid idea”

Adam laughed weakly, relief coursing through him. “That’s good, I got worried there for a second”

Kris was silent on the other end and it took a moment for Adam to realise what he’d said. “Kris I didn’t mean…”

“Don’t you want to marry me?”

“Kris I didn’t mean it like that. You know I have no filter” Adam cried. 

“What did you mean then? Adam I haven’t spoken to you in days and then you come out with this? What am I supposed to think?” Kris sounded angry now. 

“You’re the one who was seen coming out of a fucking jewellery store! Kris I don’t think I’m ready for marriage yet” Adam said, feeling angry and upset. Marriage was such a big step, and he was 99.9% sure he wanted to take that step, but there was still a small part of him that shied away from the idea. 

“Well what was all that talk on Thanksgiving about making our own traditions! Adam what do you want?”

“I want to be with you, I do…I'm just...” Adam was crying now, his whole body shivering in the cold. 

“I want to be with you to, but I do want to marry you one day. You need to decide if that’s what you want. Look I’ve got to go, I have to work tonight. See you when you get back” Kris said before hanging up. 

“I love…” Adam’s voice trailed off as the tone rang in his ear. 

Slumping down against the wall Adam cried for a moment, wishing he was anywhere in the world but here. Why did things have to go to shit now when he was on the other side of the country and couldn’t be there to fix it?

Still upset Adam huddled down into his coat and went back inside, bypassing his friends and going to his room, huddling under the blankets and letting his tears flow again.


	36. 36

Adam was miserable for the next few days, angry at himself for his seeming inability to get over himself and just commit to the man he loved. Why was it so hard? Because you did it once and you lost him, that's why They continued the tour and he was his usual bright self, but once the cameras were off he remained silent and withdrawn. 

“Are you ok?” Tommy asked one afternoon. They were once again on their way to an airport. Adam shrugged. 

“I don’t know, not really I guess”

“What happened?”

“Kris and I had a fight”

Tommy’s eyes softened. “That sucks”

Adam nodded, staring off out the tinted window of the car at the grey stretch of freeway. He hadn’t heard from Kris for a few days now, his three texts had gone unanswered. Tommy slung an arm around him, hugging him awkwardly in the car. 

“It’ll be ok. You guys love one another”

“I hope so”

***

Across the country Kris wasn’t faring much better, he went to work, sang at the club and spent time with Jamie, but he felt as though it was all happening in a vacuum. He watched the few appearances Adam made on the television, noting the dark circles around his eyes and the paleness of his face. He obviously wasn’t doing much better, and Kris felt like a jackass every time he saw him.

He shouldn’t have said what he’d said, those remarks about marriage cut at him whenever he remembered, and hearing Adam in tears because of him drove him insane with guilt. _Why didn't you just wait? You knew this ws a sensitive area for him, you should have spoken to him. Great way to blow the best thing that's happened to you_ The three texts from Adam had gone unanswered, simply because when he looked at them, tears blurred his vision so much he couldn’t see to type. 

Finally, after a week of not speaking Kris got up the guts and left Adam a voice message. 

“Hi, you probably don’t want to talk to me right now, but I have to talk to you. I’m so sorry about what I said the other night: I was a huge jackass. I love you so much Adam, I don’t want to screw up what we have. Anyway, let me know your flight details and I’ll pick you up when you come in, if you still want me to. I miss you”

He hung up and went about his day, going through a short shift at the coffee shop before coming home, plopping down in front of the television with a warm mug of tea. Jamie was with his mother tonight, which was probably good, he wasn’t much company right now. He was just refilling his mug when his phone beeped. 

_Hey. Flight no is LA321475, gets in @ 8pm. Will be waiting for u. Miss u 2 – A_

Kris grinned, tracing his fingers over the message for a moment. Hopefully they could sort out this mess. He didn’t want to lose Adam over this, if he wasn’t ready for marriage then they would just wait until he was, Kris saw that now, and also saw that he’d been wrong in pressuring him about it. Now all he had to do was make it up to him.

***

The remainder of the week flew by and Kris went about things normally, counting down the days until he would see Adam again. Finally it was Wednesday night and he was on his way to Los Angeles, and to LAX airport. He fidgeted nervously as he drove the three hours to the city and navigated the maze of highways and roads leading out to the airport. Eventually he found a park and slipped into the terminal, noting the flight number as he made his way to the gate.

Grabbing a coffee, Kris loitered around the gate, keeping his eyes peeled on the walkway. There were a few paparazzi hanging around, but he kept his back turned, trying his best to ignore them and hoping they didn’t notice him. Thankfully he wasn’t noticed, and was able to wait in peace. 

Finally the flight number was called and passengers started trickling out of the gate, running to their loved ones. Eventually Kris spotted Adam, walking out with Tommy. He had a dark hoodie pulled up, obviously unwilling to be recognised. Kris felt his heart twist and moved up closer, catching his eye. 

“Hey man” Tommy said, hugging him quickly. 

“Hey, good to see you” Kris said, but his eyes were for Adam only. 

“Hey” he said softly, patting his arm. Adam smiled and hugged him, relaxing into his embrace for a moment. 

“I missed you” Adam whispered, holding him close. Kris choked up a little then, noticing Adam’s glassy eyes as well. 

“Let’s go home. You ok about getting home Tommy?” Kris asked. 

Tommy nodded. “Yep. I’m cool. Catch ya guys. I’ll call ya Ad”

Adam nodded and hugged him quickly. “See you soon”

***

Once they’d collected Adam’s bags they made their way slowly out to the car, occasionally making comments or talking about stuff they’d been doing. Kris couldn’t help but flinch inwardly at how guarded Adam seemed, he kept his eyes down a lot and his voice was soft.

“Are you ok?” he asked as he stowed Adam’s bags in the back of the car. Adam nodded. 

“Yeah, I’m just tired and I think I’m getting sick. No biggie”

Kris nodded but didn’t speak again as he slipped behind the wheel and headed out to the main road. Adam sat quietly beside him, head resting on the window. He did look pale and drawn, eyes a little glassy and cheeks a little flushed. 

“Can we talk?” Kris asked, hating the awkwardness between them. 

Adam scrubbed at his face. “Ok, but can we do it tomorrow? Please? I feel like shit and all I wanna do is sleep for days”

Kris nodded. “Sure. Try to get some sleep. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us”

Adam smiled. “Thanks. I want to sort all this out, I do. I love you”

Kris reached over and took his hand, raising it to his lips and gently kissing the back of it. It wasn’t a fix, not yet, but it was the closest he’d felt to one in days. 

So he drove them home in silence, the radio playing softly in the background while Adam slept in the chair beside him. He stopped once to refuel and to grab some tea and coffee before they were back on the road, arriving at Adam’s place just before midnight. 

“We’re here, come on” Kris whispered, gently rousing Adam. 

He grabbed the bags and followed Adam up the stairs, standing awkwardly on the thresh-hold. 

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

Adam nodded. “Sure. I’m gonna sleep in, but you can come round after 12”

“Ok, sounds good. Guess I’ll see you later” Kris said, offering a weak smile. 

“See you.”


	37. 37

It was well past 10 when Adam woke up, groaning a little when his head started pounding once he opened his eyes. He felt like utter crap, stuffy nose, sore head, aching all over. He was cold as well, and huddled into his hoodie as he shuffled around the house, picking listlessly at his breakfast and downing cup upon cup of honeyed tea to try and soothe his sore throat. 

Kris turned up a little before 1pm and before Adam could protest he was enveloped in warm arms. Unsurprisingly, he burst into tears, feeling completely miserable. 

“I don’t want to fight with you Kris” he said, reaching for a tissue. 

“I don’t want to fight with you either. I’m sorry for what I said before, I was an asshole and you didn’t deserve it” Kris said, sinking back into the soft lounge and holding Adam close. 

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that, I kinda rained on your parade.” Adam said, blowing his nose. 

“It kinda looked bad though. I honestly didn’t think I’d get papped coming out of there. I’m sorry you had to see it like that too”

“Are you thinking about that though? Marriage I mean” Adam asked hesitantly. 

Kris sighed. “Honestly? Yeah, I am. I mean, we’ve been together for a while now and I have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind. Have you?”

Adam sniffed. “I don’t know, maybe. I think the closest I’ve come to thinking about it was on Thanksgiving morning”

“Do you think you’re ready?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes yeah, and sometimes not. I don’t know. We’re not even living together though, you could be a complete slob and I don’t know if I could marry a slob”

Kris got worried, until he saw the grin on Adam’s face. “Oh shut up. You had me worried there”

Adam idly traced the design on Kris’s shirt, thinking. “I took my wedding ring off”

“I noticed that. How come?”

“I guess I thought it was time to lay it to rest. I just felt ready, and I think you helped me realise something”

“What?” Kris asked, curious. 

Adam took a breath. “It’s not my fault Brad died. I mean, there was always a small part of me that knew that, but I drowned it out most of the time. Anna helped too actually, hearing her tell me she didn’t think it was my fault, just…I don’t know”

Kris hugged him. “I’m so proud of you”

Adam smiled faintly, “I’ll always love him, and what we had. But I love you too, and what we have is special as well”

“I don’t ever want to replace Brad, but I love you so much I just want to make it official. I don’t want to pressure you though”

“I’m not saying I never want to get married again. I do, I’d love to marry you, I just think we should stay as we are for a while. Move in together first, or something like that. Everything with the kids is ok now, you’ve met my family, I’m about to meet yours. Let’s just get through Christmas first ok?”

Kris nodded, happy to compromise. “Yeah that sounds fine. I’m sorry for springing this on you”

Adam leant up to kiss him. “I love you. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings”

“I love you too. Now, have you taken anything today?”

Adam shook his head. “No, just tea”

Kris gently stood up, shifting Adam so he was lying on the lounge. “Ok, well I’m going to find something for you, make some food or whatever. Just stay there”

“Kris I’m ok” Adam said, his voice cracking. 

“No you’re not. Now stop talking or you’re going to loose that voice for good”

Adam lay back, closing his eyes and relaxing as Kris puttered around the kitchen. Hopefully he could sleep this off and be ok for when he picked the kids up this afternoon. It was their last week of school, and because he’d missed the earlier parent-teacher night, he was having a meeting with both kid’s teachers tomorrow night. 

“Ok, I want you to take this and have some food and try to get some sleep” Kris said, handing him two pills and a glass of ginger ale. He set a bowl of soup down as well. 

“Thank-you” Adam croaked, voice almost gone now. He swallowed the pills and ate as much soup as he could manage before resting tiredly against Kris’s chest, pulling his arm over him. 

Kris placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and settled back, switching the television on softly. He watched quietly for a while, gently playing with Adam’s hair and feeling him relax, his head drooping until his soft snores told him he’d fallen asleep.

***

A few hours later Adam woke up, feeling marginally better, but still pretty crap. Glancing at the clock he sat up.

“I better go get the kids” he rasped, rubbing his eyes. 

“Ok. I better head off too, gotta collect Jamie and get organised. I’m really glad we sorted this out Adam. I hope you let me make it up to you”

Adam chuckled. “There’s nothing to make up, although I do hear that make-up sex is the best kind”

“You would know that wouldn’t you? Ok then. I’ll see you on the weekend” Kris said, kissing him softly.

***

Once Kris left Adam got organised and went out to the school to collect the kids, grinning when their faces lit up as they spotted him at the gate.

“PAPA!” Evan screeched, hurtling toward him. Anna dropped her school bag and pounced, almost knocking them off balance. 

“I’m so glad you’re back” she cried, kissing him. Adam hugged them both tightly. 

“I missed you guys. Did you have a good time?” Adam croaked. 

“Yeah it was ok I guess. What happened to your voice?”

“Did you sing too much?” Anna asked. 

Adam shrugged. “Probably, but it’s ok. Why don’t we head out to grandma’s and collect your stuff huh?”

They nodded and jumped into the car, each chattering loudly as he drove them out to his parents. Anna told him all about the new friend she’d made, while Evan sprouted stories of the time he’d spent with Jamie. 

Leila looked a little surprised to see them, but welcomed him warmly, tut-tutting when she heard his voice. 

“It’s fine Ma, just the flu. Kris already sorted me out” Adam said, accepting the mug of tea she handed him. 

“As long as he’s looking after you. So you had fun?”

Adam nodded, telling her about everything he’d done and what had happened while he was away. Leila frowned when he told her about the fight he’d had with Kris, but he assured her that things between them were good again. 

Eventually it was time to leave, and he packed the kids stuff into the car while they said goodbye. 

“Now you be gentle with your father you two, he’s not very well” Leila informed. 

“We will” both kids chorused, before jumping into the car. Adam waved as they headed off back home, together once again.


	38. 38

Adam spent the next few days taking it as easily as he could, resting up so he would be well enough for Christmas with the Allen’s. They would be flying out on the 22nd, which gave him two more days to get better. Unfortunately he didn’t get much of an opportunity: the kids had finally finished school and were hanging around the house, keeping him busy and constantly on the go. He’d been pleased to see that both the kids had gotten glowing reports from their teachers, and his meeting with them the night before had gone well. 

Right now though he was just dropping Anna off at a friends house, as soon as school had broken up she’d spent a lot of time on the phone organising a sleepover to make up for the one she’d missed last month. Evan had taken it upon himself to invite Jamie and Kris over for dinner so they could all have a ‘boys’ night. Anna didn’t mind, preferring nail polish and glitter over the baseball game that was on the television. Adam agreed with her entirely. 

“I’ll be here to pick you up tomorrow ok? Have fun, and don’t stay up too late!” he called hoarsely as she ran off with her friend. 

“Papa we have to go. We have loads of stuff to do before Jamie and Kris get here” Evan whined from the back seat, fidgeting anxiously. 

Adam tiredly pulled himself away and drove them home, going slow on the icy road. 

“Evan we’ll have plenty of time to get organised before they get here. Calm down” 

Evan raced off once they got home, setting up some kind of fort in his bedroom out of his bed sheets and making a bed for Max on the floor. Adam got their dinner organised before falling onto the lounge, closing his eyes for a moment. 

He must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew there was a big black dog licking his face, drooling all over him. 

“Max! Jamie I told you to keep hold of him, jeez” Kris cried, pulling the dog away. 

Adam rolled over, wiping his face. “So not the wake-up call I was after”

“Sorry Ad” Kris said, lifting his legs so he could sit on the lounge too. The boys ran off with the dog, leaving them alone. 

“If I marry you does he come too?” Adam asked, his eyes still half closed.

Kris laughed and leant forward, planting little kisses on Adam’s cheeks. 

“Yeah, but you also get me” he said, giving him a sloppy smooch. 

“Ok get off” Adam laughed, pulling himself off the lounge and heading into the kitchen, Kris trailing behind. He opened a bottle of red wine and poured them each a glass while Kris checked on the dinner. They worked well together, he mused, each moving around the kitchen and not bumping into each other, or getting in the way. Standing there, Adam realised he could have this every night if they got married, nothing would have to change. 

“Mama said she saw you on the television the other day. She’s probably even more excited to meet you now” Kris said, washing lettuce leaves in a large glass bowl. 

“Really? I hate to disappoint you guys, but I’m not that exciting” Adam said. 

“Yeah you are. What you do for a living is so far removed from anything my family’s done it’s not funny”

Adam chuckled. 

Just then the boys raced into the room, faces shining with excitement. 

“Papa can we sleep outside?”

“What? Evan it’s cold out there, you’ll freeze”

He shook his head. “No way, we’ll take heaps of blankets and we’ll have Max with us. Can we use the tent in the garage?”

“Boys you should have told me earlier. I would have set it up before it got dark.”

“Please Papa”

“Why don’t you set it up in the garage? It’ll be warmer in there than outside right? Come on, show me where it is and I’ll help you” Kris said, leaving Adam with the dinner and following the boys into the garage. 

He set the tent up quickly and helped the boys make it warm and cosy with a few blankets. 

“Can we eat out here?” Jamie asked. Kris laughed. 

“I thought we were going to watch a baseball game?”

Evan scrunched up his nose. “That’s boring. This is more fun”

“Ok then, I’ll bring it out to you.”

Their dinner was ready when he came back in and Adam carried both plates out to the boys, who were now trying to rig up an old television set they’d found. 

“Guys I don’t think it’s going to work. It’s broken”

“Can we have the little portable one you have?” Evan asked. 

“I suppose. Let me get it out” Adam said, heading back inside and retrieving the little television and bringing it back out to the boys. 

“Ok, you can go now” Evan informed him, turning his back and searching for a power point. 

“I’ll leave the door unlocked so you can come back inside during the night if you want. Be careful out here boys” Adam cautioned gently before heading back inside. 

Kris was already waiting for him at the table. “They settle down ok?”

“Yeah, I doubt they’ll stay out there all night, but we’ll see” he said, sitting down.

***

As it turned out, the boys didn’t come inside all night and the two of them were able to spend the whole night together, rekindling after the trouble between them. It was easy again, peaceful, and when they went to bed Adam made love to him slowly, savouring every moment, worshiping his body and saying without words, that he would one day marry him.

Afterwards they lay entwined, breath mingling as sleep drifted closer. Adam, eyes half closed, ghosted a hand along Kris’s shoulder. 

“Move in with us, you and Jamie. I’ll ask the kids. They’ve already asked me about it”

“Really? I’d love to move in with you” Kris mumbled, already half asleep. He snuggled closer, pillowed on Adam’s chest. 

“That’s settled then, all we need to do is ask the kids”


	39. 39

“Oh my God I’m so excited” Anna said, peering out the plate glass window at LAX a few days later. As was usual with this time of year it was packed, people crowding around and hurrying to board their flight, people welcoming loved ones and friends. 

The little group were currently waiting to board their flight to Conway, Kris’s home - town, and everyone was very excited. They’d left the house early that morning and arrived here a short while ago, checking in their bags and getting organised. Now they were at the gate, and Anna had her face pressed up against the glass window, watching the planes. 

“Now you two have to behave yourself on the plane. There’s going to be a heap of people on there and they aren’t going to want to listen to screaming boys” Adam said, nursing his second coffee of the day. He’d all but recovered from his cold, but still felt a bit tired, the early morning and busy day not really helping matters. 

“Yes Papa” Evan answered, all rugged up in a warm jacket. His red hair stuck out at odd angles from under his beanie. Kris’s mother had called ahead to inform them that it was snowy and cold back home. 

“You too Jamie” Kris added. 

“Is that us? Is that our number?” Anna cried as a voice sounded over the loudspeaker. Adam grinned. 

“Sure is honey, we better get going”

“Come on boys. Stay right by me” Kris said, and they all trooped onto the air bridge and then the plane. At Adam’s request they were flying business class, simply because his long legs wouldn’t fit in economy. Kris didn’t mind, it meant larger seats and more space in general. 

Once they were all in their seats the adults made sure the kids were buckled in and had a few things to amuse themselves: Anna had a new book and the boys had a portable video game. 

“Do your parents know what they’re doing?” Adam asked once they were at cruising altitude. 

Kris chuckled. “Yeah they do. They’re really excited to meet you. You’re actually the first guy I’ve brought home for a holiday”

Adam’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yep. I mean I’ve brought guys home before, well one guy actually. It uh, didn’t turn out so well obviously” Kris said, his cheeks colouring. 

Adam kissed his cheek. “To be honest I’m kinda glad it didn’t, cause now I get to keep you”

Kris smiled. “Yeah me too”

The rest of the flight went smoothly and it was dark by the time they disembarked and collected their bags. Kris spotted his parents waiting just past the carousel and led them all over. 

“Hey guys! God it’s been ages” he said, hugging them both. 

“I know, come here little son, you look so well!” his mother, a cheery dark haired woman pinched both his cheeks. 

“And I suppose we have you to thank for that do we?” the man beside her turned to Adam and gave his hand a swift shake. 

“Yes you do. This is Adam and his kids Anna and Evan”

“Hello Adam, I’m Kim and that’s my husband Neil. It’s so lovely to meet you. We’ve heard so much” Kim said, hugging Adam warmly and kissing his cheek. 

“It’s nice to meet you too”

“We better get moving then guys, got a bit of a drive ahead of us and it’s snowy out. Good to see you’re dressed warmly” Neil noted, picking up a bag and leading them all out into the frigid night air. 

“It’s freezing out here!” Evan cried, rubbing his arms. 

“It sure is buddy, you ever been in snow before?” Neil asked, hoisting the bags into the car. Adam gave him a hand with the rest before they all piled into the car, heading off through the city. 

“I’ve never seen snow before, not the real stuff anyway” Anna said, her face pressed to the window. 

“Well we’ve got plenty of it out at home”

“So when’s Daniel coming in?” Kris asked, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. He was wedged in between Adam and Jamie, the other two kids packed into the very back of the car. 

“He and Sarah are coming in tomorrow morning”

Adam listened politely as Kris caught up with his folks, occasionally answering questions that were thrown his way. Kim and Neil were easy going and very easy to chat with and soon they were pulling up outside a two storey house nestled a small way back from the road amid large pines that were covered in snow. 

Piling out of the car they carried the bags inside, stamping their feet on the door- mat before removing their shoes and stepping into the toasty living room. Adam was immediately hit by the warm smell of baking bread and the crisp pine scent of the Christmas tree. 

Kris showed the kids their rooms while Adam helped the others get the rest of the stuff from the car, making sure to hide the bag of Christmas presents he’d bought for everyone. The Christmas tree was set up in the corner already, a pile of gifts underneath shining in the warm light from the open fire that crackled in the hearth. 

“You want something to drink honey?” Kim asked, leaning in the doorway. Adam hid the bag of gifts and nodded, joining her in the kitchen. The kids were already in there, munching away on ginger bread men, cups of milk in front of them. 

“Papa you so have to make these” Evan said, his mouth full. 

“Manners” Adam reminded him, accepting the mug of tea Kim handed him. He leaned against the counter, gazing out the small window over the sink to the yard beyond, which was sparkling softly as the moonlight hit the snow. 

“It’s so pretty out here” he mused. 

“It gets a whole lot prettier in the day light” Kris answered, coming into the room. Kim handed him a mug and a ginger bread man. 

“We going to make a ginger bread house this year?”

Neil chuckled as the kids faces lit up. “Of course we can. You kids ever make one?”

“Only with Grandma” Anna answered, yawning a little. 

“Well we’ll have plenty of time to do that tomorrow” Kim said, collecting the empty mugs and plates. 

“Want a hand?” Adam asked. 

Kim shook her head. “Oh no honey, everything’s fine”

“Ok then, guys why don’t you show me where you’re sleeping huh? Time for bed I think” Adam said, following as the kids all raced off up the stairs. 

“You two are sharing your old room hon!” Kim called as Kris followed. 

“Thanks Ma” he called down, following the sounds of giggling until he found the kids in their room. The two boys were jumping around, while Adam was brushing Anna’s hair. 

“Ok boys. The bathroom is this way, come on!” Kris ordered, ushering the boys out the door and across the landing. He supervised while they brushed their teeth and washed their faces, making sure they didn’t make a mess until they were ready for bed. 

Anna was curled up in her bed, snug as a bug. 

“There are extra blankets in here in here if you need them ok? Boys! Bed now” Adam said, marching Evan to his bed. 

“But Papa it’s snowing! Go look!” he cried. Adam nodded, even though he got a bit excited. 

“I know, but they’ll be plenty of time to play in it tomorrow. Right now you have to go to sleep ok?”

“But I wanna play in it!”

“Tomorrow, I promise. Come on now”

Evan pouted but crawled into bed, protesting when Adam tucked the blanket firmly around him. 

“We’re just in the next room if you need us” Kris said, switching off the light and leaving the door ajar. Taking Adam’s hand he led him to the next room, which had been his as a young boy. 

This room was decorated in dark blue with creamy white curtains and a patchwork quilt resting on the bed. The furnishings were in cherry wood, and the whole room looked warm and cosy. Even though it had been upgraded since Kris was a boy there were still remnants of his early days scattered around the room, an old trophy on his desk, a school banner pinned to the wall. 

“Am I going to need long johns here?” Adam asked absently, staring out the window at the flurries of white snow settling on the sill. Despite the interior heating he could feel the chill from outside on the glass. 

“That’s funny” Kris said, digging in his bag for his pyjamas. 

“I’m serious, it’s really snowing out there”

“Don’t stress, I’ll keep you warm” Kris said, smacking Adam’s behind as he walked past. Adam rolled his eyes and started getting organised for bed. 

“Bathroom’s all yours” Kris said a moment later, jumping into bed, pulling the covers up. 

Adam changed quickly, shivering a little on his way back to the bedroom. 

“God it’s cold in here” he said, rubbing his bare arms vigorously as he climbed into the bed. 

“Come here” Kris said, wrapping his already warm arms around him, pressing their bodies together. 

“How are you so warm? You’re like a space heater” Adam mumbled, nestling closer, their legs twined together. 

“Your feet are cold” Kris laughed. 

“Shut up. I’m cold, keep me warm” Adam complained, heaping the blanket around him. Kris pressed closer, chuckling again as Adam wriggled around until he was finally comfortable. 

“It’s so quiet out here” Adam whispered after a moment. Kris nodded, listening to his parents still chatting downstairs. Slowly they came upstairs, switching off all the lights as they went until the house was bathed in darkness. 

Adam lay still, just listening to the night sounds. While his home wasn’t in a particularly busy part of the neighbourhood the occasional car still drove past, but out here he couldn’t hear much of anything. Shutting his eyes he tried to relax, but as was usual in a different bed, sleep was a long time coming.


	40. 40

Kris was woken early the next morning, the bright sunlight filtering in through the curtains, slanting over his face. Adam was still asleep, almost on top of him, snoring softly. Kris vaguely remembered that during the night Adam had decided to use him as a blanket, and promised to grab an extra one from the linen closet for tonight. 

“Move over, you’re squishing me” he mumbled, gently rolling Adam off him. Adam started awake, squinting blearily in the bright sunlight. 

“Watsgoingon?” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. 

“Nothing, you were heavy is all”

“Sorry. Guess I’m not used to this cold weather”

“It’s ok, come here babe” Kris said, pulling him close again. They lay together quietly, listening to the boys giggling in the next room. 

“You were restless last night” Kris stated, kissing his hair. 

“Mmm, I’m usually like that the first night in a different bed, been that way ever since I was a kid” Adam said, staring out the window at the snow that blanketed the ground. 

“What are we doing today?”

“Well my brother and his family are coming in at some stage, I’ll probably go get them from the airport. There’s plenty of snow out there, which the boys will want to be in of course”

“Me too. I’ve never really been in the real stuff either”

“Really? Well I’ll have to dig the old toboggan out of the garage then”

They lay quietly together for a moment before the sounds of pattering footsteps got them up. The two boys had snuck to the large window on the landing and were peering out at the sparkling snow. 

“Can we play in it?” Evan asked Adam, who’d just stepped from the shower and was adjusting the collar on his grey turtleneck. 

“Sure, just as soon as you’re dressed and had breakfast. Is your sister awake?”

Jamie nodded. “Yeah she’s awake”

“Wanna get dressed sweetie? Anna what’s wrong?” he asked, stepping closer when she huddled under the blankets. 

“Nothing” she said. 

“Come on honey, let’s go have some breakfast ok?” Adam said, helping her get dressed and braiding her long hair. He held her hand as they walked downstairs, knowing what was up already. 

Christmas always reminded them of Brad, and this was the first year they’d had someone else to share it with. It was bound to bring up all sorts of memories, and Anna always got a bit clingy at this time of year. He supposed being in a different house with no other girls her age wasn’t helping. 

The others were already seated around the large dining table, a spread of breakfast food between them. He buttered her some toast, wondering how to make her feel better. It turned out, Kim did the trick when she mentioned Kris’s brothers family. 

“You know Kris’s brother Daniel? He and his family are coming in today and they have a little girl who’s just about your age. Her name is Lucy and she always misses her friends at this time of year”

“Really?” Anna asked shyly, nibbling on her toast. 

Kim nodded. “Yep, they’re arriving this afternoon. I bet you will be great friends”

Anna nodded and got stuck into her food, missing the soft smile Adam gave her. 

Once everyone had eaten the kids raced outside, laughing and squealing in the crisp snow. Adam helped out with the dishes and the clean up before Kim shooed him away, sending him out with the kids. 

Kris loitered inside watching them frolic in the snow, a gentle smile on his face. 

“I’m going to marry him Mama” he said as Kim sidled up. 

“He’s lovely Kris, even though I hardly know them I love them already, those kids are just little darlings”

Kris laughed as Adam got smacked with a snowball before racing after whoever had thrown it, sinking down in a screaming laughing heap when he caught them. It was nice watching them like this, there were no paparazzi around, so Adam could be a goofy as he wanted. 

Grabbing a heavy jacket Kris lugged out the old taboggan, dragging it out over the snow to the group. 

“What’s that?” Anna asked, her beanie askew. 

“This,” Kris said, “is my old toboggan. Want to have a ride?”

She looked dubious, but Kris climbed aboard, patting the spot between his legs. Biting her lip she sat down and took hold of the rope. Jamie gave them a push and off they went, sliding down the gentle slope.

“Can I have a go?” Evan asked, his nose and ears pink from the cold air. Adam stood up, brushing at the wet spot on his jeans and pushing his wet hair out of his face. 

“Sure”

Once Kris and Anna had returned to the top of the hill they all took turns whizzing back down again, screams and laughter ringing through the quiet morning. 

“Your turn” Kris said, glancing at Adam, who grinned and climbed aboard, almost too tall for the old toboggan. Kris sat between his legs and the kids pushed them off. 

They raced down the hill, icy wind biting at their cheeks. Kris could hear Adam laughing in his ear before they hit a snow drift that sent them sprawling into the chilly powder. 

“I’ve never done that before” Adam said breathlessly, cheeks pink. Kris dusted off the snow and reached for the toboggan. 

“Really?”

Adam sat up, still covered in snow: Kris noticed little icicles on his eyelashes. “Yeah, so much fun”

“Lunch is ready you guys!” they heard Kim yell from the front door. The kids all raced off inside, leaving them to hike up the small hill, dragging the sled behind them. 

“Thanks for having us out here” Adam said, reaching for his hand. He pulled him closer for a soft kiss, wrapping his arms around the shorter man. 

“Thanks for coming, mama was looking forward to meeting you so much. She would have dragged you out here even if you couldn’t have come” 

Adam grinned and left his boots at the door before following him inside.

***

Kris left later in the afternoon to pick up his brother and his family from the airport, leaving the kids out in the snow and Adam curled up with a good book in front of the fire. His mother was making more ginger bread, and presented them with a fresh batch when they all trooped through the door.

Adam set his book aside and stood up, smiling politely when Kris brought them both over. The two brothers were very similar, and both had similar natures because Daniel enveloped him in a warm hug as soon as he came over. 

“Adam so good to finally meet you. You been looking after Krissy here?”

Adam laughed. “Sure have”

Kris gave his brother a shove and brought a leggy blonde woman forward. Adam kissed her cheek and gave her a quick hug. 

“Hi, I’m Sarah, it’s lovely to meet you” she said, her cheeks a little pink. Daniel grinned. 

“You’ll have to excuse my wife, she’s a bit of a fan”

“Daniel!” Sarah said, blushing. 

Adam smiled again and gave her hand a squeeze. “It’s really nice to meet you both”

“And here’s our daughter Lucy” Daniel said, bringing a sweet little blonde girl forward. Adam knelt down. 

“Hi Lucy I’m Adam, it’s very nice to meet you. My daughter is just about your age” he said, shaking her hand. She offered a shy smile and clung to her father’s side. 

Kim bustled over then, hugging them both. “Gosh it’s nice to have a full house again. It’s much too quiet with every one gone”

“Speaking of, lets get the other kids in and sort out what we’re doing for dinner” Neil said, yelling out the front door for the other kids to come in. 

Once they came inside more introductions were made and like he’d hoped, both Anna and Lucy raced off straight away, heading upstairs. The boys lingered down in front of the fire, warming up. 

They ended up ordering pizza and gathering in the living room for a big old family dinner. The kids all settled down with their food and the room was quiet as everyone ate. 

“So Adam, I have to ask you. When’s your next cd coming out?” Daniel asked after a moment. 

Adam swallowed, grinning when he saw Sarah slap her husband’s knee. 

“It’s out in a month or two, early in the new year”

“Cool”

“You’ll have to excuse my husband, mention something once and he’s like a terrier, just won’t let it go” Sarah said, rolling her eyes when Daniel looked wounded. 

“So we going to the parade tomorrow?” he asked, changing the subject. 

“Parade?” Adam asked. 

Kris nodded. “Yeah, every year at Christmas the city puts on a big parade, there’s huge floats and funnel cakes and all sorts of awesome stuff. They sweep the streets before so it’s all clear of snow”

“Trust you to bring up the funnel cakes” Daniel quipped. 

“Hey! Those things are awesome” 

Adam nodded. “I have to agree, funnel cakes are cool”

They chatted amiably well into the night, until a very sleepy Evan crawled into Adam’s lap, resting his head on Adam’s shoulder. 

Jamie was sprawled out on the lounge, head resting on Kris’s knee. The two girls were upstairs already, probably asleep on their beds. 

“Ok, we better get these kiddies off to bed” Kris said, picking Jamie up and heading upstairs. Adam followed, Evan cradled against his chest. 

“Adam check this out” Kris whispered once they reached the kids room. Adam leaned in the doorway, smiling when he saw that Anna and Lucy had indeed fallen asleep, wrapped up in a fluffy quilt. 

“Where’s Lucy sleeping?” he whispered, quietly helping Evan out of his clothes and into his jammies before settling him in the bed, Kris doing the same for Jamie. 

“Hey guys, where’s Lucy? Oh, there she is” Sarah whispered as she came up the stairs. 

“Where’s she sleeping?” Kris asked. 

“Oh, Kim’s set up another bed just in here” Sarah said, opening the door to the small room Neil used as an office. Turning back to the room, she gently picked up her daughter before carrying her off to her own room, leaving Adam to gently tuck Anna in before heading back downstairs to where the others were still talking


	41. 41

They were out early the next day to watch the parade that wound its way through the streets of the city. Kris had introduced him to some of his old school friends and they all stood together on the street, Evan riding aboard Adam’s shoulders so he could see over the people. Truthfully Adam thought Evan was getting a bit too big to be doing that sort of thing any more, but Evan had insisted, so now he had to put up with a bouncing boy atop his shoulders. 

“Evan, you’ve got to get down you’re too big.” Adam demanded after only 10 minutes. 

“But Papa I can’t see!”

Adam set him down. “I know, but you’re hurting me. You’re too big to be doing that any more”

Evan made a face before he went off with Jamie, pushing his way to the front of the gathered people so he could watch. Beside him, Kris seemed to be having a similar struggle. 

“Let’s go over there” he suggested, leading him over to a small opening in the crowd. They watched silently as the parade wound through the town before gathering up the kids and spending the rest of the morning exploring the shops and navigating their way through the throngs of last minute Christmas shoppers. 

“You done all your shopping?” Kris asked as they ate lunch, keeping their eyes on the kids. Daniel and Sarah had opted to stay at the house, claiming secret business, so they had Lucy with them. 

“Yep, I managed to get it all done before I even came out here” Adam said, sipping his coffee. 

“How’d you manage that? I think I have a few things left to get” Kris grumbled, glaring at the packed shops. 

Adam laughed. “I have my ways. You better get on it then. Do you want me to leave?”

Kris poked him. “Silence you. And yes, while I have your present I still need to get something for someone else, so you’ll have to make yourself scarce. I shouldn’t be too long”

“What did you get me?”

“You’ll find out tomorrow” Kris chuckled. 

“Will I like it?”

“I hope so”

Adam leant forward on his elbows. “Tell me, pleease” 

“No way! Now get lost, I’ll text you when I’m done”

Adam pouted. “Ok, I’ll take the kids for a walk around town. I’m sure Jamie can show us all some interesting things”

Kris gave him a quick kiss before heading off into the masses of thronging people, thinking of the last few presents he had to buy.

***

Later that night they lay snuggled together in the large bed, watching the drifting snowflakes silently hit the window, waiting for the hushed giggles and voices from the next room to stop so they could do Santa duty.

“What if they never stop?” Kris whispered, listening as Jamie laughed loudly. 

“They will. Evan usually drops off pretty quickly once he’s in bed, it’s just getting him there that’s the problem”

“I think I’m falling asleep” Kris said drowsily, snuggling closer. 

Adam sighed and pinched his arm. “You are not falling asleep. Told you it was a bad idea to go to bed”

“Keep me awake then” 

Adam sighed. “Come on, lets go wait on the landing”

Kris grumbled quietly but followed Adam out of the room and to the small loveseat near the stairs. 

“Why don’t you go and get things started, I’ll be down soon I think they’re asleep” Adam whispered, motioning toward the now quiet bedroom. 

Kris nodded and tip-toed down the stairs, leaving Adam to wait at the top. Grabbing a blanket from the cupboard Adam settled down in the seat, his eyes on the darkened bedroom. Sure enough, not five minutes after Kris had gone downstairs he heard whispered voices. 

“Told you they’d be asleep soon. Papa never stays awake for long” Evan whispered, and Adam heard the bed creak and the dull thud of feet on the floor. 

“Don’t! You’ll scare Santa away” Anna whispered worriedly. 

“No way! We have to go down and make sure he gives us the good stuff” 

“I’m telling Papa!” Anna whispered again. 

“Don’t Anna, you’ll be in big trouble if you do. Santa will put coal in your stocking”

Adam covered his mouth and tried to stifle his laughter as the kids bickered among themselves. Squinting in the dim light he spotted two small figures creeping toward where he was sitting. 

“Boys! I thought I told you to go to sleep” he said loudly, flicking the torch he had onto two shocked faces. 

“I thought you were asleep!” Evan squeaked. 

Adam stood up. “No I wasn’t. You boys need to go back to bed right now”

“But we want to see Santa” Jamie said. 

“Santa won’t come unless you’re asleep in bed you know, he knows when you’re awake, you’ve heard the song” Adam said, marching the two boys back to their beds. 

“But Papa…”

“But nothing. Go to sleep boys” Adam said sternly, tucking them back into bed. He left the door ajar and went back to his chair, keeping his eyes on the door. 

After only 15 minutes he checked in on them, making sure they were asleep before he went downstairs to help Kris. Daniel and Sarah had already performed their own Santa duty earlier in the night, so they had the room to themselves. 

“They asleep?” Kris asked, Jamie’s stocking in his hand. 

Adam nodded. “Yep, took some convincing but they’re asleep”

Kris grinned and they set about stuffing the stockings full of the gifts they’d both decided on throughout the last few weeks. When they were done Kris took a bite out of the cookie they’d left for Santa, while Adam drank some of the milk before they slipped on heavy coats and braved the frigid night to leave reindeer marks on the fresh snow. 

“This is so much cooler in the snow” Adam said, scuffing a sleigh track in the ice. 

Kris huffed a laugh, his breath foggy. “Literally”

Adam laughed softly before they went inside, leaving the living room decorated and now full of presents. His own gift for Kris was waiting under the tree with the others. 

After another check in with the kids, they slipped into bed, content that there Christmassy duties were done for another year.


	42. 42

They were woken early the next morning by the sounds of giggling squealing children as the kids all raced down the stairs to the living room.

“Papa! Papa! He’s been!” Anna yelled, running back upstairs to jump on their bed. 

“Has he?” Adam mumbled sleepily, giving her a quick kiss. Anna nodded and pushed at Kris’s sleeping body. 

“Wake up! Santa’s been” she demanded, before slipping her chilly fingers under the blanket to tickle him. 

“Ahh!” Kris laughed, squirming away. 

“Come on you have to come see”

Adam sat up. “We’re coming honey, just let me get dressed”

Anna nodded and raced off again, joining the other kids. Kris sat up. 

“Come on. There’s a couple of robes in there for us”

Adam clutched the blanket, not at all comfortable with appearing in front of the rest of the family in his jammies. “Kris! I don’t know…”

Kris shook his head and pulled him up. “Come on”

“Just give me a sec” Adam said, pulling away to grab some faded jeans. He changed quickly and they shared a kiss before joining the kids in the living room. 

Evan was inspecting his stocking, holding up various toys and books. He raced up and kissed them both, before dragging Adam over to show him what Santa had brought. Kris sat between Anna and Jamie and was shown everything, acting appropriately surprised. Lucy and Anna soon went off on their own as the rest of the family trickled downstairs, exchanging hugs and kisses. 

Once everyone was dressed they sat around the table and enjoyed a big breakfast, Christmas music playing softly in the background. Kim had made all sorts of yummy foods, cinnamon buns and criossants and bagels and they all ate far too much before settling in the living room around the tree. Kris took it upon himself to distribute the gifts and everyone had a small pile in front of them once he was done. 

Adam watched eagerly as Kris opened his gift, wondering what he thought of the little silver and blue eye of Horus pendant he’d found. 

“Oh wow Adam, this is gorgeous” Kris said, slipping it on and giving him a kiss. 

Adam smiled. “It’s a symbol of protection against all kinds of harm, but hopefully you’ll never need it”

“Thank-you”

Kris had had a little trouble coming up with a gift for Adam, he couldn’t find anything special or cool enough, so he’d saved his money and decided on an Ipad. 

“Woah” Adam said, gob-smacked as he tore off the silver paper. 

“This will hopefully keep you amused while you’re travelling around the world” Kris said, grinning at the look of utter shock on Adam’s face. 

“This is awesome, thank-you”

Adam had also chosen a skin pampering gift basket for Kim, and the latest bestseller for Neil, a bottle of expensive red wine for Daniel and an exclusive VIP pass to his next concert for Sarah, who gasped when she opened it. 

“Oh wow, thank-you so much!” she said, giving him a quick hug. 

“Not a problem” 

Once all the presents were opened the kids raced off outside to play with their gifts while Kim and Sarah got started on the food for lunch. Adam and Kris headed outside for a walk, heading off along the well-trodden path around the back of the house to where the woods bordered the property. 

“We should buy a house out here so we can come here for the winter” Adam said, his arm around Kris’s shoulders. 

“That would be so cool” Kris said, pressing a soft little kiss to the warm skin of Adam’s neck. 

"Merry Christmas Kris" Adam said softly, pausing for a deeper kiss. 

"Merry Christmas Adam, oh and happy Hannukah" Kris added, brushing Adam's cheek tenderly before resuming their leisurely pace around the snow covered grounds. 

They walked together in silence for a while: the only sound the crunching snow under their feet. Eventually they came back around to the front of the house where everyone was having a snowball fight. The boys had built a fort and were pelting the girls with an almost non-stop barrage of snowballs. 

“I think I’ll join the girls team” Adam said, jogging off to join the smaller team. 

After a furious snowball war, (which the boys won) they all trooped back inside for the traditional Christmas meal. Kim had outdone herself and they all ate and drank far too much. The perfect touch to the day came when Kris made a touching little speech about how happy he was, and how they should all take the time to remember the people who couldn’t be with them. 

He didn’t specifically mention Brad, but Adam knew he meant him, and gave him a teary kiss once he sat down. Anna hugged him tightly, thanking him for remembering her Dad. 

Once they’d finished they all collapsed into the comfy chairs in the living room, sleeping off the large meal. Adam got busy programming his new Ipad, Kris offering his input while everyone relaxed and chatted, the perfect ending to a perfect day. 

The most special moment for Kris came when Evan and Anna presented him and Jamie with a white china mug each, with a red K and a yellow J painted on the side. 

“This is so you match the ones we have at home. We’ve all got one, even Dad” Anna said. 

“Thank-you so much guys, this really means a lot” Kris said, hugging them both to him. Anna gripped him tightly and whispered in his ear before he let her go. 

“It’s ok with us if you want to marry Papa”

Kris pulled back, surprised. “Really?”

Evan nodded. “Yep, you’d make a great second Dad”

Kris smiled softly, choking up a little. “You don’t have to call me that if you don’t want to. I’m ok with just Kris”

“But you’re not just Kris. You’re _our_ Kris now” Evan said. 

Anna nodded. “I don’t think Daddy would mind if we called you Dad as well”

Kris hugged them again, not noticing Adam behind them. 

“What’s going on? Kris why are you crying?”

Kris sniffed. “No reason, just happy”

“Aww, come here softy” Adam said, hugging him. 

The kids all shared a secret smile before leaving them alone, joining the others in the living room. Kris and Adam stayed together like that for a long time, not speaking just holding each other. 

Kris didn’t tell Adam what the kids had told him, planning on keeping it a secret until he had everything ready. This time he would do it right.


	43. 43

After Christmas Kris and Jamie moved in amid the organised chaos currently enveloping them. Kris had to get the lease on his old place organised as well as the removalists, and Adam had released his second album amid fantastic reviews. 

They attended the Grammy’s, and just as Kris had expected Adam won in his category, even performing his new single on the night to a roaring crowd. Kris watched from the front row, cheering and applauding as the man he loved wowed the crowd. He'd been absolutely terrified, but had walked the red carpet, clinging to Adam's hand and smiling politely as the paparazzi snapped photo after photo. 

The leaves were changing colour by the time Kris came around to proposing. They’d discussed the matter extensively, and Adam had admitted a short time after Christmas, that he felt he was ready to take that step. Kris planned a day for them both, hoping everything would go as planned. 

He took Adam to lunch as his favourite restaurant in town before they took a walk through a leafy park, the gusty Autumn wind whipping their hair and clothes. They chatted for a while about everything that had happened, and how things between them were so good, until Kris reached for his inside pocket, dropping to one knee even as Adam continued talking. 

“So anyway like I was saying, the tour’s going to be…Kris what are you…oh my god” he said, covering his mouth. 

“Adam, we’ve been together for a while now, so this should come as no surprise to you. I love you so much: aside from my son you’re the best thing that’s happened to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and was hoping you’d do me the honour of marrying me?” he asked, opening the blue velvet box to reveal a platinum ring, a diamond set into the band. When he’d seen it he thought it was perfect for Adam, just the right amount of sparkle without being over the top. 

“Kris…” Adam whispered, hand still at his mouth. 

“Is that a yes? Come on, don’t leave me hanging” 

Adam nodded and tried twice before he could speak. “Yes! Yes I’ll marry you Kris”

Kris jumped up, sliding the ring onto Adam’s finger before they hugged, laughing breathlessly and stealing soft kisses. Adam brushed away a stray tear and laughed again, holding Kris tightly, full to bursting with emotion. 

“We’ll be happy won’t we” he whispered, already knowing the answer.


End file.
